Drawn to you

“That’s not answering the question,” he laughs, Rolling my eyes, I return his laugh “You know I think you’re hot Aaron. You’re the man I got myself into a hell of a lot of trouble over Although, it’s lucky I refused to name you. I just called you ‘my boyfriend’, otherwise dad might have hunted you down and then pulled me out of school altogether.”I remind him, referring to the reason we were forced to break up but I have always had feelings for Aaron it was like we was perfect for each other
“The whole thing was a bit of an overreaction I thought, but hey – you’re almost eighteen. Freedom is on the horizon,” he affirms, opening the car door before I hop inside “He was just scared that I was going to end up like Craig,” I comment, defending my father. The loss of my brother is something my family felt intensely and as much as I’ve wished for my freedom, I’ve always understood my father’s motives

When Craig was fifteen, he started rebelling against my dad. Being raised by an Aikido sensei meant that discipline and respect were a huge focus in our household, and as Craig got older, he felt that my father’s rules were too restrictive then he started sneaking out with his friends. I don’t know exactly what they did – I was only twelve at the time – but I do know that he changed a lot in that last year. He was belligerent, and at times incredibly hateful toward my parents, and was always preaching to me about how the other kids are allowed to have fun and we should be able to as well. I guess I admired him for standing up to my parents, which is why I never told them that he was climbing out of his window every night. Each night, when I went to bed, I would pull up my blinds and sit there, waiting until I saw him go. He always knew I was there, and would turn around grinning at me, pressing his index finger to his lips to remind me to keep quiet. I would wave him off, and go to bed, trying to imagine all the fun he’d be having out there with his friends. In my mind, it was all parties and fun times – and I guess, based on how he died, it probably was.

occasionally, he’d bring something back for me – a shiny stone, a fag- just silly things that he obviously came across while he was out having fun. He’d slide them to me surreptitiously at breakfast with a wink when no one else was looking, and I treasured each one like he’d given me a star from the sky. I waved goodbye to my brother for the final time that night, and I’ll never forget that last grin as he ran toward his freedom, he didn’t even place his finger to his lips to remind me, he just smiled and ran into the night.
When I woke the next morning, it wasn’t to my brother, sitting at the breakfast table and the hope of a treasure. It was to my parents sitting on the couch, holding each other and crying as a police officer explained to them what had happened, I stood by and listened as the officer spoke, saying that my brother and his friends had gone down to the river, drinking and messing about as teenagers are wont to do. At some point, my brother separated from the group and fell into the rushing water, and due to his inebriated state, he didn’t make it out alive.

Eventually, I felt so guilty that I broke down and told them that I knew he was leaving. As a result, it was deemed that I couldn’t be trusted and my life became school, home and study. Of course, as I got older, I started to rebel too. I guess I followed in my brothers footsteps a little too closely, because when my father caught me sneaking out my bedroom window, he immediately nailed it shut and after interrogating me about why I was sneaking out and who I was going to see, he forbade me to date and kept even closer tabs on my whereabouts. So, the countdown began. I decided that the moment I turned eighteen, I was moving out and having a life of my own – I can’t live with all that fear anymore. I miss Craig too. I just can’t mourn him forever and I know that’s what he would have wanted he’d want me to be free,
“Let’s go and get your life back by finding you some place to live,” Aaron announces as he starts the car,
“Good idea,” I say smiling, knowing that wherever my brother is right now, he’d be smiling too.
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Aaron’s and my version of looking at share houses, involved going to the uni and taking numbers off the various flyers posted on notice boards, then making phone calls while we sat at the café, drinking and eating our weight in coffee and blueberry muffins.
"frank I have two friends who wants a room mate if your up for it"Aaron starts the car
"I hope they am not like Michael Myers and kill me"I gasp at the thought 'even though I wouldn't be scared
"shut up dildo, no they am really nice"Aaron parks infront of his flat 'be calm frank no swearing'
"come on shorty"Aaron laughs jumping out the car and jogging up to the door
"hey guys this is frank"I looked up to see a tall guy standing by the door smiling at me
"hi frank I'm Anthony"he smirked hugging me 'woah overload on cuteness'
"heyy and you must be Elliott"I winked at the little on next to him with all the piercings
"sure thing shall we look around the house"he asked I looked at Aaron and smiled
"come on then let's go"I smirked walking into the house
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The flat was stunning, you could tell it was a male household I really like the boys so I told them next week after my birthday I will come and move my stuff in. Aaron dropped me off back at mine and dad so wants me to do a Aikido lesson to show them my moves 'even though I'm rusty'
"frank you ready come to the gym we am all waiting"dad snapped and hung up 'fuck' I quickly put some joggers on and a vest I grabbed my phone and ran up to the gym what was only ten minutes away

"finally"I whispered opening the doors to see my dad talking to some guys that's when my eyes latched onto some gorgeous heart melting green ones 'shit' I got closer to be facing Gerard
"nice to see you here Frankie"he smirked 'this is going to be great'

Notes