The World is Ugly

"The temperature today is a cool 79. Expect some fall showers in the next 3 days or so...." the local news went on.

Me and Mikey were bored out of our fucking minds.

Gee had left to get food, but that was a few hours ago. I was honestly starting to get a bit worried. He texted me just a few minutes ago, but the feeling of incoming doom lingered.

Mikey sighed and plopped down on the bed. "Rooooose, I'm booooored," he whined.
"For being a four-star hotel, this place doesn't have a lot. Usually there's, like, arcades and buffets. But here? Nope." He nodded.
"So, I uh, got something to say," he stuttered. His face was bright red. "I was, uh, kinda, awake... last night?"
I was extremely confused as to what he meant before realizing what he meant. I felt my face get hot. "Oh my god... I-I'M SO SORRY!" I buried my face in my hands. Fuuuuck. Shit just got awkward. "Did we, like.. wake you up?" I asked, muffling myself with my hands.
"Y-Yeah, you were loud..."
"This is really awkward."
"Well, not really, I just thought you guys should know..."

Just then, Gerard came through the door, holding a few paper bags. "Hey." He looked up and saw both me and Mikey were blushing madly. "Is everything alright?"
"He heard us last night," I told Gee. He just chuckled.
"Bet you enjoyed that, huh, Mikey?" He punched his brother in the arm. "Anyways, I got some fuckin' Chinese food!" He set the bags on the table next to the door and pulled out three styrofoam containers. "Orange chicken for Mikey," he handed the box to Mikey, "and teriyaki for my lovely girl." He handed a box to me. I realized there were still two large bags on the table.
"What's in the other bags?" I asked,
"You'll see."
We found a cheesy sitcom to marathon and lots of snorting of drinks and choking on food ensued.

Around 8, we had all finished, and Gee went to throw away our plates. When he returned, he unveiled what was in the bags, two large bottles of champagne. "We have bottled the stars this evening, my young friends," Gerard said as he unscrewed the cork. I smiled. I forced him to read The Fault in Our Stars and he knew I loved it when he quoted it. Mikey shot him a look and pulled him outside the room. Weird. I shrugged it off and grabbed a cup provided by the hotel. I had never had champagne before. Sips of beer, sure, but not champagne. I didn't even like beer. I was, to be honest, convinced anyone who told people to drink are apart of some world-wide joke; it tastes like vomit. I poured a small amount into the cup and prepared myself. One, two, three...

This was a feeling I had never experienced with alcohol before. It was still bubbling as it went down my throat, and gave me a warm feeling. We had, truly, bottled the stars.

GERARD POV

"Champagne, really?" Mikey hissed.
"Calm down, I'm not going to relapse. Promise."
"Okay, that addresses one of my problems. You've been sober for a year now! Don't give up now."
"I'm not giving up!"
"You bought alcohol. That's enough to tempt you. Don't you remember what the doctor told you? Even an occasional drink can set off the addiction again."
"I know what the doctor told me. But I'm not going to get addicted again."
"My next concern is the fact we are all underage. You nearly got arrested last time! I'm surprised you haven't been caught with your fake I.D. I'm fine if I get pulled into this-- well, not fine, I mean, I would be pissed if I landed in juvie because you can't stay away-- but don't do this if she's around. She's a wonderful girl. Jail will fuck her up."
"How would you know that, Mikey?"
"BECAUSE LOOK WHAT IT DID TO YOU." Tears were forming in his eyes. I hugged him tightly, letting him sob into his shoulder. "You're all I got left, Gee. I don't want to lose you. To drugs, drinking, or jail."
"You won't. I promise." He wiped his tears away with his jacket arm and sighed.
"Shall we join your girlfriend?"

When we went back inside, Rose was sitting on the bed, a glass of champagne already in her hand. "Eager, huh?" I said playfully. She smiled and nodded.
"This is the first alcohol I've had other than beer," she said. He voice was ever so slightly slurred. There wasn't much gone from the bottle nor from her cup. I figured she didn't have a very high alcohol tolerance.
"Slow down there, cowboy. You're already a bit drunk," Mikey said. He had noticed the slurring too. He took her glass and drank the remaining champagne.
"Asshole," she muttered.
I grabbed myself and Mikey a glass a toast. "TO THE BAND!" we said in unison. I tasted alcohol for the first time in a year and felt a rush of excitement. I missed it.

