Kiss Me Before We Crash

*Oh my god I’m so so sorry for being inactive for so long!!
*Some possible self-harm triggers
*And Pete Wentz will be in this chapter. Just decided that.
Morgan’s POV
I’m so stupid! He was trying to help me and I was so rude to him, but I guess there’s no helping that now…it’s better anyway…
Every time I get close to someone, Every time I open up, I hurt people. It feels like my heart’s been jabbed with needles, and each time I get close to someone a needle gets pushed in just a little bit farther…
I reached my house and rushed up the stairs, tears still dripping down my cheeks. I set my bag down on my bed and put the damp papers down on my desk. Sighing heavily I reached for the blade I kept hidden in my sock drawer, were no one would think to look and made a few gashes in my wrist. I watched the blood seep out of the gaping wounds and drip down my arms. Chucking the blade across the room, I lurched forward and began sobbing. I’m so pathetic. Why? Why me? Why did I have to be the girl who had no friends, because she broke every soul she touched? Why did I have to be the girl who sang about tragedies and drew the dark thoughts that swarmed her head?
I sat up and tried to calm myself down. You have to be fine. You have to smile and act like it’s all alright, because no one cares either way.
I headed to the bathroom and turned on the light. Looking in the mirror, I tried to fix up my makeup the best I could. Then, I called the only person I knew would care.
Ringing. Nothing but ringing…
Come on, Pete! Pick up!
“ Hey Morg! What’s up?”
“ Hi Wentzilla” I heard him groan and smiled. He always did hate my little pet name for him. “Nothing much, really. But-“
“But what? Morg, you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” Frick! My voice cracked
“No, you’re not fine. I want the story.” That’s why I could always talk to Pete. He knew when something was wrong, so I could never chicken out of telling him. That’s also why I was devastated when my family moved out of our home in Chicago to live in Belleville.
“And now I don’t know what to do, Pete. I always screw up everything, so why try?”
“That’s rough,” He started. “The thing is sure, maybe you slip up now and then, but that can’t stop you from trying. If you don’t try you make it impossible to accomplish anything. And you already know how I feel about your…you know…..self-harming.” I knew very well how he felt about it.
“I wish you wouldn’t always call it that. You’re not really harming yourself a much as you seem to harm those you love.” I protested.
Pete sighed. “You know, I think that’s the deepest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Hey, can we talk later? My mom’s calling me.
I made a noise that sounded something like, “Uhhah” and hung up.
Sighing, I pushed my bag to the floor and lay down on my bed. I put my ear buds in and put my Ipod on shuffle to hear the first few cords of Lithium by Nirvana. My favorite song by my favorite band:
I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends...
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
We've broken our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And I'm not scared
Light my candles, in a daze
'Cause I've found god
'm so lonely, but that's okay, I shaved my head ...
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard ...
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there ...
But I don't care
I'm so horny, but that's okay ...
My will is good


I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends ...
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
We've broken our mirrors [Alt: We broke our mirrors]
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze ...
'Cause I've found god

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack……

Notes

Thanks for reading!