aime-moi vrai •frerard•

When the time comes, life will find it's way to sanity. For the time being, we are forced to live with what is handed to us. Insanity, vague reasons for unfortunate events, intolerable people and judgement, infactuations that will never be more than fantisised about. But when you find the happiness that is meant to be in your being, and when you discover your reason for living, being stained onto this planet, nothing else will matter. Forget the pain and sorrow. You're here for a reason. You just don't know it yet.

Frank Iero, fifteen year old orphan, didnt know it yet, but he was made to change the lives of a particularly broken family. He considered himself broken, but he wasn't. Just a little cracked. Very heal-able. He thought that his parents death would lead to his death. It had only been three days, and he missed his mothers gentle songs, kisses and hugs. He missed his fathers warm embrace when he achieved something he had previously worked hard for. The quiet yet discuss filled family dinners. His old life.

All things happen for a reason was complete bull pucky to the boy. In fact, he thought all things that happened were just God fucking with his life for his own amusement. He believed he was put on Earth just to be used when the great Heavens needed a laugh. Of course, Frank was raised a fairly strict Catholic, but that didn't mean he couldn't question God or his beliefs. He was still young, after all. And to him, it seemed like the walls of the world were caving in on him and he was suffocating. His breaths were slowly becoming more and more thin. He felt like he was dying. With each thought of his parents death, it made him sick and dizzy all over again.

And now, here he was. Sitting in the office of the Belleville orphanage. He never in a billion years would've thought that he would be an orphan. And the worst part was that nobody ever adopted teenagers. They always adopted infants. So from the looks of it, Frank was gonna be here a while. But when he thought about it, would he even want another family other than his own, real blood relative parents? He might've actually been more content with just being his own family in the orphanage. Which was probably what was going to happen. He could always pretend he had his parents back. But what good would that do? It could probably make him insane. Then they would send him to an asylum, not an orphanage. Would that be better?

"Frank, you'll be staying here until further notice." The lady behind the desk informed him. That made him cringe. Until further notice could mean so many things. It could mean forever, a day, an hour, a week, etc. It honestly scared him. But then again, everything was scaring him. Every single thing. What kind of life was that to live?

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it here. There are many other kids your age, plus you're permitted to go see the younger ages." He stayed silent. What was there to say? And he was almost positive that if any words were to come out of his mouth, it would be "fuck off, please." And he knew better. That would cause even more trouble. He's not a dumb kid. He was just afraid he wouldn't be able to control his mouth. The words were just going to slip out. He was so lost without his parents...

Frank only nodded timidly as the lady looked at him through her large bright red 50's glasses. She folded and clapped papers together that were most likely information involving Frank. He was frightened and unsure. But he figured every kid or teenager who was going into an orphanage would feel the same way. It was just so unfair. He was still traumatized from his parents death, and everything was happening too quickly. It was like he had only blinked his eyes a couple times and here he was, being lead down a long corridor, filled with several cobwebs and old, wooden doors.

- This building had been around for several, serval years. In the mid, late 1800s, it was used as an asylum. During the early 1900s it was changed into a small hotel. By the 1930s, it was confirmed as this orphanage. It was quite amazing to Frank. He looked at the pictures in thin frames littering the walls. Dates were printed under the pictures centering the frames. Frank was a smart boy. He had done his research on this place before stepping foot in it, even though he was shattered by his parents absence of life. The library had always been his second home, and often times he would seek comfort there. After he was told he would be taken to the orphanage, he stocked up on books about the history of the location.

He knew that in the mid to late 1800's, when it was titled an insane asylum, many if not most of the patients weren't even mentally ill. A large percentage of the women checked in were in there because they were rebellious to their husbands, disobeying them and trying to search for their own freedom. To other citizens, that was madness, apparently. He understood the discomfort he felt not only because of the situation he was in, but also because of the foul treatment many received, possibly right where he was standing.

As for the hotel, he didn't discover anything too crazed about the era. A fact he was rather happy about. Not that he could even be happy. Well, you understand, yeah? He just thought it was fascinating that so many others walked where he was then. Historical beings, even. So the dates under the photographs, yes, he could decipher which title the building held at the time.

"Frank, please, sweetie. Keep up." The lady who was leading Frank spoke softly. Frank trembled involuntarily, earning a sympathetic lip pursing from the lady. Frank was curious as to what the woman's name was, but he didn't dare speak a word. He wouldn't. He couldn't. As they continued walking, Frank strained his neck in attempt to see a name tag or something, but he eventually gave up, as her walking-posture was too swerve filled.

They reached a door that was navy blue and had stickers on them of numerous things, like cars, stars, animals, and silly monsters. It made Franks lip twitch in a failed attempt to smile. It did comfort him, though. He had just... Forgotten how to smile. The women opened the door, revealing numerous beds. All twin sized, and in a perfect line on both sides of the wall. Each bed was perfectly made, and the comforters were a navy blue color like the door. The off white sheets and pillows made it look darker.

"You're bed is over there, right next to that little window. You can get yourself comfy and at home while we continue looking through your files. Okay?" The lady who led him here informed him softly, handing Frank his small bag filled with his things. He nodded once again, shakier as she shut the door. Frank wondered where all the other boys were, but was grateful for the pace and quiet. He needed it.

Frank set his little bag down and laid himself down on the springy bed, laying atop of the comforter and closing his eyes. He was tired and exhausted, and all he had on his mind was one thing. Something he'd longed for for the past three days, but just couldn't seem to find the courage to do so. Sleep.

Notes