Drawn to you

When I wake, it’s to the aroma of bacon frying and coffee brewing.
“What time is it?” I ask, after stumbling out into the living area, bleary eyed from sleeping so soundly. I find it strange as I’ve never been one to sleep anywhere but in my own bed.
“Almost eight,” Gerard informs me from where he’s standing at the stove, keeping a watchful eye on breakfast.
“Eight?! Shit, I’m moving today. I need to be home. We’re going there at ten,” I ramble, instantly awake and in a panic, knowing that my mum and dad will be up already and have probably been trying to call me. I race into the bathroom and pull on my sweatpants, running my fingers through my bangs to neaten it. It’s thick and heavy, so I very rarely wake up with it looking messy, but it doesn’t hurt to check.
“You’ve got plenty of time to eat,” he says.
“No, Gerard. I don’t. I have to go,” I argue.
“Sit. Twenty minutes isn’t going to kill you.”
I stand in the doorway of the bathroom, wondering if I should keep arguing as I watch him move back into the kitchen and lift the pan, taking it over to the table and sliding eggs, bacon, and some cooked mushrooms, tomato and spinach.
“Coffee?”
“Um… ok.” I give in. “White with one sugar. I’ll just use the bathroom properly,” I inform him, pointing toward the door.
“Of course.” He nods, working his way around the kitchen, pouring mugs of coffee and setting small glasses of juice on the table next to our plates.
Inside the bathroom, I perform my usual ablutions and double check my appearance before I go out to join Gerard at the table.
“Thank you for breakfast. It looks wonderful,” I say, as I lift my knife and fork, and dig in.
We eat in companionable silence for a while. I don’t know why, but I don’t feel the need to talk constantly while I’m near him. I just like to be in his presence. I find it calming – I guess it must be the same for him.
Eventually though, I look around the room, and my eyes land on his cork board.
“Why do you hide your drawings? I mean, aren’t you doing a fine arts degree or something?”
“No. Our university doesn’t offer a fine arts degree. I’m actually doing a Bachelor of Design, so most of my work is computer based. I still love to sketch though, and paint. But I do it for me. That’s why I don’t display them. It’s sort of like a journal I suppose."
“I’m sorry for looking at them,” I tell him.
“It’s ok,” he says, taking a mouthful of coffee.
“They are beautiful though. You’re very talented.”
He nods in quiet acceptance. I guess people have been praising his talent for a long time, so it must be a normal thing for him now. I take a mouthful of my coffee, watching him, just like he’s watching me.
My mind begins to sift through the snippets of information I have about him, raising questions that I feel fairly certain he won’t
“give me answers to. But I ask them anyway. “So, if you aren’t doing art – why was Bec modelling for you?”
“I do portraits. But it’s all digital. I mainly get commissioned by women, and sometimes couples. It’s kind of like what they do for book covers and movie posters but it’s for their own personal use.”
“Can I see some of your work?”
He drops his eyes as he places his coffee mug carefully on the table. “No.”
“Why? Are they naked?”
He smiles and shakes his head slightly. “They’re not mine to show.”
For the first time since coming here, I’m suddenly feeling uncomfortable. I want to know more about him, but he’s not making this easy.
“Did you know there’s a rumour about you and all those women you have over here?” He rubs his hands, back and forth over the top of his spikey hair. “I don’t tend to listen to rumours,” he glowers.
“Are they true though? Do these women pay you to… you know.”
“Who told you this shit? Aaron?”
“Yes.”
“Jesus,” he breathes, shaking his head from side to side before he picks up his unfinished plate and walks it over to the kitchen sink.
“It’s true though isn’t it? I mean, I saw you with that woman. That wasn’t just a portrait was it?” I ask, needing to know the answer.
“Why does it matter?”
“Because it does.”
With his back to me, gripping the edge of the sink, I can see the muscles in his forearms flex and relax, as the silence drags on without any answer to my question. It’s then that I realise it’s all true, and I wish I had just kept my mouth shut.
“I think I should go,” I whisper, pushing away from the table with the idea to go and get my bag.
“What do you want me to say Franklin? I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve had sex before. Is it really important that you know who it was with and why?”
“I don’t know. I just…” I stop speaking, standing in the centre of the room, not really knowing what it is a want to say. This is all so new to me.
“Can you just accept that since I met you, I haven’t been with anyone else?” he explains, moving toward me, reaching his hands around my waist, holding me to him.
“What about that woman I saw in here? What about Bec?” I argue, tears in my eyes as I push against his chest ineffectively. He’s like fucking kryptonite when he’s near me and suddenly I’m helpless against him as my hands rest against his chest, and my fingertips smooth over the soft cotton of his shirt.
“I don’t lie. I didn’t have sex with either of them. I promise you that.”
“I just don’t like the idea of you being in a room alone with a naked woman,or men” I whisper, resting my head on his shoulder, already giving in.
“It’s my job Franklin,” he explains, gliding his hand soothingly up and down my back. “If I don’t have that income, I won’t be able to afford this place. My course. My car. The fees to train with your father. It all costs money. I have two things that I’m great at – portraits and fighting. I can’t make a huge amount of money back alley fighting without getting busted by the cops. So I do portraits. The fact that they’re risqué is what keeps me in business. But I promise you, it will just be portraits – nothing else.”
“What if they don’t understand that? What if they think they can sleep with you?”
“Babe, I’m not a gigolo – it’s not like they were paying me for my sexual services. And I didn’t ‘sleep’ with any of them. You’re the only boy I’ve ever literally slept with and when you’re ready, you’ll be the only boy I ever make love to. I want you to be mine Franklin, and in return, I’ll be yours.”

Notes