Your eyes are vacant & stained (frerard)

FRANK’S P.O.V
I tried to stop myself from showing the students I was pretty upset… I tried to avoid staring at his empty desk… It worked, sort of. I may not of looked at it, but I sure thought about it 24/7. Gerard was really uneasy yesterday night around his parents, they don’t treat him properly, I know that. And, now, he isn’t at school… It worried me, was it my fault? I gnawed on my lip, my eyes anxiously watching the clock as it struck 1pm – signal for lunch. The scholars screeched from their seats and flooded out of the room. I scooped my pocket for my phone, deciding to call Gerard’s parents; they gave me their number yesterday night.
“Hello, it’s Mr Iero. I haven’t had a call in to say why Gerard was off school today… Do you mind telling me why?” I attempted not to sound panicked, or even a little annoyed that Gerard hadn’t appeared to my class. I was hurt, I had to admit.
“Mr Iero! Oh, it’s nothing. He’s just ill,” Mrs Way stated.
“‘Just nothing?’ Is he okay?!” I exclaimed, my anger bubbling that his parents thought it was ‘just nothing’.
“We don’t know, we’re at work, Gerard is home alone, and Mikey is at school.” His parents told me. I was apologetic. I slammed my hand down on the desk in anger.
“Have you no sense?! He could be seriously in danger and you wouldn’t know!” I grinded my teeth in my mouth, furiously.
“I do not think it is in your position to speak to us like that,” Mrs Way stated, as politely as possible.
“I do not think it is right that you leave your son alone when he is ill!” I retorted.
“Mr Iero, I know you are fond of our son, but this is our life. Not yours. So keep out.” And with that, the Ways hung up. I stuffed my phone in my pocket. I knew what I was going to do. Leaving the classroom, I headed to the school’s reception.
“Ann, hello,” I greeted the receptionist. “Um…My…” I paused, the excuses building up in my mind. “My sister is extremely ill; I must go to her now. Fill in a supply for my class; I don’t know if I will be back tomorrow,”
I didn’t even have a sister; however, they didn’t know that. Ann nodded in understandingly, and the school’s glass doors flew open. I rushed out, leaping into my car. I drove to the woods, and then parked my car outside of it.
- - -
I scrambled up to Gerard’s door, praying that the front door would be unlocked. Knowing how foolish his parents are, it probably was… I tried the handle, and the door flung open. I was correct. I quietly closed the door, not wanting Gerard to think I was some kind of mass-murderer. I strode down the crumbling flight of stairs and creaked open Gerard’s door, stepping inside the basement. Gerard was in bed, his eyes closed, and a smile on his lips. He coughed, a high-pitched cough, like a girl’s cough, but resumed sleeping. How can coughing be so cute?! I sat on his desk for a while, till Gerard started shivering, remaining in his sleep. I rolled my eyes and slipped underneath the blankets with him, my warmth helping him, he stopped shaking after a few minutes. I grinned to myself and remained laying there with him.
Gerard had his back facing me when a moan came from his lips. I froze. Oh shit. My weaknesses were people moaning; especially someone as perfect as Gerard… Gerard turned so he was facing me, and draped an arm around my body. Suddenly, his hand crept up my t-shirt, his skin soothingly cold, and he started massaging my stomach. I felt my breathing get extremely heavy, I was biting my lip, trying to hold in all the sounds of pleasure because I didn’t want him to wake up and find himself in his position – it would kill him… I was selfish. He was dreaming about that guy he loved and now… I was allowing him to do this? It’s bad, even if I was just a normal guy, but it was worse, as I’m also his tutor…
“Fuck,” I mumbled, giving up. Gerard’s hand retreated, fortunately and unfortunately. He shuffled closer to me and buried his face in my chest, breathing softly.
- - -
A good 20 minutes later, Gerard stirred, his eyes flickering open. He stretched slightly, then resumed to nuzzling my shoulder.
“Gerard,” I whispered, gently. Gerard woke, properly, looking alarmed. Oh, shit was he mad? “Sorry, I…” I stumbled out of the bed, my cheeks slightly red.
“No, it’s fine, just…Frank why are you here?” He mumbled, coughing afterwards then groaning, pulling the covers closer to him.
“Because you’re ill and you need someone to look after you,” I announced.
“But you don’t care about me, I saw you just before 12, in the classroom and it was like I was there anyway, you looked as happy as ever,” Gerard muttered, wrapping the blankets around him, coughing again. “Medicine,” His voice was normal as he sat up.
“Wait,” I made him lay down again. “I’ll get it, don’t worry… But, you came to school? Why did you come?”
“Because I wanted to see you,” Gerard admitted, his cheeks going red – even if he was cold and ill. My heart fluttered, a small smile came to my face.
“Fuck, you’re so cute,” The words slipped from my mouth and Gerard’s cheeks went a deeper red. “Time to get the medicine,” I quickly escaped to the kitchen, where I raided through the cupboards and found the medicine and tablets. I arrived back downstairs, and Gerard was sitting at his desk, drawing, his eyes squinting.
“Gerard, you’re ill, get back to bed you little shit,” I handed him the medicines and tablets, laughing.
“Excuse me? I can get you fired for that,” Gerard appeared offended, and then took the medicines and tablets, quickly. “And I like drawing, I want to draw.”
