I'll never let them hurt you, I promise

Frank-
i smoked that cigarette quickly and hardly gave myself time to put it out before lighting another one. i know my smoking habit is bad but it seems to be the only thing which really calms me down. i sat on the dirty floor as my mind ran wild with all sorts of different thought's. i hated Jaylin, why did she get Gerard? it wasn't fair. i realised i had maths next, the lesson where Gerard wouldn't have Jaylin attached to him and he would probably try talking to me because he has no one else to. "fuck that" i mumbled to myself knowing i wasn't going to let Gerard use me, pretend to be my friend and probably ask me loads of dumb question abut walking off at lunch. i lifted myself up off the floor and started to walk down the school drive way, i plugged my ears phones in as i walked out the school gates and continued to walk home. i soon made it home, a lot quicker then i thought i would have done. i unlocked the front door and walked in, i knew my parents would still be at work so they couldn't tell me off for ditching. i put my back down, kicked my shoes off and ran up to my room. the curtains were still closed from last night and i decided not to turn the light on and just sit alone in the dark.
however i soon realised that it wasn't that dark and i wasn't alone.
i felt a grasp around my waist pulling me to my left. i gasp slightly as i turned to see Josh sat on the bed next to me. i rested my head on Josh's chest as he hugged me conforming me. my eyes started to fill with tears slightly as i wrapped my arms around his stomach hugging him tightly, it was only then that i realised josh's clothes were soaking wet through and were wetting my hair making stick to my face.
"you don't need him frank" josh's voice pierced my ears as my head moved up and down along with his breathing pattern.
"no, i want him though" i tell josh, my voice weak as if i was about to start crying. josh quickly brakes away from the embrace and looks down into my eyes.
"well i want you" he sounds confident. i turned my head down to star at the floor
"you did have me" i sigh feeling a singe tear fall for my eye and beginning to roll down my cheek.
"frank how many times can i say i'm sorry" he reaches his hand out and cups the bottom of my chin turning my head so our eyes meet again. i have missed josh, i miss being with him, i miss being able to touch him.
"i regret it so much Frankie" his voice croaks slightly as the words leave his lips. god why does he have to sound so cute, using my nickname as if he owns it.
"but i still want you" his voice became lower and some what weaker as he uses the hand on my chin to tilt my face and i soon feel his smooth icy clod lips against mine. i let him kiss me and i hear a muffled noise trying to escape his lips but i feel no passion, no love.
he runs his tongue over my bottom lip and tugs at my lip ring a little before trying to push his tongue into my mouth. my mouth. i suddenly pull away with wide eyes shocked that josh would even try something like that.
"josh no" i whisper watching as his facial expression changes and he soon disappointed and hurt.
"why?"he asks tears forming on his eyes and starts to roll down his cheek. "don't you love me any more?"
my body soon became overpowered with anger and i began to shout at josh
"josh how can i love you anymore? you fucking dead, you killed yourself and left me here alone!"


Gerard~~
why did frank storm off like that a lunch? i would have asked him in maths about it but he didn't show up. i should have chased after him in the cafeteria, he doesn't know i like him though. what if he does know and he's so disgusted that he couldn't sit with me. he's gay though, right? oh gosh i might just be so ugly tht he cant look at me without feeling sick. fuck.
As i sat on the bus on the way home i felt this sharp pain in my chest as if someone was stabbing me in the heart. i've just spent the last hour blaming myself for frank walking out of school although i don't have a clue what's going on with him. he didn't come to last lesson and i assume thats because we had maths nd he knew i would be there. he defiently hates me.

Notes

they boh want each other but they think they hate each other. great
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