Come, Angels of Unknown

I woke up due to my alarm buzzing off, reminding me it would be convenient to get out of bed and drag myself to work. It seemed like a regular morning, the routine and all- get up, crack my ankles, fuck up my ligaments a little and have coffee. It was kind of hot, unlike the past few days which had been warm - but not warm enough to make me wish to grow transparent skin and gills, so I could live under cold water. I managed to drag myself in the bathroom without stumbling, my headache being so painful it spun my head around, making me feel dizzy. I splashed my face with water, cleaning off the sweat stuck to my skin and finally brushing my teeth afterwards. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, taking in the familiar scene - black hair, soft features, narrow shoulders. I felt different about myself this morning, I somehow enjoyed the view of myself a little more even though nothing significant changed. I just felt more comfortable with what I saw, and that made the beginning of the day much better for me.

I made my way into the kitchen, almost tripping over the cat and remembering I needed to clean his food bowl today. Mikey wasn’t up yet, which meant I had to make more coffee than just for myself. I really wasn’t in the mood for digging around the cupboards looking for a kettle, so I just yanked two mugs filled with milk into the microwave. When the alarm went off, I took them out and made the coffee. I decided against sipping my own while still hot and went to bring Mikey’s over into his room.

“Morning,” I said quietly, realizing he was already awake when I entered the room. He was just in the middle of rubbing his eyes and stretching out on the bed, so I left his cup on his end table.

“Morning,” he said after a short delay. I smirked and left the room, leaving his door opened knowing he would have to get up now, because he hated it when someone would leave the room and wouldn’t close the door. I went into the kitchen again, leaning against the counter with the coffee mug in my right hand, sipping on my addiction and waiting for Mikey to come groaning in annoyance for me doing this to him again.

“Why, oh, why?” And right on the note, he was sitting at the table, glaring at me.

“Because it’s seven and I don’t have to be at work until eight, so I’m bored,” I simply said.

“Why do I even live with you?” Mikey groaned, and all I did was roll my eyes before taking my time to respond.

“Well, if you want to go back to mom’s, feel free to,” I said, my words hurting a bit. Not hurting him, hurting me, since our reasons for cutting all contact with mother weren’t the same. He was here because she didn’t want him to pursue his dreams, and I was here because I failed to pursue mine.

“Don’t even think about that,” Mikey shrugged evidently, making me release the breath I didn’t know I was holding. I didn’t know what I would do without him around; I would probably die out of sheer loneliness and boredom. I didn’t even realize how much a certain simple joke could make my nerves work up.

“So, what about that Frank guy?” Mikey asked after a few moments of silence.

Frank. I hadn’t thought about him since last night, even though I was pretty sure he appeared in the dream I had. I remembered that he’d gave me his number and that immediately made me want to smile.

“We exchanged numbers yesterday,” I said after a pause of about twenty seconds.

“Do you think he likes you?”

“Well, why would that matter if I didn’t like him back?” I questioned, getting a bit nervous.

“Well, you do like him,” Mikey smirked. “That much is obvious.”

“Obvious to you,” I smirked dreamily while taking another sip from my mug, staring somewhere in the distance.

“Well, I guess,” he smiled. “I mean, I like to believe I know you better than most people.”

“True,” I nodded. He was right, though, about most things about me. That’s what I liked about him most. Mikey was quiet, but very observant and careful, paying attention to details and always one step ahead of everyone. Really smart, that one, even though it was quite uncomfortable to admit the fact that his older brother haven’t had the same trait.

“Well, then, what’s he like?”

“Cute,” I immediately replied. “Innocent. I’d dare to say happy, if I knew worse than I do.”

“How do you mean?” Mikey seemed confused.

“Well,” I wasn’t really clear with myself over that one, either. “I know something is bugging him, something big. I just hope he’s going to trust me enough to open up, I guess.”

“How old is he?”

“Nineteen in October,” I reluctantly said, sighing. Mikey looked suspicious for a moment.

“Four years apart,” he calculated. “Not so bad.”

“Yeah,” I smirked. “I guess so.”

He smiled and nodded. When I finished my coffee, I went into my room to get changed, noticing that I’d almost left my phone on my bed. I picked it up and looked at the time, seeing it was seven thirty, and shoved it into my jeans pocket. I knew I had plenty of time, but I put my sneakers on and grabbed my keys anyway. I liked coming to work early, the atmosphere of the empty record store relaxed me. The smell of old vinyls from the back, colorful designs of album covers at the front, where the CDs were, and simply the sole comfort of the whole music industry displayed right in front of me, allowing me to choose the music by my mood.

