Drawn to you

“What are your plans today?” Gerard asks, as he pulls up in front of my house.
“Well, I had planned to spend the day in your bed with you. But…” I shrug, lowering my lashes as I turn my head to the side.
“Frank,” he croons, his voice rolling through me like a favourite song. “That’s not possible.”
“I know… work, right?”
“Yes.”
Sighing, I move to unclip my seatbelt, although I’m stopped when his hand clasps over the top of mine.
“What are your plans?” he repeats.
“I’ll probably just hang out here and study, I suppose.”
“Alright. Make sure you have your phone with you. I’m going to call you later.”
“Of course,” I whisper, glancing down at his hand, still covering mine.
He lifts my hand up to his mouth, pressing it to his lips, inhaling deeply. “Wait there,” he tells me, getting out of the car.
He walks around the car and opens the back door, removing my bag, before opening my door and reaching over me to unclick my belt.
Taking my hand again, he helps me out of the car, pausing for a moment to kiss me gently, tenderly.
He then leads me to the front door, digging into my bag for my keys. “This is nice,” he says, turning the oval shaped key ring over in his hands as he reads the inscription. “Was it a gift?”
“It was,” I tell him, not really wanting to admit who it’s from.
He looks at it for a moment longer, before unlocking the door for me and pushing it open. “I’ll call you. Ok?” he reminds me.
“I’ll be waiting,” I tell him, rising up on my tiptoes to plant a kiss on the end of his nose.
Immediately, his hands slide around my waist and he pulls me close to him, burying his face in my hair.
“Not that I’m complaining. But, don’t you have to work?”
Groaning, he releases me, kissing me one last time before leaving me to head back to his car.
“I’ll call you,” he says again.
“Ok,” I laugh, standing at the door and watching him until he has driven out of sight.
“Someone seems very happy with himself,” Elliott says as I shut the door behind me. I can’t seem to stop smiling. “Have a good night?”
“I did. The best.” I grin, moving toward the couch where he's sitting. “Oh, hello,” I say as Aaron, who’s sitting on the opposite couch comes into view. Suddenly I feel like I’ve been caught out, as if what I just did with Gerard was wrong.
“Hey. Can we talk?” Aaron asks, rising from his seat.
“Sure,” I say, a nervousness flitting through my stomach as I take him outside to sit in our small courtyard.
“I tried to call you last night because I wasn’t going to make it back here for that party, but I couldn’t get through.”
“Sorry, I…”
“I know – you decided to go to the city. Elliott told me when I dropped around this morning to apologise for standing you up.”
“Aaron. I’m sorry. I was supposed to text you while we were on the train.”
“No big deal I guess. In a way, we stood each other up.”
An awkwardness settles between us as we sit in the sun of the late morning, listening to the birds chirping around us. My eyes drift over to Aaron, my friend, and a man who holds a sizeable chunk of my heart, as the sun lights his features, glowing off his light hair.
He wears a pair of khaki cargo shorts, and a white t-shirt, displaying a black and white image of a skull in a moon, with a pirate ship in the foreground. Crossing one leg over the other, ankle to knee, he lets out his breath before returning his gaze to me.
“I know you were at Gerard’s, Frank,” he states.
I freeze. Not sure what it is I should say to him.
“Jeremy saw you get home with him.”
“Oh…” My chest seems to clench as my head starts to ache. I don’t want to hurt Aaron. I couldn’t bear it if he exited my life. He means too much to me.
“Are you… seeing him now?” he asks, although I’m pretty sure he’d rather it if he never knew.
“Uh… yeah… I am. I’m sorry Aaron. I know you thought…”
“That you and I would finally have a chance? Yeah, I did. But it looks like I’ve lost out to him yet again,” he states.
“What do you mean?”
“You know Bec? That girl we saw him with when I moved in. She and I dated for a while during first year and well… Gerard decided he wanted her. Some guys just take what they want, while the rest of us are left standing there wondering what the hell just happened.”
“Did they start dating?” I ask, wondering if once again, Gerard has misled me.
“No,” he says, shaking his head as he creases his brow. “Gerard doesn’t date. They seemed to become fuck buddies. She really changed though, became a little promiscuous. I don’t know… she wasn’t like that before. There’s just something about that guy. He ruins people.”
“I don’t think he means to.”
“Just be careful Frank. I’ve never known him to have a girlfriend. It’s just a whole string of women whom he uses and moves on from. I can’t tell you how many of them I’ve found crying in the hallway because he won’t see them anymore.” He shakes his head. “I just don’t get why women or men like him so much. I mean, he just seems like such a jerk.”
