Cancer

It was close to the 3am mark when I heard him shuffling in the cot behind me, I could hear his agitated grunts as he tried to get comfortable despite the tubes sticking out from his arm and hand, after some time I eventually turned over to check on him, when I did I was met with his intense gaze, as our eyes met each other his face crumpled as a pained expression crossed his features, turning his mouth into something of a grimace.
'I remember' he whispered softly ' I had been on the phone to my brother Mikey, we were having an argument, he was shouting at me, I had had a really bad week, and I could feel my depression starting to flitter back into my subconscious thoughts again, I just wanted a way to end it, the tree was there, it was enticing me over, so I put my car in gear slammed down on the accelerator and ploughed into it...' he paused revisiting the memory, 'I must of been going 80mph, how am I still alive?! Why am I still alive?! I just wanted to end it!' at this his broad shoulders folded in on themselves as his body was racked with sobs which he struggled to keep quiet on the ward of patients and bleeping monitors.
I just stared at him, the staff had thought it an accident but in reality it was a suicide attempt.
Due to being in hospital I have not had to develop an empathetic side, however I used to comfort the small children who were scared of death on the cancer ward, so I stretched out my hand across the gap and placed it tenderly on Gerards shoulder to steady his breaths.
Gerard jumped at the sudden touch but did not pull away, instead he just looked at me, his haunted eyes filling my vision, but yet I could not look away.
When he had steadied his breaths I lifted my hand to pull it away, but before I could he placed his open palm onto my forearm and stopped me in mid air 'thank you Stephen' he said then he allowed me to bring my arm back to the comfort of being at my side.
After this he swiftly moved the conversation onto me and started to question me about myself. It was easy to talk to him, at one point I'm pretty sure my brain slipped out of my mouth as I revealed every thing about me and my illness, my worries, my family, the kids on the ward, my escape attempt and my fears about my inevitably painful death.
I have decided that in an hour and a bit I had told Gerard more about me and the way my brain works than my psychologists had gotten from me in 11 years.
When I thought about this I felt immense guilt at unveiling a whole load of another persons misery onto one man who was obviously suicidal, however as I was plagued by these thoughts I noticed that he only smiled, and It was a warm smile, one that heated even the depths of his black pupils and caused the skin at the side of his eyes to crinkle. He looked into my eyes and said something which I will never be able to forget.
'Stephen' he began 'you are a beautiful person, and even though you face impossible challenges, you pull through still with positivity as you hide the bad stuff, for that I admire your strength, and I doubt anything could remove the light behind your eyes.'
At this I could feel my resistance to cry begin to fail so I faked a yawn to pretend I was tired, said my goodnight, and rolled over to force my brittle body into a ball of warmth where I eventually let a few tears fall until I fell asleep.

Notes

HIYA! Hope you guys like this :) The rest of the band members will be getting introduced further on in the story, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter cause the amount of times I had to rewrite it due to my laptop freaking out is ridiculous :P
so yeh thank you :)
KILLJOYS MAKE SOME NOISE