ROSE POV

After a few hours and only a few glasses, I felt a bit disoriented, and stopped. I didn't want to get drunk. Mikey stopped shortly after I did. Gee, however, just kept on drinking. I lost track of his number after 10 glasses.

When 11 rolled around, I decided it was time to go to bed. Mikey had already, anyways. Gerard was in the bathroom, laughing at something. I poked my head in and told him I was going to sleep, He was apparently laughing at the way his hair looked when he parted it a certain way. My heart stopped. He was obviously drunk.

He should know now that I'm afraid of someone if they're obviously intoxicated. I was scared. I doubt he would hurt me, but even hearing the slurring of someone's voice triggered me. I grabbed some clothes and stuffed them in my bag. I wrote on the notepad provided by the hotel, "Tell me when you're sober, babe. You know I'm scared to death of drunks." I can't blame him for getting drunk, he has the chance of a lifetime to follow his dreams. I would get drunk, too. But I still felt a bit angry. When I was about to leave when I realized Gerard was standing in the doorway from the main room to the bathroom. "Where are you going, hun?" he asked. His voice was garbled. I thought back to that Friday. I tried to open the door but he grabbed my arm. "Nuh-uh, you're not going." Then he kissed me. I should've melted with him tasting like the bubbly liquid that I had now grown fond of. But not this time. I struggled to pull away. "What's wrong, babe, not in the mood?" he asked, smirking. I felt like slapping him then and there.

He pushed me against the wall, leaving bite marks on my neck. This felt nothing like last night. "Gee, stop, please.." I kept repeating. But he went on. My last straw was when he started to lift up my shirt. I pushed him away. "Gerard, stop!" I loudly whispered. I didn't want to wake Mikey. His face went from a blank, drunken stare to anger. My breathing hitched and I ran out before he could do anything. I ran as fast as I could downstairs, calling the first number on my phone, Frankie. He picked up after a few rings.
"It's, like, 11:30. Whaddya need, RH?"
"Gerard's drunk. Tried to force himself on me. Can I stay the night?"
"Drunk? Oh god. Yes, darling, the answer is obviously yes. I'll be there soon. Hotel Palo Verde, right?"
"Yes, Hurry."

I waited outside the hotel for a few minutes before a black car pulled up in the front. The window was rolled down and I could see it was Frankie. I threw my stuff in the backseat and sat in the passenger seat. "Thank you so much, FI." Our thing was calling eachother by our initials.
"So, what happened?" he asked as he drove away from the hotel. He was in pajamas, and the grey rings around his eyes were even darker.
"Well, we um... he bought some champagne and got drunk. I was gonna go to bed, but seeing someone intoxicated is a huge trigger for me. I tried to leave when he started kissing me and... he tried to take off my shirt when I ran out and called you."
""THAT MOTHERFUCKER!" he yelled, slamming on the wheel. "Sober for a fucking year, and he throws it all away."
"What?" Sober for a year? Implying he was not sober before a year ago?
"He never told you?"
"No...?"
He sighed. "I'll explain once we get home."

He made me a cup of hot chocolate and layered his couch in blankets. He sat next to me and sighed. "So, what happened?" I asked.
"It started a few years ago, when he had to start taking care of Mikey. The bullying was the worst for him and he became really depressed. He... turned to drinking and drugs. Stole from stores and spent all his money on drugs. He was so young, too. He almost OD'd a few times. Got arrested about two years ago when he got caught. Charged with underage drinking, but got released early because his lawyer argued he was stressed. Stopped drinking and drugs beginning of last year. That's why he smokes so much, it's his new way to cope. And he fucking threw it all away today." He shook his head. "That's why he's a bit old for year 10, he had to redo freshman year."
I suddenly felt gross and dirty, though Gerard hadn't done anything. "Where's your shower?" I asked. He pointed to across the hall. I thanked him again and went into the bathroom. I locked all the locks and double checked they were locked. I didn't know what I was doing. I started rummaging through the cabinets. I eventually found a pair of sharp scissors, the ones that I think are in first aid kits to cut skin. I turned the shower on and let the water rush over me. Then came the cutting.

I didn't know what I was doing. I just kept cutting. And cutting. The floor of the tub was red at this point. I brought the scissors to my skin again, and slashed. The last thing I remember before passing out was the cut bleeding profusely.

Notes