“He’s just… different,” I try to explain. Although at the same time, I feel that doubt creep back inside my soul as I worry that Gerard isn’t being honest with me – that ultimately, he’s just going to move on to the next pretty girl who turns his head.
“You don’t need to explain, Frank. It’s the story of my life. Maybe I should start being the bad guy for a change.”
“No Aaron. You don’t have a mean bone in your body. Don’t talk like that.”
He shrugs a little and looks the other way, squinting into the sun.
“Are you angry with me?” I ask after a while, worried about our friendship.
“No. Never. We’ll always be friends Frank.”
“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you say that,” I breathe. We sit together quietly for a moment longer, neither of us really knowing what to say.
“Well,” he starts, breaking the silence. “I did come around here feeling guilty, prepared to take you to a movie to apologise… it’s still on the table is you want to go with me? I just don’t feel bad anymore so… I reckon you should buy the ice creams.”
Laughing, I nod, relieved that he isn’t going to let my dating Gerard get in the way of what we have. “Yeah, I think I can handle that.”

“So have you done much about that research assignment? I’ve got all these papers to read through, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with them all,” Aaron tells me, as we leave the movie theatre.
“No, I’ve been so caught up with my birthday, and the move that I haven’t done much at all.”
“You want to come and go through my stuff? It might give you some ideas on what you want to do,” he suggests.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that actually,” I respond, climbing into the passenger seat of his Lancer.
For a moment I just sit there, wondering what the pinging noise is when he puts the key in the ignition. “You need to do your seatbelt up,” he reminds me.
“Oh!” I exclaim, laughing at myself inwardly – how easy it is to get used to having someone do things for you. Once we reach his apartment block, I can’t help but notice the music coming from Gerard’s place. I know that he’s working, so I do my best to keep myself from knocking on the door. But I really want to see what’s going on in there.
“That was playing when I left too,” Aaron says as he slides the key into his door.
My eyes stray toward it, wishing I had x-ray vision.
“Do you know exactly what he does?” I ask, remembering the earlier conversation we had.
“I only know the rumours, and what I see,” he tells me as he pushes the door open.
“What do you see?” I ask, following him in.
“Lots of women Frank. Lots of women.”
“He said the rumours aren’t true. They’re not paying him to sleep with them. He does their portraits.”
“And you believe him?”
“Yes, I do.”
He looks at me for a moment, studying my face. “It’s your life Frank. I can’t tell you how to live it, or who you can see. But you know I don’t think Gerard is a good guy.”
Shifting uncomfortably on my feet, I look over his shoulder to anywhere in the room but at him. “How about you show me those papers?” I suggest, in an obvious subject change.
He stands in front of me for a moment longer, before conceding. “They’re in the filing cabinet in my room,” he tells me, his speech more like a sigh of disappointment than an actual sentence.
I follow him down the hallway towards his room and stand in the doorway as he rummages through the beige metal filing cabinet, muttering to himself about where he put them all.
“Aha! Here you go,” he says, handing me a three-inch-thick manila folder. “That’s everything I have. You can borrow it for the weekend if you like.”
Flicking through the folder, I note that the papers cover a wide range of advertising principles. Some question morals in advertising, while others talk about the use of subliminal messages. “Wow, you’ve really pulled a lot of different topics,” I comment.
“Yeah, I just have no idea which area to focus on,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as he wrestles the drawer closed.
“Thank you Aaron,” I say, as I continue to peruse their contents. “I really appreciate this. You’ve always been so wonderful to me.”
Pressing his lips together in a tight smile as he nods his head, placing his hands on his hips. “It’s no trouble Frank. Just know that I’m always here for you. Okay?”
I nod, closing the folder as a feeling of warmth blooms inside me for this man, who has been a great friend to me for so long. I understand the disappointment he must be feeling right now. I mean, the only reason we broke up was because of my father’s rules. I also know, that if Gerard hadn’t entered the picture, Aaron and I would most likely be dating again.
Stepping toward him, I wrap my arms around him briefly. “I know, Aaron and thank you. I’d hate to think of my life without you.”
“Not going to happen,” he promises, returning my embrace.
“I’d better get going,” I inform him, pulling away. “I’ve obviously got a lot of reading to do.” I wave the folder, gently from side to side to demonstrate.
“You don’t want me to drive you?” he says.
“No, it’s only a short walk, and it’s a nice day,” I point out. “Thanks for the movie too. It was fun.” With a promise to meet up for lunch or another pool competition soon, I bid him farewell and thank him again for his help.
