Out There

"Aeida?" Mikey called from the other side of the door. I wiped my eyes and got up to open the door. "Hey," he paused and looked at me. "Your eyes are all red, have you got a fever or have you been smoking pot?" he joked, shutting the door and walking further into the room.

"You caught me." I threw my hands up and faked a smile. Mikey grabbed my hand and led me to sit on the bed with him. "Did my brother check on you?" Mikey asked grinning. I froze for barely a second, luckily Mikey didn't notice my tense stature and smiled goofily waiting for my response. "Yeah." I replied trying to push the smile back on my face. "You two seem to get on alright." he noted. "Anyway, I got you all your work and stuff. Your teachers send best wishes." he continued, bringing his hand to play with my hair and with the other he pulled his school bag off. "Gerard's locked himself in his room, probably working…" Mikey informed me. I contemplated telling Mikey about Mr. Way definitely not working and definitely getting shitfaced drunk.

"You're so quiet baby, are you feeling any better?" Mikey asked, pulling his hand away from my hair and only my jaw. Hearing him call me 'baby' felt so weird, I never liked that pet-name but I figured with Mikey it'd just take some getting used to. "Yeah, a little better. I'm not sure what made me feel so sick." I shrugged with a weak smile. "Do you feel sick now?" he asked, stroking my face with his thumb. It felt a little awkward but his hands were so gentle and soft that I enjoyed his touch. "No." I answered softly. He unexpectedly brought our lips together- I felt nervous and surprised which I couldn't help compare with the feeling I got when Gerard kissed me. Mikey made me feel happy, but not lightheaded and excited. Mikey was being gentle and caring while Gerard was lustful and wanting. I figured one thing Gerard would hate- even if us kissing was a 'mistake', would be if he found Mikey and myself kissing barely an hour after. I mentally slapped myself for thinking about Gerard while kissing Mikey then kissed Mikey back softly, searching for some kind of excitement and rush like I'd gotten with his brother but I just felt guilt. I pulled away momentarily allowing Mikey to gather his breath.

"I've been wanting to do that since the moment I met you." he panted, seemingly out of breath from our gentle exchange.
"When you kids are done with whatever the fuck that was, what do you want for dinner?" A very unsettled Mr. Way called from the door. He was still in his sweatpants and shirt. At first I felt my cheeks heat up, then I reminded myself that Gerard seeing Mikey and I was something I craved. "You're staying the night?" Mikey asked me, ignoring his brother. "I don't see why not." I cheerily replied- happy from my small victory. "She's not staying here if you two sleep together." Mr. Way growled. "You've been dating for what, a day? She can't stay here if she's going to give herself out like that." he added, rage in his eyes. I felt slightly offended and felt my cheeks heat even more before Mikey got up. "She has a fucking name, Gerard. First of all- I kissed her and that was it, stop making it out like she's a whore when we both know she's not. How fucking dare you insult her like that." Mikey defended me, slamming the door in his brothers face. "I was this close-" Mikey hissed, snapping his fingers. "To punching him in the face."

I stared at him in astonishment, I hadn't expected him to so willingly defend me when Gerard's argument did have a point. "Do you just want to order pizza?" he smiled at me.
Later on when the pizza arrived, we ate in the lounge room. He was telling me about what I'd missed at school; lessons, bitchfights and rumours included. We were interrupted by a loud 'thump' from the hallway. Mr. Way emerged walking like he'd only just learnt and he stunk of alcohol. "For fucks sake." Mikey said under his breath. "You fucking idiot Gerard! You said you'd stopped?" he was yelling now.

"Don't worry Mikey! I'm good it's just a one time thing! I feel fine!" Gerard cheered, crashing into the kitchen counter. "Woah there! Has this always been here?" he asked grinning.
"What the fuck? Are you high?" Mikey screamed, getting up from the couch and slowly approaching his brother.
"No." Gerard answered, but guilt plagued his face.
"You're a fucking teacher now, Gerard! You have a job and a life! What the fuck are you doing?"
"I'm sorry." Gerard frowned, then his eyes shifted to me.
"You couldn't of done this another fucking time too. God, what the fuck did you take?" Mikey hissed viciously.
"Uh.. I had like… four bottles and coke." Gerard whispered quietly, still looking at me. I was sure my eyes were wide with fear, I couldn't even bring myself to blink.
"Four bottles of what? And fucking cocain Gerard!? Are you insane? Do you not remember last time?" Mikey yelled, waving his hands around dramatically. You would think Mikey was the older brother in this situation. Had Mr. Way done this before?
"Four bottles of vodka." he mumbled. I felt uncomfortable being there to witness his apparent relapse, this wasn't something I felt like I should be involved in. Mikey only shook his head, then left to go where I'm assuming was Gerard's room to go find everything leaving me alone with his brother. I shut my eyes and prayed to whatever was out there that he wouldn't talk to me, but unfortunately whatever is out there is unreliable as I felt the couch dip and the stench of vodka and drugs surrounded me.