I said goodbye to Mikey and walked out of the building, sighing at the light morning heat that enveloped my exposed face and forearms. It was somehow nice in the early morning- it wasn’t too hot, but almost; even though I was always a bigger fan of the cold. It makes it easier to hide, when you’re wearing a coat and a scarf, instead of a simple t-shirt.

Puddles were all around the place, but they only made it look and smell more earthy, like soil after rain. I liked the smell, it reminded me of my childhood, when everything was marked with orange sunsets and rainy summer afternoons, always leaving the nature richer than it was a before the rain would start. I liked to think of it as a rebirth process, something that was always there.
I got to the store in five minutes, fiddled with the lock since the key managed to get stuck again, and finally opened the door. It was cool in the store; the heat hadn’t arrived inside it quite yet. I went at the back, not even thinking about what I would play because I knew what a reasonably good mood required. Now, when I thought about it, I hadn’t listened to Smashing Pumpkins in years, I believed. And there I was, prancing around to “Plume”, like it was my everyday jam. Billy Corgan once said that music is one’s guide, and I’d sometimes highly doubted that. But now, it felt like it could be true, because as simple as it may sound – I wouldn’t even realize how good I felt without putting that song on.
“My boredom has outshined the sun, it’s all down low, I just want to have some little fun,” I sang while wiping the dust off the biographies’ shelf, not even paying attention to the sound of the lock clicking and the door opening.

“Are you singing?” Katie’s voice sounded and I immediately stopped, right on reflex.

“Yeah,” I coughed. “I guess I am.”

“Well, you’re either high, wasted or in love.” She smirked and went at the back. I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes, simply because she was wrong in all her assumptions. I definitely wasn’t high, I’d been avoiding that state for years; I wasn’t wasted, I couldn’t really afford non-crappy booze anyway and I didn’t have friends who I could go out with - where’s the fun in drinking alone?

Love? I didn’t believe I was one of those people who were able to fall in love.

“Nah,” I sighed. “I’m simply in a good mood.”

“Oh?” She went over behind the counter. “Who are you and what have you done with Gerard, the cranky asshole who is always at the verve of depression?”

I rolled my eyes again, chuckling a bit at her description of me. I knew it wasn’t the most common thing for me to be in a good mood, so I understood her ‘concern’.

“It’s just that,” I tried to explain, “it’s one of those days when you feel like you can hug the world.”

“Anything special happened yesterday?” She quirked an eyebrow when I came to the front. “Oh my god. Did you get laid, fucker?”
I started hysterically laughing. It had been awhile, I had to admit that, but that didn’t stop me from laughing my ass off right in front of her confused face.

“What?”

“You just asked me if I had sex,” I rubbed my eyes, tears already prickling in the corners.

“Yeah? Y’ know, I’ve always wondered how that shit works. You know, how you figure out who’s the top, and who’s the bottom and stuff.” She looked at me and I couldn’t help it- I cracked up again.

“I didn’t get laid, no,” I admitted.

“Well, could you explain the system to me?” She asked with a grin, and I immediately felt a bit embarrassed. Well, it wasn’t like I was uncomfortable about talking in theory, it was practice I was worried about; meaning- it was possible she would ask for my experience, and I really wasn’t a person who easily shared that sort of information about myself.

“Well, basically, it all depends,” I started talking, a bit uneasily. “It doesn’t even matter, actually, just the thing you enjoy more? I guess? Some people switch, some don’t… Oh god,” I rubbed my forehead in search for sweat, finding it and wiping it from my skin. Talking about sex is obviously stressful. I wouldn’t have known, I wasn’t really used to talking about it.

Katie obviously realized that. “Sorry for being this weird, it’s just one of those things you want to ask someone, but you never have the guts.” She smiled apologetically.

I waved my hand around. “It’s fine,” I bet my face was telling the opposite, I could literally feel the blush crawling up my cheeks. “I’m just not used to talking about it. I’ve been single for so long anyway…”

“Oh my god, sorry. I mean, not sorry if it’s because you don’t want to get-“

“Please,” I interrupted her, shooting her an awkward look. “Let it go, yeah?”

“Sorry.” She gave me another smile full of guilt, which reminded me of the one Frank had treated me with a few times yesterday.

Frank. I leaned against the counter, sighing quietly. There was something about that boy, something that made me wonder if he was even real. The way he talked, smiled, walked… it just seemed so natural, so real, I just didn’t know how he managed to be so… true? Yes, true. Everything about him was-
No. It wasn’t, not everything. The gleam in his eyes was faked. I was positive of it, and I really wanted to find out why. I would sometimes feel like such a creep for wanting to know him, it was so weird for me to be worked up about someone so much.

