Psychosis

Every day after that first night, Bert and I spent our evenings together. Frank appeared more on edge with every moment. He would snap at me constantly when I attempted to have a conversation with him, so I avoided him as best as I could. Today was Friday, the day of my first private therapy session. I was nervous and I didn’t know what to expect from my first session.
“It’s not scary,” Frank said to me as I was leaving our room. Those were the first kind words he had said in days, but they gave me some relief.
I trudged to the session silently. Before I’d even had a chance to knock on the doctor’s office door, it opened to reveal her standing over me. My doctor’s name was Dr. Julia Cooper, I’d gathered from the nameplate on her desk. She seemed minimalistic, as her room contained only her desk, chair, and a few filing cabinets in the corner. She had no pictures, no books on shelves…I wondered if she was even human. This didn’t ease my discomfort. Rather, I felt worse.
Her words were just as bland as the image I’d created of her. As she spoke, the words began to jumble together until I couldn’t hear what she was saying anymore. Something about her seemed strange, but I couldn’t place it. I eased my back into the chair and I realized how white my knuckles were against the arm rests.
“You’re free to go,” she said after what seemed like an eternity. She must have noticed my noncompliance.
As I left, I tried to shake the feeling of fear my therapist had left me with. After I was past all the staff, I broke into a run. I was headed towards the library because I knew it was the only place I’d be able to sit in peace, without distraction. I was dizzy and the floor below me seemed to be moving, crumbling beneath my feet. I started to run faster and pushed into something. It was too soft to be a wall, so I glanced up with caution. Standing in front of me was Bert, his body relaxed against the library door frame. He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“What happened to you, hon?” he asked, frowning at me.
I told him about my experience with the therapist, and all the strange things I’d seen in the previous days since I’d been here.
“Those pills they give you? They make you crazier than you ever were. That’s why I stopped taking mine.”
“But…how?” I ask, unsure.
“When you hold the cup to your lips, shove it between your gums at the back of your mouth,” he explained. “Then spit it out and hide it under your mattress. They haven’t changed mine since I’ve been here.”
Bert reassured me with a kiss on my forehead and walked me back to my room. When we arrived, I opened the door and hugged him one last time. He glanced behind me after our embrace, staring at my roommate.
“Hello, Frankie,” Bert crooned.
Frank glared intensely back at him.
“Hello, Bert. And good fucking bye,” he spat.
Bert frowned, apparently not expecting such a fierce retort. As he turned to leave, I grabbed his arm. He smiled back apologetically but continued to walk away. By now, I was fuming. Frank had acted out of line. Bert was harmless. He’d done nothing to set Frank off.
“What’s your fucking problem, man?” I said aggressively. If it weren’t for the fact that someone could hear me, I would have yelled.
“My problem,” he replied just as aggressively, “is that you’re making the worst fucking decision of your life and I can’t do a thing to stop it. He’ll hurt you. The way he hurt me…”
I didn’t believe his nonsense.
“The only person who is hurting me is you, Frank. You’re immature. You disregard what matters to me. You act like I’m not your friend just because I befriended your enemy. He has done nothing to hurt me, unlike you.”
Frank seemed defeated. For some time, he said nothing to me as he stared at his wall. I felt remorse for upsetting him, but he had been out of line. I knew everything I’d said was true, and he needed to hear it at some time.
Maybe Bert was right; Maybe Frank was the enemy…
Frank spoke then, staring me directly in the eyes. “Did he ask you to stop taking your medications?”

Notes

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BTW, The title is the name of a song by The Used. Check it out, if you've never heard it! :)