The World is Ugly

I fell asleep cuddling with him last night.

When I woke up, I was extremely confused at first, but then remembered last night and calmed down. I got up before him to brush my teeth and take a shower. When I got out, he was awake on his phone. "Hey baby," he said when he saw me and smiled.
"We've been dating for probably only like 5 hours and we're to pet names together?"
"7."
"You actually bothered to look at the time last night?"
"Yes. I did. Anyways, would you like to go on a date today?"
"That would be fun, actually!"
"Good. Get dressed."
"I have no clothes?"
"Wear my clothes, dummy."
I changed into some jeans and a t-shirt of his. I grabbed my inhaler and stuffed it in his pocket. "So, where are we going?"
"To be honest? Burger King."
"Romantic."
"I figured you'd need comfort food. Mikey's out with the rest of the crew today so we might join them later."

~*~ TIME ELAPSE ~*~

"You're a cheap date. And picky."
"This is how I'm gonna remember my first date with my first boyfriend. Burger King."
"And maybe shopping!"
"Mostly Burger King. Yes, I am a cheap date. Yes, I picky." I simply got a meal and soda.
"Okay, so... Let's play like favorites or something. I'll go first. Favorite... color? Mine's black and red."
"Black," I told him and took a sip of soda. "Favorite animal? Dogs all the fuckin' way."
"Gazelles."
"I've literally never met a person whose favorite animal is a gazelle."
"Well. now you have. Favorite food?"
"Pizza," we said in unison. We burst into laughter.
"Favorite book? The Fault in Our Stars."
"The Catcher in the Rye. Favorite... planet? Mars."
"Venus. It's harder than you'd think to think of questions that it seems. Can I move on from favorites? What is your main goal in life, right now?"
"Well, I wanna do something with my life. Not just be there. I wanna start a band."
"Really? Can I be your groupie?"
"Of course, hun."
"I'm your girlfriend you met 5 days ago, hun sounds very marriage-like."
"Sorry. Anyways, yeah. I wanna start a band. I write some songs."
"I feel the same. Not about the band part, I don't work all that well with others, but I wanna do something. Everybody wants to change the world, leave a mark."
"That got deep, very fast."

We went on like this for an hour, just asking questions back and forth. I made a mental profile of Gerard as we continued our questioning.
Gerard Way
Age: 17 (birthday April 9)
Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite Drink: Coffee (of course)
Favorite Planet: Mars
Favorite Book: The Catcher in the Rye
Wants to start a band
Writes songs
Is really cute but I don't really like him that much

God dammit fuck me sideways I need to make up my mind about this boy. He's really cute, hot even. UGH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I FULLY LIKE HIM THAT WAY. "I wanna see Mikey and all, but I'm actually really tired," I told Gerard when I finished my food.
"It's fine, I'll tell him," he pulled out his phone. I remembered the name he entered in my phone and chuckled. "What?" he asked.
"On my phone, you put Gee Bear, and I just..." I silently laughed with my head in my hands.
"It's Mikey's nickname for me, I know it's weird." He started laughing himself, and the majority of our walk was giggling. We avoided walking near my house so I wouldn't have another panic attack. When we got to his house, a police officer stood at this door. I knew they were here about my mom. The officer looked up and smiled. "Gerard, nice to see you again, " he said, and they hugged. He knew Gee? He turned to me and stuck out his hand. "Officer Johnson, you're Ms. Harley, correct?"
I nodded, "Rose, please."
"Alright. So, I think you know why I'm here today." I nodded. "How about we go inside and talk?" Gerard fumbled with his keys for a second before unlocking the door and letting us sit on the couch.
"Rose," Officer Johnson told me, "we need to know whether or not to press charges on your mom. Usually, it would be the parents' choice, since you're a minor, but your father hasn't responded to our calls and your mother... Anyways, we need to know today."
I thought about it. She was my mother. I couldn't put her away. But I was in so much pain that night. I didn't know what to do. I apparently had been negotiating that for a while, because eventually he asked me again. "Yes is my answer." I felt like I had just killed someone, my heart was heavy and I couldn't believe myself. Officer Johnson scribbled on a notepad. "Now, our next question is who will take care of you. You could stay with your dad. Don't tell anyone I said this, but if you don't want to be with your father, it's not worth it. So much fucking paperwork." He looked around, as if he believed someone appeared behind him. "Another choice is extended family. You have a few relatives who live out here. That's a lot of paperwork. too. You can also choose adoptive care. That's not ideal, though. Your last choice is you stay with friends, though we cannot guarantee your safe--"
"I'll stay with Gerard," I blurted. "If there's any relatives out here, I haven't met them and I don't trust them. No adoptive care. No dad. I feel safe around Gerard."
"Are you completely sure about this, Rose?" Johnson asked. I nodded. "Alrighty then. Now, we might need to call you in for questioning. The hospital you went to took photos of your injuries, so we won't need to do that. However, if your mom pleads not guilty, there will be a trial." I froze at the thought of describing my mom's attack to a room full of people. I felt sick. But I wasn't going to change my answer. Officer Johnson took my hand in his. "Rose, we will get justice for you. It's terrible what your mother did to you. This isn't her first run in with the law. She was arrested a few years before you were born. Attempted murder of her then-boyfriend. Got off on a plea." I froze up. I felt tears sting my eyes. "We've taken samples and everything of any possible evidence. You have permission to go to your house and take any of your belongings." He stood up and shook my hand again before leaving. Then it was just me and Gerard. Then, me, Gerard, and my tears. He held me close as I sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm gonna get my mom put in jail. Gee," I said between sobs, "she's gonna be a criminal and it'll be my fault."
"Shh, it's okay," he whispered in my ear. 'You did the right thing. She attacked you. She might have been trying to kill you. She was drunk." I didn't reply, just cried. I eventually calmed down and looked him in the eye. "Are you okay with me staying here? I just kinda blurted that out," I asked.
"Perfectly fine with me. As long as you're safe."
"Shit, shit. Tomorrow's Monday, right?" Gerard nodded. "I need my stuff. Oh god. I need to get to my house. Come with me." I got up and walked outside.
"I'm not stupid enough to not go with you."

I felt extremely sick to my stomach as my house came into view, but I needed my things. Thankfully, there was a police officer stationed at the door. I told him who I was and he let me in. Gerard tried to come in with me, but the officer held him back. "I'm fine with him coming in," I told the officer, but he wouldn't budge. I sighed and kissed him on the cheek before going in to look at my house.

The first thing I saw was a blood stain on the floor. Obviously mine. I wasn't sensitive to blood, but I started to feel sick. I swallowed down what I felt rising and went upstairs. There was a huge hole in my door. I cautiously swung my door open. I felt like it would break at any second. I grabbed a duffel bag from my closet and started throwing my things in there. Clothes, shoes, makeup, hygiene shit. I glanced at a picture of my family before the divorce and felt another twinge of sadness. Within, what, 6 months, I have now lost both of my parents.I grabbed my phone charger and headphones and stuffed them into the bag. I swung the duffel around one arm and my backpack around the other. I was about to go downstairs when I heard someone behind me. "Rose?" I knew that voice. I turned around.

I nearly dropped all my things.

"Dad?"

Notes