You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison

**Gerard POV**

I was used to it, being alone with my thoughts. I guess I just couldn’t handle roommates, I mean Mikey and Frank haven’t even been here for a full twenty-four hours and here I am, encased in the four concrete walls of Solitary Confinement and alone again.

I thought back to this morning. All I wanted was some breakfast, but of course the lunch ‘ladies’ were just as bitchy as ever. They never got over me saying that their food was crap the day that they burned the pizza. None of them could cook anyway; they only did it so they could get time shaved off their sentence. I rolled my eyes as the oatmeal fell all over my tray. They didn’t even bother giving me some juice, now that was just cruel. Maybe I’ll apologize one day… Maybe.

And then Mikey, he just blew up. Exploded in a fiery wave of emotion. I couldn’t blame him; he had every right to be mad at me, pissed even. He was here because of me. If I’d just left, and moved in with my girlfriend, then none of this would’ve happened. But I just couldn’t handle her anymore. She turned me in to this drug-fueled, raging alcoholic. I did it for her, because I thought I loved her. Love is accepting the other people’s flaws, right? But I didn’t love her, couldn’t. I never really felt a spark with her, I think it was just the pot talking, that feeling you get when your so high you can’t feel anything, I never felt anything in all my relationships, so I’d always mistook that for love.

Then Bryar. What the hell did he think he was doing? How dare he walk up to my little Mikey and try to act like that! All he is, is a big fucking pervert. I’ve seen what he does; he tried it with all the new inmates. He tried to act like the nice guys, the one person you can talk too, make everything seem okay. But I saw right past his little charade. I was lucky, my first roommate warned me about him. Bryar is just like the rest of them. He needs a Bitch, a boy who he can call his, make them do his bidding, and be his sex toy when he needed it. My last roommate and his last victim had gotten into a…. scuffle about a month back. They practically murdered each other. I haven’t seen them since. But Bryar went too far- he went after Mikey. He didn’t know, he had no idea we were related. No one did. I couldn’t help myself. I leaped across the table and lunged at his throat. All that pent up rage after watching him abuse almost everyone here, and now my baby brother, I was done. Frank just sat there and watched in horror, but Mikey, he screeched like a bitch, he grabbed me and tried to pull me off. I didn’t budge- I refused too. He screamed my name, begging me to get off his friend. Friend? It only fueled my rage and made me hit him harder. He’s talked to him before?
Mikey, he doesn’t understand what Bob really wants. He only see’s the good in people, or tries too, even in a fucked up place like this.

I let out a sigh, staring at the ceiling on my single bed shoved in the corner of this very tiny room. Why was bob just laying there? He took every single punch, even with his nose cracking again and again, his face turning red, then purple, he just sat there. He absorbed all of my rage, not even attempting to deflect a single one of my fists. Why was he doing this? He was twice my size, and had beaten me mercilessly multiple times before. He was way stronger than I was, and had more muscle than myself. There was no way Bob couldn’t have just stood up and thrown me into the wall, or just snapped my neck right then and there. The guards finally pulled me off of him, and dragged me away as I thrashed about. I wasn’t finished yet, not until he was dead. I wouldn’t let him hurt Mikey.

Mikey. Oh, Mikey. What are you doing here? Carrie said she’d get you out, she promised me. I made her promise me you wouldn’t get blamed for this. It wasn’t supposed to go this far, or get this bad. That’s why I confessed. I confessed. You didn’t do anything, It was all me, I said. I said to let you go.

All you wanted was a day to catch up; we had been drifting, drifting apart. It’ll be good for us, a day without fighting. You had said. But I was a bad brother, and forgotten about our plans. It didn’t seem important, we could reschedule, right? But you insisted. Why, why couldn’t we wait one more day? One more day so I could sober up, I knew I could. I could stay clean for one afternoon, right? But that day, I wasn’t myself; the insides of my nostrils coated in a white powder invisible to your eye, my mind blurry from the alcohol. But you were too excited too see that.

My God, you’re only sixteen. Why are you here? This is for bad men, who deserve to be here like me. Awful men, over eighteen. Mikey, you didn’t do anything. It was my fault; I kept you in the car. You didn’t need to see this. I was out of money, spent the rest on rent to keep the house. I needed a fix; the stash hidden in the closet was almost gone. We passed by the huge bank and I had a brilliant idea. It was easy, I just took what I needed and left. No one second-guesses someone pointing a gun to their temple.


They chased us, all the way across the city. The sirens finally overcame our car, and blocked our path. I refused to explain what was going on, you didn’t need to know. They ripped open the doors, and I followed in silence, I couldn’t even look at you. But you.. You screamed my name, soaked in your own tears as they dragged you away. You were shaking, trying to fight back, a scared little boy caught up in all the wrong things. And I…

I was too wasted to care.

Notes