"Are you mad at me for getting drunk?" he said, looking slightly childish with a confused expression on his face.
"No." I breathed sitting still.
"Then are you mad at me for doing drugs?" he pressed, leaning closer towards me. Apparently all boundaries are disregarded when you're off your face.
"No, sir." I answered honestly. It wasn't my business to know or care about my teachers personal life.
"You know it's really hot when you call me Sir." he whispered, I blushed and then he leaned back to his side of the couch. "Are you mad because I say stuff like that?" he asked. He was being extremely unlike his usual charming and intelligent self, much like a different person.

I shook my head. "I'm mad if anything because you kissed me then you called it a mistake. I don't care about… the other stuff."
"I lied. It wasn't a mistake I just said that because you thought it was." he explained, giggling like a 5 year old. "If it was a mistake, I would know not to do it again but I totally want to." he added, then giggled again. It was sort of adorable when he giggled- his shoulders subtly shook and his chest caved in. His cheeks grew puffy under his eyes and a genuine smile appeared on his alcohol laced lips.

I was about to tell him it wasn't a mistake and I wanted to do it again too, but Mikey joined us in the room- reminding me that it was indeed a mistake. Even though it felt like it wasn't.

"Mikey!" Gerard smiled, seeming happy to see his little brother again. "Where'd you go? You're getting so tall, like taller than me probably. That's so weird because you're younger than me. Aedia's younger than me too but I don't really care." he babbled. "I think I'm gonna throw up." was the last thing he said before vomiting on the coffee table, allowing it to splatter onto the floor.
We put Gerard into his bed, which was now clear of the bottles. His room absolutely stunk. It occurred to me that Gerard had probably done more than cocain, but I didn't say anything. He eventually settled, but not before talking about how Mikey was a giant and how I could probably climb him like a bean stalk. Mikey chuckled at that. That dirty minded bastard.

"Go to sleep." Mikey ordered, turning away from his brother to leave. "Aeida I'm really sorry." Gerard attempted to whisper. Mikey turned around curiously, which provoked my panic. "It's fine, go to sleep." I hushed him, not wanting his to bring up our kiss otherwise Mikey would probably actually punch him in the face. "I didn't mean to, I only did this because I felt bad. I wanted it to go away." he whined. Mikey crossed his arms and looked at his brother, trying to make sense of what he was saying. I didn't completely understand either, and it was probably better that way. I went to go leave with Mikey but Gerard cried out. "No, don't go please. I need to know you forgive me."

"Forgive him for what?" Mikey whispered to me. I couldn't take my eyes away from Gerard's dark pleading eyes. "I don't know. He probably just embarrassed for me seeing him like this." I bluffed. "Please don't leave." Gerard begged, seemingly distressed. "She can't stay in here Gerard." Mikey sighed, probably exhausted from hauling Gerard from the couch to his bed. "Sure she can!" Gerard beamed. His mood changes were giving me whiplash.

Mikey gave me a look asking if I'd be okay on my own with Gerard. I nodded at him and smiled, then he left the room. I walked up to Gerard's bed and kneeled before him. He leaned over to me and rested his head on his hand. "Can you forgive me? I felt so bad and I needed to get it away but it only made it worse." he whined.

"You're making no sense." I chuckled, shaking my head.
"I felt so bad for kissing you- y'know because it was sexual assault and, you're dating my brother." he sighed. "And what I used to do, I used to get really drunk and take drugs to take the sadness away- that was when I was living away from here. So I found my old stuff and, it didn't work. It got worse, you are all I can think about." he smiled. I guess he was the happy high/drunk type. "Sir, it wasn't sexual assault. I kissed you back. It was wrong because I'm dating Mikey, but it's okay. You don't need to ask for forgiveness." I explained.
"Noooo." he whined. "When you call me 'sir' it makes me want to kiss you more." he complained in a huff. I giggled and that and put my hands on my knees to get up.

"I'm so selfish." he muttered, causing me to stay down. "Why?" I asked curiously. "Because I want, I need you and Mikey to break up. So I can kiss you and not feel so bad." he went on, his eyes slowly fluttering indicating he was tired. "It's not right anyway. You're my teacher." I whispered. "And you're my student." he mumbled before closing his eyes completely.

I stared at him in his state of peace, the crease between his brows had completely disappeared and he looked to careless sleeping like that. I tore myself away from him and got up. There was definitely a problem, if I was so willing to go to my boyfriends brother, maybe I shouldn't be with my boyfriend at all. But I couldn't dump him so suddenly then run off with his brother. I had to choose between them- and I had to do it soon.

"Everything alright?" Mikey's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Yeah, I think he's pretty out of his mind." I frowned. "He hasn't… he doesn't do this." Mikey sighed. I nodded in understanding. "So do you want to finish that pizza now or…?"


A/N: Short chapter but y'know let me know what you think!!!!!! !!!! !! <3 :) what do you think of Gerard turning to drugs?

Notes