Do You Wanna Hold My Hand?
Lonely.
Chapter Thirteen: Lonely
Gerard got home from Frank's sighing happily. Mikey bounced up from the sofa to greet his older brother.
"Hey Mike! Where's mum?" Gerard asked, ruffling the younger boys hair.
"Hairdressers!" Mikey giggled before running back to his place on the sofa to watch TV. Gerard grabbed a packet of cookies from the kitchen and went to his room to complete his homework.
About an hour after Gerard had arrived home his phone beeped to tell him he'd received a message. Gerard picked up the device thinking the text would be from Frank but his phone simply told him it was unknown.
"Hey baby! Meet me after school tomorrow, 4pm okay? Down near HMV in new town? I'll bring you more stuff.
Love ya babes! Bert xxx"
Gerard was almost sick as he remembered Bert from lunch time. He ran to the shower, suddenly feeling extremely dirty. He scrubbed at his bare skin but couldn't wash the feeling away. He remembered Frank looking up at him so innocently and leaned back, sitting down in the trickling water and putting his head in his hands. What had he done?
"Geeeeeeeeeeeraaaaaaaard!" Mikey squealed, slamming on the bathroom door for his brother. Gerard placed the razor blade he had been using to leave marks in his skin on the side of the sink, looking up and sighing at his bloodied arms.
"What?" Gerard yelled at Mikey, not moving his eyes from his arms.
"Mum said you need to make me tea! She's gone round to err ... I ... Err, someone's house!" Mikey shouted through the think wooden bathroom door.
"Kay!" Gerard shouted back as he heard his brother skip away from the door probably back to his seat on the sofa in the living room.
"What's wrong with me?" Gerard asked his reflection before returning to the shower to remove the blood stains from his arms, leaving new dark red cuts on his bare, already marked skin.
Gerard sat down next to his younger brother on the sofa and switched the TV to a show they both didn't mind whilst they ate the Chinese food Gerard had ordered. Mikey mumbled on about his day at school throughout the meal, usually eating at the same time. Gerard had left him to watch the TV after cleaning their plates up and went to his room. Suddenly he remembered the bag of white powder in his bag that he'd been given by Bert. Flipping the bag in his hands after rummaging around in his pocket for it, he considered whether or not to use it. He weighed the pro's and con's, if Frank found out about the drugs he'd be devastated, never mind his mum! Plus Gerard had the feeling that if Bert became his new dealer, he wouldn't want paying in money, it was sex he wanted. On the other hand, it wasn't like Gerard was going to overdose, he'd used the stuff before, and it helped get rid of all his problems, maybe only for a little while but they were still gone for a while. And then there was Bert, he kind of enjoyed the sex, but that's all it was, just sex. Meaningless sex. They didn't love each other, Bert didn't hold a candle to Frank. But what if Frank found out? It would destroy him, that's the only thing that made Gerard begin to hesitate. Stupidly he shrugged the feeling off and started organising the powder to use. Hopefully, Bert would keep it a secret, at least that's what Gerard hoped.
Gerard got home from Frank's sighing happily. Mikey bounced up from the sofa to greet his older brother.
"Hey Mike! Where's mum?" Gerard asked, ruffling the younger boys hair.
"Hairdressers!" Mikey giggled before running back to his place on the sofa to watch TV. Gerard grabbed a packet of cookies from the kitchen and went to his room to complete his homework.
About an hour after Gerard had arrived home his phone beeped to tell him he'd received a message. Gerard picked up the device thinking the text would be from Frank but his phone simply told him it was unknown.
"Hey baby! Meet me after school tomorrow, 4pm okay? Down near HMV in new town? I'll bring you more stuff.
Love ya babes! Bert xxx"
Gerard was almost sick as he remembered Bert from lunch time. He ran to the shower, suddenly feeling extremely dirty. He scrubbed at his bare skin but couldn't wash the feeling away. He remembered Frank looking up at him so innocently and leaned back, sitting down in the trickling water and putting his head in his hands. What had he done?
"Geeeeeeeeeeeraaaaaaaard!" Mikey squealed, slamming on the bathroom door for his brother. Gerard placed the razor blade he had been using to leave marks in his skin on the side of the sink, looking up and sighing at his bloodied arms.
"What?" Gerard yelled at Mikey, not moving his eyes from his arms.
"Mum said you need to make me tea! She's gone round to err ... I ... Err, someone's house!" Mikey shouted through the think wooden bathroom door.
"Kay!" Gerard shouted back as he heard his brother skip away from the door probably back to his seat on the sofa in the living room.
"What's wrong with me?" Gerard asked his reflection before returning to the shower to remove the blood stains from his arms, leaving new dark red cuts on his bare, already marked skin.
Gerard sat down next to his younger brother on the sofa and switched the TV to a show they both didn't mind whilst they ate the Chinese food Gerard had ordered. Mikey mumbled on about his day at school throughout the meal, usually eating at the same time. Gerard had left him to watch the TV after cleaning their plates up and went to his room. Suddenly he remembered the bag of white powder in his bag that he'd been given by Bert. Flipping the bag in his hands after rummaging around in his pocket for it, he considered whether or not to use it. He weighed the pro's and con's, if Frank found out about the drugs he'd be devastated, never mind his mum! Plus Gerard had the feeling that if Bert became his new dealer, he wouldn't want paying in money, it was sex he wanted. On the other hand, it wasn't like Gerard was going to overdose, he'd used the stuff before, and it helped get rid of all his problems, maybe only for a little while but they were still gone for a while. And then there was Bert, he kind of enjoyed the sex, but that's all it was, just sex. Meaningless sex. They didn't love each other, Bert didn't hold a candle to Frank. But what if Frank found out? It would destroy him, that's the only thing that made Gerard begin to hesitate. Stupidly he shrugged the feeling off and started organising the powder to use. Hopefully, Bert would keep it a secret, at least that's what Gerard hoped.
7/27/13