It's Hard to Say I Love You for the First Time (Frerard) *ON HOLD*

My heart is in my throat and I feel like I will throw up. This is all my fault if I hadn't had hugged Gerard he wouldn't have stumbled back into the street and wouldn't have been hit by the car.

I walk back an take a seat and just wait. I wait and wait for hours not eating anything or drinking anything. I'm barley even thinking anything.

I just want Gerard to be safe.

"Is anyone here with Gerard Way?" A female nurse says as she appears in the doorway.

I shoot up and walk toward her.

"I am. What happened?" I ask my bottom lip trembling. I'm on the verge of crying but I won't let the tears fall. I need to be strong, but if something did happen to Gerard I wont hesitate to break down and scream and cry.

She motions for me to follow her and we walk to the outside of a hospital room, 913 which I assume is Gerard's.

"Gerard's fine, we have him stitches on his arm but his head wasn't as bad. He didn't need stitches up there but it just bled a lot." She says looking at her sheets up paper she had in her hands.

I clutch the clothes hoping that there is no more bad news.

"Gerard can be released the day after tomorrow considering no damage was done to his head. Your very lucky he didn't break a bone. Most people usually don't make it when they get hit by a car. Luckily you were there to help his wounds, because if you weren't, Gerard would probably be dead. He would have bled out. So the hospital thanks you. Gerard is awake and ready to see whoever is here to visit and it looks like that is only you so you can walk in when your ready. If you need anything my name is Lindsey." She says before walking away behind the front desk.

There are tears in my eyes from relief that Gerard isn't dead. I wipe the tears off but it is still noticeable that I was crying. I sigh and grasp the door handle. I push it and open the door. I step into the room and it smells like a hospital usually would but with a little hint of coffee.

I slowly approach the wall where I will turn and see Gerard. I see a nurse standing at the foot of the bed writing stuff down and she sees me.

"Come on in." She says motioning me with he hand to take a step so Gerard can see me. Slowly I lift my foot and step into the light.

When I see Gerard I feel like shit because I caused this, but I feel great that I get to see him again. He has a white bandage covering a part if his upper right arm and a bandage in the left part if his forehead.
His arms have bruises but I can't imagine how best up his chest, stomach and back is.

"Frankie!" Gerard says excitedly trying to sit up but the nurse motions for him to relax.

"H-hi Gerard... A-are you o-okay?" I ask stuttering. I haven't stuttered since eight grade, an that was when I talked to this guy I liked and he turned me down.

"Come here!" He says and he holds out his hand. I slowly walk over to him. When I get in reach he grabs my hand and I drop the clothes and he pulls my towards him.

I fall forward and he pulls me into his chest. He begins to stroke my head and I start to sob. He pulls back and looks into my eyes.

"What wrong Frankie?" He ask.

"I did this to you...." I say looking away. I see that the nurse isn't here anymore and the door is closed.

Gerard and I are alone.

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. I'm the one who jumped on you and made you stumble into the street. Anyways you should have pushed me off. I should've got hit with you."

"Don't ever fucking say that! I saved you because I would never let you get hurt."

"O-okay... Just next time save yourself before you save me please."

"I make no promises. Your my number one priority now. In going to keep you safe. I'm not going to let the bullies touch you if in around. Not anyone."

My heart melted when he said that. He cares about me. My mother never said to me. Pete never said that to me. Gerard was the first.

"Thank you Gerard. Your the first one who has ever said anything like that to me. Thank you." I say hugging him.

I really really like Gerard. A lot more than I should.

****Time Laps****

"Hun, it's time for you to go. Visiting hours are done." Lindsey says as she comes in and sees Gerard and I laughing hysterically. I was telling him about the time Pete went to go pee outside even though I told him it was a bad idea and a squirrel cone and attacks him while he is peeing and yeah. Pete's a strange one.

"Oh. What time can he come back tomorrow?" Gerard asks.

"Six." Lindsey says.

"Oh well I'm gonna say my goodbyes and I'll leave." I say with a smirk on my face because I have a plan.

She smiles and leave closing the door on the way out.

I look at the clock and it's 11:30.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow Frank." Gerard say.

"Yeah... I'm gonna stay." I says smiling.

"What? You can't though."

"But I want to and I will." I say before crawling under the bed.

"If the nurse comes in tell her I left." I say and all I hear is him laughing.

A couple minutes later I hear the door open.

"Hi Gerard. Did your boyfriend leave?" Lindsey asks.

Ah shit.

"B-boyfriend?" Gerard asks.

"Yeah, he is your boyfriend correct? That's the only way he was allowed up here."

"Y-yeah. He is. Frank and I are dating."

"He left though, right?"

"Y-yeah, he went home."

"Alright. If you need anything just push that red button and I'll be here. I'll check in you in the morning." She says before I can't hear her footsteps anymore indicating she left.

"Frank get out here." He says. Shit, shit, shit. Why did I say that?

I crawl out from underneath the bed and stand up.

"I'm sorry." I say looking away considering I have my back to him.

It's silent until it happens. I feel Gerard's hand on my lower back. Under my shirt so he is touching my bare skin. I gasp an freeze. He is the first hand besides mine and the person at the tattoo shop to vet touch my tattoo.

Then I hear one of the last things I ever thought would come out of his mouth.

"I like you Frankie. A lot."

Notes

again i had this written for two days but just now got it updated.......

i have to type from my phone because my sis is a butt