Gerard's POV
Monday rolls around quicker than expected, but I don’t mind. Normally, I hate Mondays, but Monday means school, and school means I get to see Frank and seeing Frank is always good. When the alarm woke me up earlier, I wasn’t groggy at all; I am wide awake and ready to go. I run down the stairs as soon as I’m dressed. I run down so quickly that I nearly crash into Mikey. “Jesus Christ, Gerard! Do you ever watch where you’re going?” He snaps. Usually, I get all made and snap back rudely or I’d do something that I’d regret later, but instead, I just smile; I’m in too good of a mood to get upset. “Sorry Mikes, you’re right, I should have been watching where I was going,” I say, using his nearly forgotten pet name. Mikey raises an eyebrow then shakes his head, muttering, “What did you put in your coffee this morning?” He glares coldly, shoving past me.
Speaking of coffee, I have time to go drink some today. I head to the kitchen to our coffee brewer, already filled by Mom earlier this morning before work. I full up a mug with it, chugging it down, probably burning my tongue, but I don’t really care or notice. I set the now empty cup into the sink, reaching for my homework folder I had left on the counter the other night. “What the hell is going on with you today, Gerard?” Mikey asks from the doorway. I smile at him, shaking my head as I put my folder in my bag. “Nothing’s wrong Mikey, I’m just having a good morning, that’s all,” I tell him. He watches me suspiciously as I go to the front door. “Bye Mikey, I love you!” I call out before finally leaving.
When I get to school, I head to the same place that Frank and I always meet: at the bench right next to the office. Frank and I decided to meet here so he knew where to go and not get lost. But when I get there, he isn’t. Usually, Frank is at school before I am, so not seeing him is new for me. I don’t think too much of it, maybe he’s just ill or late. I sit on the bench and put my headphones in, passing the time and assuming that he’s late. But as time comes close to first period, I conclude that he’s just simply not here today. Sadly, I get off the bench and go to class, my mind spinning, searching for a reason for his absence. I don’t know what kind of day I’ll have without him. I suppose it’ll be just like how things used to be. Back onto the battlefield without my armor.
As the day stretches on and my energy wears thin, I start to realize just how much I need Frank. Knowing that I’m alone again is crappy, even though it’s just for one day. At lunch, it really is just like now it was when Frank wasn’t around. Bert and his friends joke as if I can’t hear them; they throw things at me, laugh too loud and Mikey watches. And as per usual, they circle around my table. “Hey Geetard, where’s your faggot friend?” Bert asks. I clench my fists and turn to him. “Shut up, McCracken! Frank isn’t a faggot. Just go away,” I say. Bert snorts out a laugh. “Oh yeah? Well how come your little brother told us that you two fucked on Saturday?” He retorts.
I turn to look at Mikey in disbelief. He wasn’t even home when Frank was there; he wouldn’t have known what we did. I turn back to Bert and say, “We didn’t! Frank only came over; I don’t know why Mikey would say something like that. H-he only came over.” Bert smirks as I sank lower into my seat. Surely Mikey wouldn’t actually do something like that to me. Lie to get Bert to do this to me. He doesn’t hate me that much. Does he? “Sure, Frank came over, all over you!” Bert hollers. Hearing him talk about Frank like that makes me sick and I’m not going to let him do that anymore. “Y’know what, you’re just a jerk. Congratulations, but where does that get you? Honestly, it’s pathetic how you’re amused by other people’s pain, or are you? Do you really like seeing other people hurt, or are you just hiding?” I ask. Bert glares at me, anger twisting his face. “Being a jerk gets me power over freaks like you, because that’s all you are, Gerard. You’re a freak, you and you faggot friend are freaks! That’s all you’ll ever be!” He spits.
Finding myself braver than I ever have been, I stand my ground. I rise from my chair, looking Bert right in the eyes as I say, “Well you don’t have that power anymore.” Finally, I slam my fist into his face, without really thinking it through. As Bert stumbles back, I know it was a mistake. Blood leaks from his nose as he glares at me. But then he smiles. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he says, all too calmly. All that happens next happens in a blur. I’m dragged from my chair and out of the lunch room, right into the bathroom where I’m shoved to the ground; all seeming to happen in a matter of seconds. As the door closes, Bert starts shouting insults at me. The words don’t hurt; he’s said them all before many times. But it feels sort of different, the walls of the bathroom echoing his voice, making him sound louder, bigger, like the voice of a giant shouting over me. “You have no right to touch me, freak! If you hit me, I hit back ten times harder!” He yells. And he does.
