The World is Ugly

They huddled around my bed, balling their hands into fists. I really hope they don't start a fight. I looked past Mikey, who was at the front of my bed, and saw Gerard's face was even more pale than usual. His eyes were red and he had obviously been crying by the way he spoke. "I'm not here to do anything. I'm here to apologize," he said. He slowly walked towards my bed, and the rest of them shuffled to one side of my bed. Gee grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry for getting drunk, and if I'm the reason you did this." He motioned to my arm.

I didn't know what to say. I love Gerard, even now, but he knew what he was doing after a few drinks. And why didn't he tell me he used to be an alcoholic? I would've thrown the champagne out the second I knew. I pulled my hand away. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked softly.
"What?"
"That you used to be an alcoholic? I would've thrown the damn bottles out after your third glass."
"I didn't want you to break up with me." He shot a glance to the group standing on the other side of the bed and they left. I tensed up. I wasn't scared, just didn't want to be alone with him. "I love you, Rose. I really do. It was a mistake to buy the damn champagne. I threw away my 389 days of being sober because I wanted to celebrate. And that was fucking stupid. I'm so fucking sorry for forcing myself on you." He didn't dare look at me until he finished. I was crying again. I loved him and I wanted to forgive him. But I didn't know if it was the right thing. He sighed when I didn't reply and turned to leave. "I understand if you want to break up. Love you, Rose." He waved goodbye.
"Wait!"
"Hm?"
"I don't want to break up. I love you. I feel safe with you. Just..." I sighed. I wanted to be with him. This was the right thing. "...promise me you won't drink at all. You know I can't be around drunks."
He smiled wide, the widest I've seen since... I don't think I've seen a smile that big. I sat up and stuck out my arms. He held me tight and he shook a little. Was he crying? "I love you, Rose Harley. So much." He pulled away and smiled. He had indeed been crying. "Rose Harley, are you still my girlfriend?"
"Gerard Way, are you still my boyfriend?" I asked, chuckling. He pressed his lips to mine for a few seconds before we heard someone tapping their foot. I pulled away to see it was Dr. Lowe, who despite the tapping of his foot (which is usually someone does when they're irritated, right?) he was smiling.
"Ahh, young love," he sighed. "Reminds me of me and my wife when he first met." He held up his left hand to show us a ring on his ring finger. Gerard and him shook hands. "Dr. Lowe."
"Gerard."
"So, Rose, we're gonna hold you here for a few more days. You might pass out again, though it's very rare that that happens, even after such an injury."
"So, did I pass out from blood loss, or?"
"Yes. Blood loss. You almost completely bled out. The other boy- Frankie, was his name?- said he found you on the floor of the shower. Called paramedics immediately." I realized Frankie probably saw me naked, but I didn't really care at this point. "Anyways, like I said, you're gonna be here for a few more days. Suicide watch." I nodded, and Lowe left. It was me and Gee again.

"Why did you do it?" Gerard asked.
"I--I... JJ... And mom... and stress..." I started sobbing. He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair. "It's not because of you... I just couldn't stand it..."
"The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me," he whispered to me. I let myself smile. That was beautiful. "Never let them take the light behind your eyes."
"I love you, Gee."
"You too."

Suddenly, there was a ringing noise that seemed to play in every room. It only lasted a few seconds. Gee looked at his watch. "It's already 9?" He stood up.
"Please don't go."
"I'm not going anywhere, just getting some coffee." I hadn't noticed the coffee machine in the corner. He made himself a cup, scooted his chair so it was right next to my headrest, and sat down again. He started singing.

These are the eyes and the lies of the taken
These are their hearts but their hearts don’t beat like ours
They burn ‘cause they are all afraid
For every one of us, there’s an army of them
But you’ll never fight alone
‘Cause I wanted you to know
That the world is ugly
But you’re beautiful to me
Well, are you thinking of me now?

My eyes grew heavy. I was almost asleep when I heard someone walk in. I didn't open my eyes, though.
"You made up?" someone, who I assumed was Frankie by his voice, asked.
"Yeah. Hey, I completely understand if you guys are mad. About me ruining my sobriety. It was stupid."
"We're still mad about that, but at least you can admit it was a mistake." It sounded like he was about to walk away.
"Have fun at school tomorrow."
"You sound like my mom," Frankie chuckled.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" she yelled. "ALL I DO FOR YOU AND YOU SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT!"
"Mom, you're drunk. Calm down. You'll wake up the entire neighborhood."
"SHUT UP!" She smashed the bottle over the dining table, shards of glass going everywhere. She raised the broken bottle over her head. "YOU WENT OUT WITH THOSE BOYS, DIDN'T YOU? YOU LITTLE WHORE! YOU'RE SCREWING THEM, ALL OF THEM, I KNEW IT!"
"Mom, please--"
"NO, THE ENTIRE TOWN NEEDS TO KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SLUT YOU ARE! YOU, ROSE HARLEY, ARE A FUCKING WHORE! YOU SLEEP WITH MEN YOU JUST MET!"
"NO, I DON'T MOM. YOU DID. I KNOW YOU HAD ME ONLY TEN MONTHS AFTER MEETING DAD."
A swing with a broken bottle, a punch, searing pain in my arms, and then kicks. This time, she didn't fall. She kept kicking and kicking. There was a blow directly to my chest and tears started to sting my eyes. Coughing blood. My vision became dark and I became numb to her repeated blows.

I woke up screaming and thrashing about. The nurses held my arms down as another pumped something into my I.V. My heart monitor was going crazy. I couldn't realize any of these things, I just kept screaming. I eventually calmed down, but only because of the sedation the nurse gave me. I stopped kicking and yelling and let myself fall back asleep.

~*~ TIME ELAPSE ~*~

I woke up a few hours later, at 7 am. I looked over to Gerard, who was on his phone. "Hey, babe," I croaked.
He turned to me. "Morning. Wanna go get breakfast?"
"Don't they serve me breakfast?"
"Yeah, but I heard the food they serve patients is terrible." He giggled.
"Then, yeah, sure." I grabbed his hand and he led me to the food court

Notes