Loud Silence (Gerard Way)

I arrived at the park where we were going to play when I was just a child. I remember fallen many times, but I stood up and she kept insisting until I finally learned to ride a bike .
I sat under a tree, we were using this place to draw or listen to music. Tears were falling without warning, violently wipe them and went to a store to buy some cigarettes. Take three boxes of Marlboro, paid and went to sit under the tree. The weather was beautiful, sunshine, children running and couples holding by their hands, this infuriated me. The people liked to enjoy while others died? I felt a great hate for everyone there, teens, kids, adults and the elderly, all I hated. I took a cigarette and lit desperate. Aspire filling my lungs with the delicious nicotine, which although didn't eliminate the pain but locked for a while. I felt heavy and my throbbing head, grabbed the bag from the store and got a new razor. I admire it a few seconds before it closer to my pale wrist, which had previous open wounds and blood around was dry. The sinking slowly up looking like the beginning to sprout burgundy liquid, the contact of cold metal against my skin did flinch a bit but, somehow, I was getting used to that pain, after several times, I began to feel pleasure, different one that you get when you have sex, this kind of pain calms me, I liked and made me forget gradually Helena.

I went home, weak. When I opened the door behind this was Mikey into the huge room.
"Damn, Gerard!" yelled at me and giving me came clear. My left cheek was sore now. Although he was older than Mikey 's surpassed me in centimeters. Then he bent down to my level on the floor and hug me. I not corresponded it, I couldn't do nothing, sorry Mikey.
"Sorry" I say.
"I know she was very special to you, Gerard , but I don't think she would like to see you like this" he said and got up. I walked, but I felt I was doing nothing.

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The following days I didn't leave my room, I didn't eat just draw a few sketches, all representing my beloved death, wrote a few lines, to my dear Helena .
"Love, you have to eat!" says my mother coming into my room. She Came to my house a few days, insisted on staying when Mikey told him what happened that day.
The funeral had passed, everybody was crying, but I assure you that no one in that stupid room felt more pain than me, Frank and Ray were also joined us to Mikey and me all the time, our best friends.
Get off my notebook to visualize my mother. She were dressed with her favorite black blazer with a black dress behind it.
"I'm not hungry" I replied to continue my drawing.
"Gee, honey. You have days without eating, look at you" she pointed me. It was true, in just a few weeks I looked emaciated, my skin was more paler than usualy and my black blazer, hiding my cuts, to constantly to calm me. That kind of pain calms me .
"Down in a minute" I mumbled , and she put a huge smile on his pale face, and came out of my room. Mikey had taken all my pills and was pending as long as it held on to the secret.

They forced me to eat , but I didn't win. I Grateful my hotcakes and take my coffee, pure and without sugar.
"I'll be out a time" Mikey and my mother turned to me.
"Are you sure, man?" Mikey said rolling his eyes.
"Yes, Mikes, long since I don't be out" I said scratching my neck and giving a sip of my coffee again
"Want to come?"
"No. I can do it by my own"
When finished I went up to my room and keep it in a bag my notebooks, pencils and colors.
Take the keys and left. Perfect rainy day, long since not rained in Jersey and that calmed me. I could smell the rain and went to the park, my place of peace. Get off my stuff and went to my tree, I sat down and started to draw the melancholy - beautiful scenery.
"Why?!" listen, painful, sharp and guttural. Someone cried... a female voice .

Notes