Rebecca's condition was a bit like a yo-yo. One day she would be throwing up every now and then, the next she has the energy of a thousand suns. Like I said, she was a fighter. She didn't let it get the best of her. As for me and Frank, we would either go to the park or movies or just dinner. I never invite him to my house because I know how mummy would react.

But one day, I decided to not care anymore because I just did not want to leave Rebecca at home alone anymore when I go out on dates with Frank.

“You don’t have to do this, Blair. I don’t want you to deal another ‘Martha Meltdown’”, Rebecca said.

“I want to do this. Frank and I have been going out, a lot. I want the three of us to watch movies together. We can even karaoke. Daddy updated the song lists. We can sing the songs from Grease”

Rebecca smiled.

“Can I invite Ezra and Peter too? I have not seen any of my friends in a while”, Rebecca asked.

“I have a better idea.. Why don’t we have a movie night with your friends? I can ask Beatrice to order food and I can go find popcorn maker for tonight. How would you like that?”

Rebecca’s face lit up and studied my face carefully. She wasn’t sure if I was kidding or being serious.

“Are you serious? That would cost.. A lot”, Rebecca replied.

“Stop worrying… You go call your friends, I will handle the rest okay?”, I told her.

Rebecca quickly ran into her room and started calling her friends and I called Frank. After twenty minutes, Frank arrived and he picked me up to hit the city.

After three hours, we came back with 5 bags of groceries for Rebecca’s movie night in. By the time we arrived, Rebecca was sitting in her room. I could see that she was crying.

“Babygirl, are you okay?”, I asked.

Rebecca pulled her t-shirt up to reveal red patches on her backs. Both of us knew what it was.
I quickly hugged Rebecca.

“You are going to get through this, Rebecca. You hear me? Waldorfs don’t just quit like that!”, I assured her.

Frank walked to us and hugged the two of us.

“Rebecca, I want you to know that you are one strong girl. You are not going anywhere. You are going to attend each of our concerts until you are going to say ‘Fuck My Chemical Romance, I have had enough of them’. Alright?”, Frank told her.

Rebecca started crying. At first, I tried to hold back my tears but who was I kidding, the moment I tried, my tears started to roll downhill.

“Frank..”, Rebecca called him.

“Yes sweetie”

“Please promise me one thing..”

“Anything, Becca”, Frank replied.

“Please make her happy when I am not around”, Rebecca told him in between her tears.

“I promise, Rebecca but I need you to be around too. You promise me that you are going to keep on fighting?”, Frank asked.

“I promise”

During the movie night, twelve or Rebecca friends turned up. Beatrice helped me to set up a concession counter. Frank and I sat at the back at the room so that we could have some privacy since most of her friends were drooling over him. I just wanted to have him for myself tonight.

“Sucks you are leaving in a couple of days”, I snuggled up to his chest.

“I know, baby. But I won’t be gone for long. I will come back in a month.”, Frank kissed my forehead.

I was quiet that night. One, I was scared for Rebecca. Two, I wasn’t sure about Frank. I wasn’t sure if I could handle distance, especially now.

“What’s on your mind, Blair?”, Frank asked. My train of thoughts just disappeared.

“Just things”, I answered back.

“Blair, I know we are quite new at this. Both of us haven’t been in a relationship for a while but at times, I feel like you are treating me like a stranger”, he told me.

“You keep on avoiding personal questions.. I want to be there for you Blair. I really do but you need to let me in”, Frank added.

I pulled the duvet off our body and ran outside. Frank was right. I was a closed book. I did not let him in and I treated him like a stranger sometimes.

I sat on the bench in my garden. Hugging my own body, the weather was chilly. I felt stupid running off without my cardigan.

“Pretty girl, I am sorry”, Frank said from my behind. I turned to him and cupped his face.

“I am not ready to lose anyone, Frank.”, I told him and linked my forehead with his.

I could feel his breathing on my lips. It looked like we are about to kiss but my thought was far from that and he knew it too.

“I am not going to force you to be with me but I need to know if you need me as much as I need you. I need to know if you are in this with me, Blair. Because it feels one-sided”, Frank pulled away.

I was frustrating him.

“So tell me.. What happens if Rebecca leaves and then you leave too?”, I asked him.

“That’s your god damn problem, Blair. You are always thinking of the negative.”, Frank raised his voice.

Frank realized how he acted and he quickly pulled my hand.

“I need you to let me in, Blair. Open that heart of yours. I don’t care about your sadness, I want to be there for it. I want to be there when you’re happy, I want to be there when you are sad”

I knew I was supposed to say something to make things better but nothing came out. Like usual, I bottled my thoughts and kept it far away in my brain cabinets and just let it rot there.

Before I could say anything.. Frank kissed my forehead and added, “But both you and I know that you are not going to let it happen”

Notes

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