I left New Jersey that morning without Frank, even though I made him promise to go with me, I decided to do it alone. It was supposed to be a half an hour drive from Frank's to the cemetery but it felt like forever.

When I finally arrived, I took baby steps to the entrance and bought three pink peony.

Here lies Rebecca J. Reynolds
A Daughter, Sister, Friend.
'I Lived'
I put the flowers on the headstone and sat beside her grave. There were fresh flowers, I assumed it was either from my parents or her friends. Like I said earlier, she was loved by many.

"Hey Becca... I am sorry for not visiting you since... Where do I start.. I haven't read your letter yet. I have been so scared to go back because.."

At this point, I could feel a huge lump in my throat. My tears were welling up.

"I still couldn't face the fact that you're gone. I need you here, Rebecca.. You were my bestfriend and I feel so lost."

I was about to say something else when I heard footsteps behind me. It was Mikey.

"Hey Mikey, what are you doing here?", I asked.

He was holding a bouquet of roses.

"Visiting Rebecca but I can come by later.", Mikey replied.

"Nonsense, you can stay here with me. You come here often?"

He nodded, "Yeah, my grandma's grave is somewhere here but this is my third time visiting Becca. She was special to all of us, B"

I smiled.. "I know. She was very special to all of us"

It was easier to talk to him than the others because unlike others, he didn't ask many questions or give me sympathetic look when he talks to me. Mikey and I talked for an hour about so many things. He left Rebecca out of the topic and he talked to me about the things he had to deal with when his grandmother died. Gerard took the hardest. He turned to drugs and booze but finally sobered up after he knew he was hitting rock bottom.

"You are a good person, Mikey Way"

"Keep on living, Blair.", Mikey smiled.

When I arrived home, everything looked almost the same. Only the gardener and Beatrice greeted me. The house was awfully quiet. Usually, Rebecca would turn on the television and dance her butt off in front of it.

I let out a heavy sigh and gathered all the courage that I had in me to go into Rebecca's room. Everything looked the same, nothing changed. It was like she was still living in the room. I took some of her drawings and soft toys into my room. I took out an envelope that Rebecca gave and carefully opened it.

"Here it goes", I said to myself.

Hey Blair,

By the time you are reading this, it means that I am gone. Just because I am gone, it doesn't mean that you should stop living because you still have a lot of things to do and a lot of people to love. Don't waste your time mourning and grieving over something (someone) that's gone. You helped me to live life when I felt like dying so it is my turn to make sure you do the same. Don't worry about me, Blair. I had a wonderful life. I had a beautiful family and supportive friends and you do too. Maybe things are not going to be the same but it will be better. Frank came into your life for a reason. He came when I was slowly leaving so I need you to stop torturing yourself and be happy. I know you feel like you're forgetting me but the closer you are to loving someone is the closer you are to me. Love with all your heart, I am there. I am not going anywhere. I love you, Blair. Keep living.