Making my way into the hallway, I can once again hear the music. It’s not some heavy metal rock beat - it’s jazz. It’s the kind of music that makes you want to move your body. Standing outside his door, curiosity gets the better of me, and I press my ear to the wood and listen.
I can hear his voice, soft and coaxing as it says, “Open them for me. That’s it. Good girl. Now show me how you touch yourself.”
Sucking in my breath, I jump back from the door, sure that I must’ve heard wrong. With shaky breath, I lean in again, just as I start to hear a woman moan.
All of a sudden, my world stops. That fucking bastard! And to think, I almost thought I was falling in love with him.
With anger pumping my blood around my body, I drop my bag and the folder where I’m standing then throw myself at the door, banging on it with my fists.
“Let me in, you fucker!” I scream. As I take another breath, the door bursts open, and Gerard stands before me, his eyes wide and his brow furrowed.
“What the hell are you doing?” he growls.
“Putting a stop to whatever the hell is going on in here,” I yell, pushing past him and into the living area.
That’s when I see Bec, standing in the middle of the room, nothing but a swathe of burgundy fabric covering her body.
“What’s going on?” she asks Gerard, an edge of panic to her voice as her eyes dart from him to me.
“Get out!” I screech. It’s like that satiny fabric is the red flag, and I’m the bull. I don’t know what comes over me, but I charge her, screaming like some sort of guard as I grab her by the hair and drag her out, kicking and screaming about her clothes and her bag.
Depositing her in the hallway, I return to the apartment, spot her things and throw them out on the floor next to her.
“Gerard!” she shrieks, her eyes wide as she looks to him for help.
“Stay the fuck away from him,” I growl at her. It’s then that I notice Aaron has stepped out into the hall.
“Frank?” he says quietly, looking as though he can’t really believe his eyes.
“Just… don’t,” I say, holding my hand up to him as I pick my bag up and gather the papers I dropped.
“he’s a fucking pyscho!” Bec yells, scrambling to stand up and keep herself covered.
“And you’re a fucking whore!” I shout back, completely enraged at what I just heard and witnessed. I don’t care if that’s how he makes money. I don’t care. I can’t handle this.
“Franklin,” Gerard warns, reaching down to take the papers from my hands.
“Don’t touch me!” I yell, throwing the papers about the hallway as I push to standing. “I heard her moaning Gerard. Moaning! And I heard you asking her to–” My voice catches in my throat and I need to take a breath to calm down before I can speak again. “Don’t call me. Don’t fucking come near me – we’re done!”
Turning on my heels, I rush out of there. I’m hanging by a thread and need to get home before I lose it entirely in front of everyone.
I run the whole way home, the fight to keep my tears at bay, causes my chest to ache and my eyes to burn. I find myself fumbling with the lock on our front door as I try to get inside. Into the sanctuary of my room.
“Frank? Are you alright?” Anthony asks me through my locked door.
“I…I’m fine,” I choke out between sobs.
“Do you need to talk? Are you upset?”
“No. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day,” I lie.
For a moment, he doesn’t respond, and I wonder if he’s going to call me on my fib. “Ok, well we’re just about to head out. Do you need anything at the shops?” he asks.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks,” I call back, as cheery as possible, relieved when I hear him move away, so I can rebury my face in my pillow.
After a good hour of sobbing, my phone starts to sing from inside my bag. I know it’s Gerard.
Rising from the bed, I retrieve my phone and switch it off. I don’t want to hear his excuses – I heard enough this afternoon.
I do everything I can to try and keep busy, to try and stop myself from turning my phone back on to see if he’s still trying to call me. I try to be strong, focusing on what I heard and the fact that Aaron – the nicest guy I know – thinks Gerard is no good.
My resolve lasts maybe ten minutes before I’m powering my phone on again. The moment the screen loads, it bursts to life in my hand with Gerard’s name and number displayed on screen. I send him straight to voicemail and a moment later, a message comes through telling me I have fifteen messages.
With a shaking hand, I dial through to my message service.
The messages all follow a similar vein. They start off calm. “It’s me. We need to talk.”
Before becoming more demanding. “Answer the phone Franklin.” “Answer the phone!”
And then he becomes frustrated. “Fuck!”
“Shit,” I hiss, as I hear the last message. - “I’m coming over.”
As soon as I switch off the phone, I rush over to the window and look out, I can hear his car coming.
“Shit,” I hiss again, jumping back from the window, running my fingers through my hair as I try to decide what I want to do.

