It's Hard to Say I Love You for the First Time (Frerard) *ON HOLD*

"Uh... W-what?" I ask turning to look at him. His face was straight but his eyes told other wise. They were filled with color and shine. They cared.

"I really like you." He replies.

"But.... Why?" I ask not entirely believing him. No one has really ever liked me, except Pete.

"Because.... Well where should I start. Your not like the others-" he started but I had to interrupt.

"That's what everyone says."

"If you would let me finish I could tell you the rest."

"Oh... Sorry." I mumble feeling stupid.

"You have a vibe that I love and I have trouble staying away from you. I want to get to know you more Frankie,"

"Frankie?"

"Would you let me finish?" He chuckles.

I shut my mouth feeling stupid again but somewhat pleased at my nickname he decided to give me.

"I love your laugh, your hair, your eyes, your personality, your taste in music, the way you write, your sense of humor, shall I go on?" He asks.

That was probably one of the best things someone could possibly ever tell me.

I don't think twice and I kinda fall onto the hospital bed, feet still touching the ground. I wrap my arms around Gerard's neck and lean in.

Well to his neck. I put my face there and just hug him and I feel his strong arms wrap around my back and hold me in an embrace.

"Thank you Gerard, or Gee. I that okay? If I call you Gee?" I ask into his neck happy at the nickname I just came up with for Gerard.

He laughs and then talks.

"Gee is perfect."

I move my head so I am only inches away from his face. I look at his eyes then his lips then his eyes again. Slowly, very slowly I lean in and slowly approach his lips with mine. He does the same. Almost there! I'm about to kiss Gerard Way!

I feel myself smile, but it went away when the door opened. I push my hands on the pillow on either side of Gerard's face and push myself back, perhaps too hard. I loose my balance and fall right on my ass.

"Frank!" Gerard cries as I bounce once from falling.
I crawl underneath the bed quickly enough that Lindsey didn't see me.

"Who were you talking to?" Lindsey ask a she puts down the papers she is holding. She then walks to I can only see her feet and the bottom half of her legs.

"I just...got off the phone with Frank." Gerard says, and I feel him shift on the bed awkwardly.

"Are you guys really dating?" Lindsey ask like she knows we aren't.

"N-n-n-no... We aren't,"

Oh.... I thought since he just confessed his feeling and we almost kissed I would have thought we would be 'dating'.

"But I would like to be." Gerard mentions.

I smile realizing that I was just being a stupid fuck and that Gerard does like me and I shouldn't jump to conclusions so fast.

"Do you really want to be gay?" Lindsey asks.

"Y-yeah, why?" Gerard responds.

What the hell is going on? Why would someone ask a patient that? Why would someone ask that in general!?

"Because there are girls that are probably better than Frank and you should go look for one."

"W-what the h-hell are you talking about?"

"Me."

"What?"

"I think you should go for me. I would definitely accept you, and you never know. Frank could say no."

"I don't like you."

"Well I like you." Lindsey says finishing the conversation.

That freaking ass! Why is she hitting on Gerard!?

I see her feet disappear and they go up as if she is climbing on the hospital bed.

"L-Lindsey.... P-p-please get o-off." Gerard says.

I realize that she is on the bed. I crawl out at the foot of the bed and stand up so Lindsey can't see me.

"F-Frank.... Please help me." Gerard says.

"Hey!" I yell.

Lindsey turns around and her eyes of wide when she sees me and mine do the same when I see her.

Her shirt is pulled low, so that her bra and breast are showing.

"Get off of him!" I yell taking a step forward.

She jumps off of him and pulls her shirt up.

"Your supposed to be out of here! I'm calling security!" Lindsey yells and run out of the room to get someone.

"Frank get out of here! I'm going to get another nurse! It'll be fine! Just get out of here now!" Gerard yells.

"But Gerard-" I begin.

"NOW!" He yells and he scares me. I back up and he realizes what he did.

"Wait Frankie, I didn't mean it-"

"No! Don't worry, don't get another nurse, let's Lindsey have her fun with you. It's fine, and if you were going to ask me to be your boyfriend, the answer is NO!" I say before I rip the door open and run down the hall of the white hospital feeling tears jerking at me wanting to flow free.

I blink and they all come out knowing I'm a freaking failure. Gerard lied to me. He said he likes me and that obviously a lie.

I jam the elevator button and it doesn't come.

"Frank! Wait please!" I hear Gerard yell. I turn around and there he is. In his hospital gown, an IV stand in his right hand, and he is barefoot on the cold floor which obviously cannot be good for him. He starts to run with the IV still in his hands. I turn and the elevator is still not here.

I look back at Gerard and he is about 20 feet away. He runs too fast!

I loom to my right and see the stairs and bolt for them. I slam into the door and it open and hits the wall. I jump down the multiple flights of stairs ignoring Gerard's pleads for me to wait.

When I get to the bottom I look up and see Gerard trip down the stairs and my heart breaks knowing that I did that to him.

He was running after me when he probably shouldn't even have been out of bed and now he just fell face dirt onto a dirty, gray floor.

Then I hear a bloodcurdling scream, "FRANKIE!" I know it Gerard and I run up a flight of stairs before I see nurses running around Gerard and the last thing I see is Gerard's mouth full of blood before I run away, as fast as I can all the way to my house.

Notes

I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!