Bert slams his fist into my eye with so much force I can feel it swell instantly. I can’t feel the pain. I don’t know why, but I can’t. He doesn’t stop there, but I really didn’t expect him to. He throws himself onto me, attacking me with blows to the face, kicks in the gut, it doesn’t seem to end. His friends are circled around me, making me feel caged in, enclosed, trapped, claustrophobic. I gasp as Bert’s foot collides forcefully into my ribs. I don’t’ fight back, it would be useless. I curl up into a ball in an attempt to shield my vital organs. Bert snarls, kicking me in the head. “Don’t be such a fucking wimp, Geetard! Fight back!” He shouts. He kicks me in the head again and again, each time I can feel myself slowly starting to black out.
“Bert, stop,” a voice says. The beating ceases and I look up to see the one person I never thought I’d see. “That’s enough,” Mikey says. Bert stares at my little brother for a moment, the finally turning to leave, his friends following behind. I look at Mikey, staring at him with wide eyes. “Gerard, just get up,” he says. I do what he tells me to and I start to rise to my feet. The pain of the beating now hits me with full force. I let out a cry as I fall to my knees. Mikey rushes toward me quickly, helping me back up. Once I’m standing on my feet, I ask curiously, “Why did you help me?” He shrugs, looking around. “I’m not a total asshole, I wasn’t going to let him kill you,” he says. Mikey grabs a paper towel, dampening it with water from the sink. He reaches toward my face, dabbing at the blood. I grab his hand and smile, saying, “I got it, you go back to you friends.” He nods, and as he walks away, my heart warms to know that he cared, at least a little.
It’s been three days since the incident, and still no sign of Frank. I’m really starting to worry. What if something is seriously wrong? What if I scared him away? Hell, I probably freaked him out when he came over. He probably hates me now. I need to apologize. I grab out my phone and press in his home phone number. It rings over and over again until finally, someone picks up. “Hello,” they say, it’s Frank’s father. “Hi, is Frank home? I really need to talk to him,” I say. The line is quiet and I’m silently hoping it’s because he’s getting Frank. “No sorry, Frank’s busy,” he says. I bit my lip, looking around. “Well… do you know when a good time to call back is? It’s really important that I talk to him,” I explain. His father sighs, irritancy in is breath. “No, Frank’s going to be tied up for quite a while; he’s got a lot to do. And besides, he doesn’t want to talk to you. You used him. He told me all about the pity shit you pulled on him. Really Gerard, did you think your lies were going to last forever?” He said, hanging up the phone.
I drop the phone to the ground. Pity shit? What did that even mean? I never used Frank, I never lied to him and I would never even do any of that! Does Frank hate me that much? He’s so desperate to get away from me that he would lie about it? I just can’t believe it, I thought he loved me. Tears fill my eyes, the pain from this hurts worse than any blow from Bert’s fists ever could. I lay on the couch, ignoring the piles of homework assigned to me today. I just don’t understand it. Frank is such a sweet and loving guy. I mean, he was willing to be friends with the biggest loser ever. He said he loved me! Why would he turn around and tell his father that I just lied to him and used him? It doesn’t make any sense.
Quite honestly, I’d like to lie on this couch for the rest of eternity, two eternities, forever. I don’t want to move, or to think, or to exist at all. I want to fade into nothing. But apparently, the universe does not agree with me. Someone knocking at the door is clearly a sign to get off my ass, abandoning my plans. I slowly get up as the knocking grows louder, faster, more urgent. I unlock the door, opening it at the speed of a sloth, but the door gets shoved open by the person outside, who turns out to be Mikey. He stumbles in, falling into me, sobbing into my chest.
“Whoa, Mikey! What’s wrong?! What is it?” I ask, shoving my own problems aside. He doesn’t answer. Instead, he holds on tighter, crying louder. I lead him to the couch, holding him close. I’ve never seen him like this before, he has always been the more emotionally stable one. He clings to me, gripping my shirt with shaking hands. I stroke his hair with one hand while patting his back with the other. “Mikey, you need to talk to me, what happened?” I ask again. He buries his face in the crook of my neck, now trying to keep his sobs back. “Please tell me Mikes, I’m worried about you. Talk to me,” I say. He whimpers, shaking his head over and over again. I don’t know what to say now, it’s clear that he’s not going to be telling me anything any time soon.
Mikey and I sit on the couch together; I let him cry for a good 45 minutes before he falls asleep on my shoulder. I stand up, gently laying him on his back, wrapping a blanket around him. I stare at him, taking his glasses off his face. I know he gets a headache if he leaves them on all night. I’m worried about him, very worried. Whatever happened must have been terrifying if it scared him enough to come to me. Out of all the people he knew, he came to me. I’m the guy that even he doesn’t like, so this can’t be good. I need to find out what’s happened to my little brother, I need to keep him safe. It’s my job as the older brother to do so. I press a kiss to his forehead, whisper a goodnight, and trudge up to my room. I can’t worry about my problems, not when my brother has a problem that is potentially much bigger. My own issues are just going to have to wait.
