Gerard’s POV

I woke up enveloped in Frank’s warmth. I didn’t want to wake him so I went to the kitchen to make myself coffee. I sat down on the couch and started thinking about how lucky I am to be with Frank, I seriously don’t deserve him. He thinks I’m getting better, but I’m not. Sometimes he catches me drinking and he looks kind of detached for the rest of the day, empty. I hate seeing him like that. Lately he barely cares about himself, rarely takes a shower and doesn’t care about what he wears. Now, when he smiles it doesn’t reach his eyes, even when he hugs me it doesn’t feel right anymore. It fucking kills me to know that I’m the reason for this. We need to take some time apart; I can’t do this to him anymore. But we can’t break up, I need him too much and it would tear me apart.

I just sat there sobbing my eyes out. I’m not good for him I don’t want to hurt him. I screamed and threw my mug at the wall. Not a minute later I heard Frank running up the stairs. “GEE WHAT’S WRONG WHAT HAPPENNED?!” he screamed at me. I pulled him into my arms and told him everything was fine, tears making their way down my face. “I love you okay? I love you, he said. Okay, now I’m really crying. “Baby, what’s wrong? You’re shaking my love.” he said. I pulled away from the hug and said “We need to take a break okay? I need to figure some things out. I’m hurting you and I can’t take it. It isn’t fair to you. I’m sorry.” I said, sobbing even harder. He looked like I stabbed him, right in the heart. “But I love you, I love you, I love you.” He said, but then he said something that made me want to stop living altogether. “But you don’t love me back do you? Because I fucking refuse to believe that your ‘love’ would be so fucking feeble that you’d want to ‘take a break’ after we’ve been through so much together. I love you with all I am and I know that will never change. But if you’re just gonna fuck with my feelings, please just don’t. I love okay, I really do. Please say you love me too?” he sounded so broken.

There’s nothing I could say to fix how much I just hurt him, in one conversation. “Just give me time.” I said. I walked away from him and all I could hear after that was choked sobs coming from the living room.

It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve never been worse. On the bright side, I’m completely sober, but I might as well be dead because that’s exactly how I feel. I refused to go to school and around the house I avoided him. I’m done thinking and I know how much I love him, but I don’t know what to say to him. What if he doesn’t take me back? I’m completely lost without him.
Frank’s POV

It’s been 3 weeks and we haven’t talked at all. He hasn’t been to school and I’m a fucking mess. Brendon and Ryan teased me all day, but when I was walking home it just got worse. They caught up with me and pushed me down, then kicked and punched me till I literally coughed up blood. They spat on me then left. I hobbled my way home and when Gerard opened the door fir me I collapsed in his arms. “I know you don’t want me anymore but please, I need you okay I won’t tell you I love you, you don’t even have to be my boyfriend but please don’t do this, don’t ignore me I need you so fucking much Gee.” I said, desperate for him to say something.

He pulled me into a bone crushing hug and started crying. “Frank, shut the fuck up please so I can talk. What happened to you, was it Brendon and Ryan, you know I’ll end them. I love you okay? Of course I’ll be your boyfriend and I’m so fucking sorry that I left you, that was really shitty of me. I love you more than anything and from now on I swear I’ll always be there to protect and care for you. If I ever try to leave again you have permission to kick me in the head. I love you so much.” He said.

We lay in bed for hours, kissing and talking until we fell asleep. It’s funny how the person you love with everything you are literally has the power to break you into pieces. I love him. I really, really do.

Notes

Hey :)