“Franklin?!” he calls from outside, banging on the door.
“Go away,” I call from the other side. “I don’t want to do this anymore Gerard.”
“You can’t back out now Franklin. This isn’t ending.”
“Yes it is. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. I heard you, and I heard her. I can’t…” I stop, my heart constricting in my chest as I remember the moans. “You said I could trust you. You said it was just portraits.”
“It is. Open the door.”
“Portraits don’t moan Gerard!” I sob.
“Franklin!” he yells, trying the door knob then slamming his body into the door. “Open the door or I’m going to break it!”
Stepping back, I cover my mouth, watching the door rattle with each thump. I don’t want to open the door, but god help me if my housemates come home to it broken in.
“Alright!” I screech, my breath catching as I turn the tumblers to unlock the door.
The moment it opens, he slams his body against mine. I don’t even get time to react before I’m pressed up against the wall, and his mouth finds mine, kissing me aggressively.
I push my body against him, my hands on his shoulders as I try to fight. But it’s Gerard, and the moment he’s in my headspace, I can’t seem to say no to him. Slowly, my body starts to relax and my hands curl into fists, gripping the fabric of his black t-shirt, as I attempt to pull him into me.
Small whimpers begin to escape my throat as his hand slides down to cup my buttocks, pulling me closer to him. His erection presses firmly into my hip, and I find myself rubbing against it.
“You are mine, and I am yours Frank. Don’t forget that,” he growls, as he grabs the waistband of my boxers and drags them down my legs.
With a swift movement, he has his arm under my thigh, lifting my leg as he frees his cock, deftly slamming it into me.
“Oh god!” I gasp, as he fills me, pumping his hips skilfully, driving his shaft back and forth, frantically inside me.
“You don’t get to end this,” he growls, thrusting into me forcefully, Gripping on to him, I moan, rolling my head back as I feel him pulse inside me.
Calming down, he kisses me softly then pulls out of me, moving his hand to cup between my legs.
“You’re the only one I do this with,” he whispers, as he pushes his fingers inside of me, “You’re the only one I think about. The only one I see.” His fingers circle my hole, causing me to pant, to whimper. “The only one I want. Come home with me. Stay with me. I want you by my side. I want you in my bed.”
Moaning, my body takes over my mind, clouding it with whatever pheromones Gerard produces.
“Do you want me, Frank” he asks, his voice warm and soft, like gentle fingertips, caressing my mind.
“I want you,” I gasp, rocking against his hand as his fingers move around my hole, sliding into my opening, then pulsing back again, over and over.
“Then why did you come to my apartment? I told you to stay away,” he growls, his fingers pumping faster as he adds another.
“I…I…” I gasp, unable to find my words while my body and mind are screaming with arousal.
“You said you would be here. Studying. I need to be able to trust you, Franklin. This thing won’t work without trust,” he whispers, his fingers pushing inside me, rubbing against that spot that makes my eyes roll back, and my body ready to explode. “Why were you at my apartment?”
“I was…I was…” I pant, as he adds another finger, filling me further. “Oh god!” I cry out, shuddering around his hand, struggling to stay standing.
Languidly, he continues to move his fingers inside me. “Tell me.”
“I was with Aaron,” I admit.
“What were you doing with him?”
“He had… oh god, I can’t think with you doing that,” I gasp
“What were you doing with him?” he repeats, ignoring my struggle as he pushes his hand in deeper.
Whimpering, I try my best to form an answer. “He had… some papers for me. I went and saw a movie with him.”
“Did he try to fuck you?” he asks, with an upward thrust.
“No. He’d never… it’s not like that with us…” I pant, my head feeling drunk as he removes his hand and starts to roll his fingers around my hole again.
“When you tell me your plans. I want your plans. They don’t change franklin. I need to know where you are,” he whispers, slipping his fingers into me once more. “Do you understand?”
“I… oh god… yes, I understand,” I gasp as his whole hand slips inside me, pressing firmly against my prostate Lowering his mouth to meet mine, I struggle to move my mouth against his. I’m so overwhelmed with the sensation of his hand moving inside me that I can’t even see straight. “Good boy” he whispers causing me to fall against him, exhausted.
Slowly, he removes his hand from between my legs, and bends down, scooping me up into his arms to carry me up the stairs. I lay limply against his chest, every ounce of my energy spent. I can’t even remember why I was upset anymore. It all seems so trivial. Being in his presence seems to make everything ok. When he’s near, I don’t care about anything else – just him, and what he does to me, body and mind.

Notes