Frank’s POV
How long has it been? Five, maybe six days? I honestly don’t know anymore. I’m still trapped inside the closet, and I’m afraid that I’ll never get out. My father hasn’t spoken to me, I don’t even know if he’s home. He could have easily just gone off on his own for as long as he wants me in here. I need him to let me out, I hate small spaces as it is. “Dad?! Please let me out! Please! I-I’ll do anything! I’ll stop talking to Gerard, just let me out!” I shout. No, the part about not speaking to Gerard isn’t true, but if it’ll get me out, I’ll say anything. There’s no response from him. I slam my fists against the door like I’ve done almost one million times by now. Still nothing from Dad. Tears fill my eyes, which is very normal recently. I’m actually surprised that there’s still enough water in my body to produce tears.
What if I don’t get out? What if I die here? Who would tell Gerard? I regret ever telling my father about my love for Gerard. I wouldn’t be in this situation, I would be at school, and I’d be with Gerard, safe in his arms. I’m sure Gerard hates me now, I mean, I just left without warning. He’s probably mad at me, I don’t blame him. I hope Bert isn’t giving him any shit. I know that Gerard doesn’t really stand up for himself all that well. If Bert picks on him, he sort of just lets it happen. His brother doesn’t do anything to help, as far as I know, I’m the only one that does do something. If I’m not there, who’s protecting him?
I pound my fists against the door a few more times shouting, "Let. Me. Go!" There's still no sign of my dad and it's really starting to piss me off. What right does he have to keep me locked up in this place? Sure, he's my dad, but that doesn't mean that it's okay to do this! I wont let him get away with this, it's abuse. I slam my fists against the door for what feels like a million times. One final blow and the door gets a large hole, one large enough to fit my hand through. With that hand, I push it out of the hole, grabbing the door handle from the outside. Thankfully, the door doesn't need a key to unlock it, just a button. With my forefinger, I push the button, unlocking the door and freeing myself.
The door flies open and I'm free. I find my way out of the house, thankfully not alerting my dad. I walk out the front door, cold night air hitting me, a relief from the stuffy closet I spent so much time in. I sprint down the sidewalk for only a couple of feet before I freeze in my tracks, realizing that I had no idea where I was really going. I don't know my way around this town, even after most of my life, I didn't know the other ones. Chances are I'd get lost. I stand still in the middle of the sidewalk, trying to decide what to do. I can't go back home, I wont. But where do I go? I have no idea where Gerard lives, no idea how I'd even get there, and I don't know anyone else. I'm terrified about being alone and homeless, even if it's just for one night. And my dad, he'll find me, I know he will. When he does, what'll happen to me? He'll be mad, pissed and I know that I'll be punished. Severely.
"Frank?" someone says? My muscles tense and I look around. I know it's not my dad, but who is it? "Iero is that you?" they ask again. I open my mouth, stuttering a couple vowels, hearing someone walking toward me. "It's me, Ray Toro, we've been in a couple classes together, do you remember me?" He asks. I do remember Ray a little bit. I nod slightly, still unnerved. "Good um... what are you doing? It's late, are you okay?" He asks. Could he be the thing that I need right now? "I-I'm fine. But do you... know where Gerard Way lives?" I ask, doubting that he really would know. I rub my arms, waiting for his answer. "Mikey Way's brother? Yeah, I know where they live, I have been there a couple of times before, do you want me to take you there? It's a bit too far away to walk," he says. Thank god for this man.
He takes me to their house as he rambles on and on about how he used to be friends with Mikey, but they don't talk much anymore. Based on what he's saying, he knows more about Mikey that Gerard does. His one-sided conversation seems to drag on and on, but we're finally coming to a stop. "Okay Frank, this is it, good luck!" He says. I thank him and get out. I carefully approach the door, my nervousness rising. Will Gerard even want to see me anymore? Maybe I just need to explain myself, he'll understand, right? I lightly knock on the door, worried that no one will answer. Ray has driven away, so there's no turning back and going home now. I don't know what time it is, they might be asleep. I knock again, this time louder. The door opens, but they don't speak right away. "Uh... is Gerard there?" I ask. It's silent for a moment and I'm starting to worry that I went to the wrong house. "Yeah, sure, come inside, I'll go get him," they say, it's Mikey. I take a large sigh of relief and walk inside. Fingers crossed Gerard will still talk to me.

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