Look Alive Sunshine

"Natalie! Get your lazy ass up for school, or else you'll be LATE." i hear my mom scream from downstairs. Bitch. I groan to myself and grab my phone. 6 am. 'Its way too early for this' I think to myself as I pull myself out of bed and make my way to my bathroom. I flip on the light switch, and turn on the shower and begin to undress myself from last night's pajamas. Once my clothes are scattered all over the floor, I take a look at myself in the mirror. I regret doing so, because I become disgusted with what I see. Brown and purple hair, all knotted up, weird shaped nose (too big for my liking, even though my friends at my old school tried over and over to convince me I was wrong), and dark brown eyes. I look at my naturally-tanned skin, but stop scanning myself when I get to my right hip. Its a disaster zone. It always has been since 8th grade. I guess you could say I'm depressed. I mean, I have my good days, but most of the time its a bad day. Or I go through days with no emotion at all, only to break down in my room at night, and bring a razor to my skin once more, and flinch from the pain that I've caused myself. A reason why I do this to myself is because I long for love. I see movies, and I read books, and I know that its all fictional, but I would love to have somebody love me. Last year, I was happy. I had a boyfriend of 7 months and stopped cutting for a while, but when he left me for a girl who was my enemy, I started up again. Another reason would be because my father died. Another? My mother treats me awfully. Her new boyfriend is so abusive to me physically and mentally, its a shocker that I haven't ended my life by now. But, here I am, still living this sucky thing they call a "life" counting down the days until I can finally die.
Once steam starts filling my small bathroom, I hop in the shower. I was in there for about 5 minutes before the water got cold, so I figured my mom's asshole boyfriend was taking his morning shower. Thankfully, I finished in time, and wrapped myself in a towel, and did my makeup. Dark eyeliner and mascara. I then pull on some black skinny jeans, and a Pierce The Veil shirt and put some wristbands on to cover up my scabs and old scars. I got in my car and drove to my new school.

Notes

hi ok i hope everyone likes it! :). I'm doing Chapters 1 and 2 connected, so don't think this is it! I'm going out for tonight, but when I get home (a few hours) expect a new update! love all you guys!!! :))))