Don't tell mom

When I woke up my room was dark and I felt like my head was going to explode, it was probably the worst hangover I'd ever experienced. I mean, if you had worse, please share but this was almost torture. Plus the rain outside only made things worse, AND it wasn't just rain, it was a full out god damn thunder storm. Knowing that with my headache and the rain wouldn't go away anytime soon, I supposed it was probably a good idea to get out of my bed and do something. But of course thinking this idea was far easier than actually getting up, I literally did not want to get out of the warm nest I'd been sleeping in for who knows how long.

Of course my clock was on my desk ACROSS from my room and I couldn't even read the time I really had no choice but get out of bed if I wanted to see what was left of the day. I was surprised that I was fully dressed when I stood back up, so Gerard either had the decency to help me get dressed or we didn't do anything it all. But my reflection answered that question when I found a huge hickey on my neck surrounded by little baby bruises.

Supposing that Gerard left other surprises and love bites on me, I made my way to my door. I made sure my mom was gone before I jumped behind the bathroom door, this day was not a good day to explain why I came home drunk as a peanut. But I carried on and took off my shirt and pulled my pants down and I was surprised at how bare my chest was, but as I turned my sight down lower there were hickies scattered across my stomach and leading down to my hips and that's when it hit me.

Gerard doesn't suck dick.

Thoughts nailed their way in my head and I found myself in my room again and I began tearing through my blankets and digging through my pockets when I found my phone. Right away a text popped up.

12:47 p.m
Colin:
How's your head feeling?

After reading the text I checked the time and already my whole day was gone and my mom would be home any minute, taking that it's quarter to seven. I let out a weird sound that was a sigh mixed with a growl and I never saw myself get dressed as fast as I did, finding myself outside just moments later. But once I stood in the rain I couldn't find myself moving. I felt like the clouds above me were following me like I was guilty, but I was guilty. I stabbed Gerard in the back and I didn't even stop myself. Two parts of me wanted to do two different things. The devil on my shoulder told me to just leave things as they were but the angel in the other side of me told me that I needed to tell Gerard.

Taking Mr. Innocent's advice, I made my way down Gerard's street. Like usual their drive way was empty and I ran up to the door. I found it dumb and pointless to knock so I tried letting myself in but the door was locked, so I made my way around the house to the back. Surprisingly I found a figure's head hanging over their lap with wet black hair flopping down. I sighed before I made my way towards Gerard.

"Hey, how's it going?" my voice was small as I walked close to him.

Gerard kept his head down for a moment and brought it up afterwards, "nice hickey." he sorta just mumbled before bringing his head down.

I know I shouldn't argue with what he said and that I fucked up last night, but hearing him say that, and in that way made me feel really bad.

"Look, I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to.. Colin's just an old friend and-"

"Frank, I don't care." Gerard cut in, his voice was dull.

"Then why are you sitting out here like this? Gerard, I said I'm sorry."

"Well maybe not everything's about you, Frank."

"Then who is this about? Is it Colin? Gerard I'm not dumb, I know your feelings are fucked." my voice was a little more aggressive than I intended it to be and I knew it was too aggressive when Gerard just sat there again, turning his head away from me and towards the groud. He breathed out a heavy sigh and his hands went through his drenched hair and he looked back at me.

"No one.. It's about no one."

Together we sighed again and we once more stood in silence. We both stared at the ground or to each other. After a while I caught Gerard turning to me more than he looked at the ground. I turned to him again and this time he was standing. We stood face to face, and our eyes locked. It was instinct to close my eyes when I saw his head tilt to the left slightly, and soon enough I felt his hands grabbing me and his mouth on mine.

I kissed him back and we it seemed like a malarky movie scene since we were kissing in the rain. But some how I found myself really into it and we continued just that. We just kissed and soon our tongues were in each other's mouths. My breath hitched when Gerard's hands suddenly slipped under my legs and threw me against the wall. Of course the impact of my back slamming onto the side of the house hurt like a bitch but the idea gave my pain else where and I found my pants shrinking on me.

"Gerard, it hurts."

"C'mon this is so hot though." His breath was sent right down my neck and his hips rubbed against my crotch, I almost started shivering on the spot.

"That's not what I meant, Einstein."

"Let's do it out here then." Gerard moved his face towards my neck and his teeth and tongue attacked my skin, his knee went between my legs and his hands tried tearing off my hoodie.

"Gerard, we're outside. Someone's going to see us."

"Please, I can't wait much longer." I missed the interaction once Gerard pulled his face off my neck and now faced me. His eyes stared straight into mine and he tugged my hand. He shoved my hand down his pants and in his boxers. He did the whole thing with his eyes locked on mine. "I need you."

Suddenly I felt obligated to comply with him and I slowly nodded my head and gave Gerard a full invitation to do whatever the fuck he had in mind. Not too long after my signal I heard belts ringing and felt cold hands undo my pants and tore them off with my boxers and Gerard's pants were only down to his knees.

Taking it up against a wall wasn't what I had in mind but what do you expect when all you do is fuck each others brains out like a bitch in heat. But I'd be lying of I said the experience was bad. I mean, yeah it was weird that our balls were soaking wet from the rain but the heat from Gerard against the cold air felt amazing and I couldn't compare it to anything else.

Just then I started getting the feeling of ecstasy in my stomach and like always I had to bite down on Gerard's should to keep myself from screaming bloody murder.but Gerard had different intensions and he put in no effort to hold in his voice, and it wasn't quiet. His voice just covered the sounds of my back hitting against the wall harder and harder until the two of us fed off of each other and cried out to the bliss that followed shorty.

That was pretty much it, after that Gerard just stood in front of me and my feet fell back to the ground. My pants were still around my ankles but Gerard had already pulled his back up. I felt his eyes on me the whole time I was throwing my clothes back on, but when I brought my head up his eyes moved else where. I pulled Gerard into an embrace to find some warmth against the cold air. It was odd that I felt Gerard tense up for a second but wrapped his arms around my waist. I don't know what made me do it, or if it was just the situation we had been in but the words just came out.

Gerard didn't return the 'I love you' but instead pulled away. He hesitated. "Uh, I have to go. I need to get some things from the store for Mikey." he turned, his hands running through his hair.

"Can I come?"

"Not today Frank, my parents are coming home tonight." his voice started fading away as he walked from me.

"I thought we did everything together." I followed him, grabbing his hand but he only tore it from my own.

"I said some other time." his voice was harsh and aggressive, he paused for a second but instead of an apology he just sighed and continued walking. And I stayed in that spot in the rain and watched his figure walk away from me.

Notes

Hello, a lot of things have happened. Remember Chris from Sex and Violence? The actual dude stalked my Instagram and I kinda freaked out. And the ladies who cut my hair liked anti flag and was a fan of Justin and it was really cool. I have other story ideas, I have original stories and two screen plays and I've been doing great. Warped tour is in like 3 days and I'm excited, I finally get to see Less Than Jake. But yeah, you know what to do.

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Chelsea