My Knife Your Back, Your Gun My Head (author wanted)

When they finally let her inside the room again the walls weren’t full of writing and grayness, but snow white and sterile. She didn’t like the whiteness that much, it made her feel trapped and it brought back memories she couldn’t really put anywhere, maybe that was the reason she had painted them grey or red. That usually depended on what she had by her hand.
“You okay mr.Iero? Did she hurt you?” a friendly voice asked from outside the room. It was Nurse Vicky.
“No it’s okay… it’s just a scratch, I’m used to it by now.” The male answered.
This male, this man that had taken care of her for over a year now. This man, Frank Iero, the man that had helped her so much. She was so grateful, she truly was, but something didn’t seem right with him. She always felt a kind of hatred towards him, whatever he did, she always felt it. He must have done something one time that she didn’t remember.
“Hey Joanna? You feeling better? Now that you are back at your room.” She turned to Frank as he spoke.
Aha, so it was her room! That was one less thing to worry about!
She nodded. Guilt pressed up her throat and she opened her mouth to tell him how sorry she was, but the little voice in her head told her not to. It told her that he had deserved it. He had deserved all the punches and scratched she had given him. Cause he had done something really bad one time, and needed to be punished.
“Joanna!” Frank yelled as she fell to the floor. Yes, she fell over by the thought of what Frank once did. She felt his strong arms wrap around her waist as he helped her up from the floor and over to the small bed. She looked up at his worried face when he laid her down on the stone hard bed.
“You really need to stop fainting when I’m in the room, sweetie” he said with a smug smile. He had a big scratch over his cheek, and a blue eye.The guilt came crawling back to her.
She was finally left alone to sleep. She couldn’t though, not now. It just didn’t work now! When the nurse had told her to sleep, she hadn’t flicked the light switch 10 times. She hadn’t flicked it 10 times, she had flicked it 9.
Also, she was awake, so the voices in her head were awake. She wasn’t just awake, she was alone. It was worst when she was alone to be honest.
“She’s a lunatic… I mean, she’s still all psycho after what happened to her! How long is it going to take to get over a damn kidnapping?” The voices of the nurses passing by went straight to her room.
“Yah I know right! This girl I know was kidnapped one time, and she recovered after a week! A week I tell ya!” It was Vicky this time. The voices faded away after a little while of them talking about how much of a fuck up she was. She had to agree, after all this time, who would still think of their kidnapper every day? Who would still cry every night by the thought of the miscarriage of his child? Normal girls would be happy. Normal girls would go some weeks in therapy and be just fine. Some girls would be happy to lose his child. She wasn’t, so that had to make her as crazy as all the nurses were saying.
She closed her eyes and tried to forget the voices in her head that kept reminding her about him. She tried to forget that the nurse only had flicked the light 9 times. She couldn’t, it was driving her crazy, that light needed to be switched 10 times. He would have remembered it. He always would. He had cared about her; he had done everything he could to make her alright. Where was he? Where was Gerard Way?

Notes

something will happen soon, i promise.