“What you want and what you have to do are two different things. So, get into bed!” I instructed. “And that’s an order from your tutor!”
Gerard cursed to himself which made me chuckle, and tucked himself up in bed.
“I’m cold,” Gerard sniffed. “You still haven’t answered me… You looked happy without me,”
“Oh, Gerard,” I smiled, sitting next to him. “Just because I look happy, doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking where the fuck are you. That’s why I rang your parents, and found out you were ill, home alone. I was livid, seriously. I shouted at your parents. Anyway, they hung up on me, so I came here. If they’re not going to help you, I will.”
“Thank you, Frank,” Gerard grinned.
“And you’re cold, huh?” I picked up on what he originally spoke about. Gerard nodded. “Have my body warmth,” I slid next to him again, and Gerard’s gorgeous smile lit up the room, as he snuggled next to me.
“I don’t want you to get ill, though,” Gerard coughed, pouting at me.
“I won’t, and if I am ill, who cares?” I laughed. “As long as you’re happy and well,”
I felt Gerard squirm closer, and I sigh, softly. If only I was a normal person, not a tutor. If only Gerard loved me, not some other guy.
- - -
I heard Mikey arrive from school, his parents still out. I glanced at Gerard, who sat up, leaning against his wall. I fed him the medicines as his hands were numb for some weird reason, and sat next to him. Mikey stamped downstairs.
“Gerard! How are you!? And hi, Mr Iero…” Mikey glanced between us for a second, cocking an eyebrow. “I thought…”
“I found out he was home alone so I came, because your parents were foolish to leave him alone… he could’ve passed out and no one would know!” I exclaimed.
“I agree, our parents are stupid. They’re horrible to Gerard,” Mikey muttered. My stare hardened on the floor. “Did you shout at them?”
“Sort of,” I admitted.
“They wouldn’t want to see you here, you know…” Mikey trailed off.
“It’s fine!” Gerard found his voice again. “He can hide in the woods until I text him that my parents are out of sight,”
“I’m not allowing him to be left alone, again.” I declared.
“I won’t tell,” Mikey promised. “Like I won’t tell about Gerard’s fantasies-”
“Shut the fuck up, Michael! Just because I’m ill doesn’t mean I can’t beat you up!” Gerard exclaimed, his cheeks going the darkest yet. He shrunk, slightly, gazing at me. I couldn’t help but smirk, even if the ‘fantasies’ weren’t about me.
Mikey left after that.
- - -
Gerard’s parents arrived at home.
“You’re not going to the woods, seriously. I won’t let you go that far,” Gerard whispered, sharply. “Hide in my wardrobe, please, don’t leave me.”
“Hey, I won’t,” I gripped his hand and squeezed it; he glanced up, his eyes locking with mine. The eye contact was held for ages, I was disappointed because I had to break it as I heard his parents thump downstairs. I hid inside the wardrobe.
“Gerard,” I heard Mrs Way say. “Have you been taking your medicines?”
“Yes…” Gerard spoke half-heartedly, then coughed.
“You’ll have to stay off of school again.” Mr Way stated.
“But-”
“Yes, I know you can’t take it off of work because that will, of course, mean more to you than I do. I’m not surprised. You do think I’m a freak, don’t you? You hardly ever want to spend time with me, it’s all Mikey. You hate me. Admit it,” It made my stomach churn to listen to Gerard say this. I wanted to sprint out and hug him.
“Gerard Arthur! Don’t speak to us like that!” And with that, the stomping of footsteps faltered, and I knew his parents had left. I slipped out from the wardrobe, to see Gerard crying, his hands covering his beautiful face.
“Hey, Gerard,” I said, softly, sitting next to him and removing his hands. “Look at me,”
He struggled to meet my gaze, his tears dripping down his cheeks. I wiped them from his face, and hugged him, tightly.
“You’re not a freak,” I whispered in his ear. “Seriously, you’re not.”
Gerard sniffed, his numb hands fumbling with the cloth of my t-shirt, attempting to grip. I grabbed his hand again, holding it safely.
“Everything will be okay,” I reassured him.
“I wasn’t going to tell you about my problem, when I first came to the school… And I thought you were going to be a fat old man,” Gerard giggled, slightly, looking up at my through his long, black eyelashes which were still damp from tears.
“Well, do I look like a fat old man?” I laughed, slightly.
“Nope, you’re the opposite.” Gerard placed his head on my shoulder. “You’ve helped me so much, you know. You may not realise it as all I do is cry, but you make me feel as if someone cares,”
“That’s because someone does care. I care. And I always will care. You may think that I think that you’re just another student, but you’re not. You never were to me. When I first looked at you, you weren’t just another student. You had your own spark, and you make me laugh. I like you, a lot, Gerard. Remember this.” I comforted him. Tears starting dropping from his eyes again. “Are you okay?!” I exclaimed.
“I’m crying with happiness, you idiot,” Gerard poked me, smiling. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me. You mean so much,” Gerard hugged me, the tightest yet, making me fall backwards on his bed. He giggled, and placed his head on my chest, and then took my arm in his left hand. With his right hand, he traced the lines and patterns of my tattoos. His touch made me shiver with pleasure. I watched him as he did it for ages, then finally, his eyes closed, and he made soft snoring noises. He still coughed every now and then in his sleep, however, he was perfect. He’s perfect. He always will be. No one can change that.

Notes

a/n: can u hear my cry