I'll never let them hurt you, I promise

Frank~~
4:30pm... stood still on the door mat staring at the white painted wooden door wondering if i should knock or simply walk away. however i have plainly had enough of running away from my problems i need to go in there tell that boy what i feel and hear what he has to say. i cant go on like this. torn on weather Gerard likes me or not.
actions are louder then words
i look around at the vibrant green grass which is a little overgrown in the garden, blowing around in the wind.
free
the tree's also sway slightly with the breeze which is starting to become chilly. just knock frank.
*knock, knock*
two pathetically weak small knocks however they must have been heard quickly or i was just being waited on because the door swings open immediately and im greeted with that toothy smirk and them hair covered hazel eyes. i take a deep breath as if to speak but his voice beats me and brakes the silence surrounding us
"come in" he whispers still a stupid smirk on his face as i follow him into the house, shutting the front door behind me. he doesn't speak again but i continue to follow him to his bedroom also shutting that door behind me. i watch as he walks over to his bed, sits on the edge of it then pats the place next to him signalling me to join him on the mattress. i do however the images of our night together run through my mind making a some what half smile creep across my face.
"is Jaylin here?" i ask suddenly wanting to know we can speak without her input, he stairs at me with a confused look on his face
"of course not" he say letting his smile grow wider "we're all alone Frankie"
i ponder on the thought for a while, where was jaylin? mikey? his mother or father? however i soon dismiss the thoughts as i feel Gerard's arm slide round my back and grab my waist pulling me closer to him on the bed. i look up into his dazzling orbs for a few moments and watch as he leans down closer to me, i slowly push a hand between our bodies and on to his chest before he can press his lips against mine. i push him away a little however we are still extremely close.
"no Gerard we need to talk" i say realising if i kiss him it will probably lead to other things which will distract us both from the subjects which so desperately need to be discussed. he frowns down at me before pouting and widening his eyes, thinking maybe a cute face will get him into my pants
"no" i repeat "we really need to talk" i say turning my gaze to the floor
"Frankie, you look so sexy though" i feel my a shiver spread down my spine as i feel his hand run up my chest over my misfits shirt. i quickly push him further away with more force this time not wanting to let Gerard distract me.
"do you like me?" i ask letting my eyes meet his again "i mean really like Gerard" i continue but
as soon as i let the word exit my mouth the slender figure moves closer to me again on the bed, his eyes staring down into mine
"Frankie" his voice not much more then a whisper "i think i love you" my heart pounds frantically against my chest but i don't have time to reply because i quickly feel the press of his lips against mine. i smile into the kiss after a second before kissing back passionately. its not a fast lust filled kiss its more of a gentle loving one and it makes me believe the words which Gerard has just said. i pull away after a few moment wiping my lips before going back into serious mode.
"Gerard, i told you my secret, please tell me yours"
his eyes now seem to widen and darken as if his pupils have eaten up the beautiful hazel i adore so much as if fearful memories are rushing through his mind. he lets out a heavy breath after a few seconds before letting his glance fall back on me
"do you really want to know frank"
i nod my head quickly not giving Gerard any other chance but to tell me everything. i mean i told him my secrete even though it hurt me to think back on them sort of memories
then he begins

"Frankie. at my old school before i moved here i was in a relationship with a boy of course, although no one knew apart from Jaylin, she was the only person in the word which new about my sexuality. keep it in mind you are the only other now.
and well within this relationship i was not treated very well. the boy i was seeing was called bret i mean i thought i loved him. at first he was sweet and kind and lovely however it all quickly changed.
he would hit me, punch me, kick me basically beat me whenever we was alone. at the time i thought this was al right because he told me all relationships went through rough patches, he said all couple were like that. this being my first i believed every word like a fool.
soon the abuse because a lot worse. it became sexual
however being the fool i was bret convinced me that it was ok also it was also something every couple did. things got so bad i had to go to the hospital because of 3 broken ribs he had given me. unfortunately i was fine.

once i told my family about what was happening they went straight to the police obviously although there wasn't much they could do.
once i grew up and realised that my parents were right and that it was abuse i realised how bad things actually were. the memories soon became nightmares of my past they haunted me and sometimes i wouldn't sleep in fright that bret would come and attack me in my sleep. there was nothing worse then remembering how i were sexual abused for so long
my tears and shaky hands soon turned to sleepless nights and bad health which soon lead me to a razor and ripped open flesh.
the thing is Frankie Jaylin told me what happened Friday before you came round, she said she was sorry for over reacting but she just didn't want me to end up with another bret but she doesn't know you like i do, your not like that Frankie and i love you because of it i really fucking love you."

Through the whole speech Gerard's voice was broken and heavy as if it pained him to tell me, honestly i think i was more upset then him. i felt a tear trickle down my cheek as Gerard stood up in front of me off the bed and pulled his trousers down his thigh, the flesh was covered in small deep cuts and scars. some not fully healed.
how did i not notice this before, how broken he was, i was always thinking about myself thinking i was the one with the problem however the person i love is sat right in front of me telling me how much he was hurt. by others and by himself.
yes i had self harmed before but not like this the scars were so deep and there were so many it frankly made me feel sick.
once his voice calmed all the way down to a stop i stared him in the eyes, looking through the emotions they showed searching for any hate toward me however there was none. although he did look disappointed when i didn't say anything back to him after his long meaningful talk. there was a moment of silence before i practically pounced myself on top of Gerard making us both fall backwards however i fell over his body. i quickly met my lips with his and kissed him quickly and hungrily. he kissed back braking away a few times to catch his breath after the sudden impact of us falling down onto the bed. i crawled on top of him and straddled his hips before kissing his lips again. i felt his tongue trail over my lip and lip ring asking for entrance i quickly parted my lips and let our tongue's roll over each others passionately, it was soppy and filled with fighting tongues and clashes of teeth but it was still loving. i kissed him deeply trying to show how if we stopped now i actually might die. i placed one of my hands on the bed at the side of Gerard's head and let the other run up and down his chest drawing circles slightly before running down his stomach then under the shirt to feel the warm soft skin. he groans a little into my mouth as my fingertips brush past his nipple and i giggle a little pulling my lips away from his to look down into his eyes.
i stair down at his face letting my eyes roll from his eyes, to his nose, lips, chin then back up. i smiled instantly as i feel his hands come up and hold my sides protectively. i move my hand out of his shirt and run it through his hair which he smiles at and blushes slightly.
"Gerard i need to tell you something"
i whisper our lips brushing over each others almost touching but not quit.
"what honey" he whispered closing his eyes for a long moment before opening them again to lock our gazes together. i take a deep breath and exhale sharply before
"Gerard, i have to go to therapy" i say closing my eyes as i suddenly feel ashamed of myself. however my eyes were quickly thrown open by the quick movement of the body underneath me, he sits up with me still in his lap and brushes the side of his nose against mine as if to kiss.
"that doesn't change you in my eyes Frankie" i sighed in relieve
"i still love you and most certainly still want you" the words make my skin prickle a little as i feel Gerard push his lower half of body upwards into mine so i can feel his jeans beginning to bulge.

Notes

aww poor Gerard
hopefully they can have a relationship now
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