“Gerard?” Something touched my shoulder, making me jump in startle. I turned around to find Katie staring at me.

“Yeah?” I scratched the back of my neck, not sure of what I’d missed.

“I asked if you could help me with these.” She raised her eyebrows, then shot a glance at a box with ‘STATIC AGE’ written on it in messy handwriting.

“Oh, sure, sorry.” He walked behind the counter and stood next to her while she was ripping the seal off and getting the bubble wrap out of the box. She handed me a dozen of CDs, all the same, and I carried them to the horror punk shelf.

“Hey, Katie, could you do me a favor?” I remembered something.

“What is it?”

“Save one of these for me, yeah?”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks,” I smiled at her and helped her out with the rest of the CDs.

“May I know why you want to save it?”

“My brother really loves The Misfits, and this is the only CD he’s lacking,” I said genuinely. Mikey practically aced his freshman year in college, this was the least I could do for him.

“You’re a really good brother, Jeff would never do that for me!” She said, making me remember Jeff, Katie’s brother from our few encounters over the time I’d spent working here. He was a tall, ripped guy with a lot of tattoos, always in a good mood. He was in some music industry business, a sound guy, maybe? I didn’t remember. But he’d came to the store numerous times.

“I’m not really,” I admitted, “I’m just trying to be.”

“That makes you one,” she smiled.

“Thanks, Katie,” I said contently.

“Anytime.”

I checked the time when I finished putting the CDs in order.

“Break?” I looked at her. She nodded and I followed her to the staff room, almost producing noises because I was five minutes away from coffee.

“So, what’s new in your life?” I asked, just for the sake of casual conversation, while heating the milk.

“Well, I’m getting married, for starts.”

“Holy fuck, congratulations!” I gasped, still not quite sure why I was so glad about that.

“Thanks,” she smiled. “You’re invited.”

“I am?” That weirded me out even more, but yes, I was glad for her, no matter how bizarre that sounded.

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re my friend.”

“I am?” Now I was really confused. Well, confusedly-ecstatic. Friend? Huge title, in my book.

“Yeah,” she smirked and took another sip of her Sprite.

“When’s the wedding?”

“Well, we have nothing big in plan, so, around August 1st.”

“Holy crap, that’s soon!” I managed to exclaim while I was making my coffee.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “As I said, nothing big.”

“Well, I’ll be happy to come,” I said genuinely, a bit afraid of myself. Basically, Katie had just invited me to attend a huge social event and I said yes? Well, I guess it’d been time for a change in personality or something. Or I was just plain happy that day and I’d regret everything I’d said or done as soon as I’d get to my usual self. Yeah, probably.

“You can bring a date if you want to,” she said, wearing a devious smirk.

I took a sip from my mug, now furrowing my brow and sighing loudly. “I highly doubt that.”

“Never say never.” She smiled.

I left the store at around two fifteen, a bit later than usual since I needed to finish restacking some shelves. As I was walking home, I internally cursed all over myself and my fondness of wearing black clothes even in the middle of summer. I was sweating all over, and the ten minutes it took me to get home almost cost me my lungs. When I managed to drag myself into the apartment, I noticed Mikey wasn’t home. I texted him asking when he’d get home, just to know if I should make lunch for him, too. He replied shortly after, informing me he was at Melissa’s and that he would be home by nine.

I sighed loudly as I was peeling my clothes off, somehow grateful for being able to spend the afternoon by myself. Then I remembered another way to spend it, and I quickly put my sweatpants on and fetched my phone from my jeans’ pocket. I typed the text and clicked ‘send’ before I managed to talk myself out of it, releasing the breath I didn’t know I was holding. I sniffed loudly before my phone buzzed, realizing I was standing in the middle of my room with my phone in my hands, waiting for Frank to reply to my text.

‘A raincheck sounds great! Starbucks? x’

I smiled at the ‘x’ like a little girl.

‘Shit, I’ve just come home, tired as f. You can come over, if you want’

And once again, I released the breath, this time knowing I was holding it. I rubbed my eyes with my palms, trying to calm down even though I had no idea what I was worked up about.

‘I’ll be there in 20 xx’

I smiled again, realizing there are two ‘x’s and mentally facepalming myself because I'd come to a realization I was a total idiot.

Notes

Okay, first of: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SORRY I AM.

I'll try to make my updates regular, I swear to Marvel. I'll make up a schedule, or something, I promise.

In my defense; I didn't know what I would write about, honestly. But last night I stayed up until, like, 5, wrote this chapter and wrote a storyline[good job, Milo, good job]. So, now I know what I have to write about. *applause*

The next chapter will be longer and more interesting - another promise. Sorry.