Out There

I woke up disorientated, finding it hard to recognise the dark room. When my eyes adjusted I remembered I was in Mikey's room, my best friend and as of last night, my ex-boyfriend. What had woken me up? It wasn't time to get up because the sun wasn't even up. Right then I heard the sound of the kettle going off. Gerard must be awake, because Mikey was on the floor next to the bed. I checked my phone, the time was 4:40. Ugh, it was too early for this shit. But I wanted to take the opportunity of the early morning to talk to Gerard, because it was obvious there were still things that needed resolving.

I walked down the stairs, trying to make my steps as quiet as possible. As I entered the kitchen, Gerard was facing away from me looking down at his coffee cup on the counter, presumably lost in his own thoughts. I tried not to make any noise so I could just observe him for a little longer, without having him knowing I was there. "Morning" he said sleepily, without even turning to me, which made me jump slightly.

"Why do you do that?" I grumpily asked, as he turned around to reveal a small, playful smile pulling at his lips. My grumpiness suddenly disappeared as a observed him a little more, but differently this time. Although he was looking slightly rough from the night before, he still looked amazing in the morning. I then noticed the way his sweats hung off his hips. I was pulled away from my thoughts because I noticed I must have been staring too much at him, because he his smile grew wider.

"Do what? I wasn't the one who thought they were being sneaky, and creeping up on someone" he said playfully. He sauntered over to me and lent on the counter, now making us millimetres apart.

"Well, I WAS woken up by some idiot boiling the kettle at 5 in the morning! and I was not sneaking!" I taunted sarcastically, nudging him in his side. We sat in a comfortable silence for about 2 minutes, when I felt his eyes on me. I took this as an advantage to bring up a few things that were bothering me, and I knew they weren't going to be easy talk about, even though I didn't really want to disturb the good mood he was in, I turned to him and met his gaze. When I did, the look on his face had changed, I couldn't really tell what he was thinking, but I was really hoping the hangover hadn't kicked in.

"Gerard, I think there might be a few things we have to talk about" I said in a stern voice, instantly earning me a concerned and worried look from him. I carried on talking "even though i've broken up with Mikey, and I technically did chose you, that doesn't mean i'm going to spend any less time with him." Before I had said this I wasn't even really sure if it was worth saying and it would just be an unnecessary argument. His face suddenly dropped, so judging by this, he wasn't happy.

"What do you mean by that?" He said, sounding slightly more agitated now. He also folded his arms making a slight distance between us. "What I mean is, I was hoping you didn’t expect me me to start distancing myself from him. He's still my best friend" I said sternly, not wanting to give him any wiggle room, because I could tell by just looking at his face, he was annoyed.

He moved to the other side of the kitchen counter, distancing us further and let out a sigh. As he did this he poured himself a coffee, he gestured to me offering me one, but I shook my head. I wanted to talk about this, even more so because it was clearly an issue.

"Well?" I prompted "Its obviously an issue, Gerard". He took a sip and placed the coffee down "I thought you said you were going to have to choose" he asked, earning a confused look from me "I did, I broke up with him, I chose you" I said "thats not usually how breakups go, I think you're acting a little naive, Aeida" There it was again, him talking down to me, making me feel two feet tall.

"I said I wanted to go back to how we were before to him, back to being friends, why can't we?" I said, feeling my anger growing. "You really think people stay friends after breakups, seriously?" He said, not even looking up from his coffee cup, I could tell he was only being like this because he was jealous, which is idiotic, but expected "So what do you want me to do?! Just ignore him? Devote all my time to you? We're all he has, Gerard. How could you be so fucking selfish?!" I shouted, grabbing his attention and his gaze.

"Oh! I'm the fucking selfish one? How do you think its going to make me feel, my girlfriend hanging around with her ex-boyfriend - my brother, just as much as she did when they were dating?!" He raged, letting his hands grasp the edge of the counter "How do I know he won't try something again?" He questioned, which made my face go red with anger, how could he even ask that?

I couldn't take much more of this, this childish arguing, but I needed to hold up my argument. "Seriously? I thought you two were meant to be resolving things, and I know i'm not doing great with the whole friend thing right now, but I still want him in my life, I need him!" I barked, at this point I stormed out, knowing this was going absolutely nowhere. We weren't even together properly and we were already fighting like dogs.

"Yeah, run away why don't you? Back to Mikey, or better yet, maybe FRANK?! That fucking creep from the car!" He yelled from the kitchen as I stomped up the stairs "MAYBE I FUCKING WILL, GERARD. YOU FUCKING IDIOT" I Screamed from the top of the stairs. I'm pretty sure I heard a muffled sentence after that, but right now I couldn't give a shit. I stormed into the hallway, suddenly remembering that Mikey had been up here the whole time. Shit, I hoped he wasn't awake.

I cracked open the door and crept in, I could usually tell if Mikey was fake sleeping, but he had his face covered by his hands and the blanket. I just had to hope he hadn't heard, because it wouldn't take a genius to work out what me and Gerard had been arguing about, even if you had only heard the parts where we were shouting. It really wasn't the way I wanted him to find out.

I got back into bed, hoping to get some more sleep. As I thought more about what had happened, I could feel my eyes start to sting and well up. This was too much, on top of everything else, it was just too much. I tried to hold back my tears but I couldn't, there was no stopping the fact that I needed to cry. After a few minutes I heard some rustling and realised Mikey must have been awake. I heard the light switch on and felt the light on my face, I opened my eyes to see Mikey knelt by the bed with a concerned look on his face.

"What’s wrong, Aeida? Why are you crying?" he asked, with a puzzled look on his face. When I didn't answer he pulled me into an embrace and got in the bed with me, letting me sob into his chest. I heard him switch the light off and suddenly we were in the dark again. I could feel myself drifting in and out of sleep, comforted by my friends presence. This is what I needed right now, I needed him. And with that, I fell asleep.

Notes

Hi there friends! My name's Ally and i'm new co-author, I'll probably be updating quite frequently because I'll have a lot of free time as of friday. I hope you like the chapter! :) Please comment

Love from Gossip sloth xoxo