I'm Okay. Trust Me

Frank's POV

I sat on the edge of Gerard's bed, clutching a pillow to my chest as I waited for him to get out of the shower.
My mind raced. I was dying to know what words were exchanged between Gerard and Mikey, but Gerard wouldn't tell me. He seemed very shaken up after he came back inside from talking to Mikey. He seemed distant, like he was thinking hard about something. And whenever I asked, he would refuse to tell me, firmly, but gently, and tried to reassure me that everything was okay though I didn't believe him and I don't think he believed himself either.

I sighed and fell back onto the bed, closing my eyes. I took a deep breath and a sudden wave of exhaustion crashed over me. Soon I felt myself drifting deeper and deeper into sleep.

I wake in a dimly lit room, I'm on my knees, sitting on my heels. Once my eyes adjust to the light, I realize there is a gun on the floor in front of me.
Another light flickers on to reveal three people in front of me, tied to chairs. I recognize all three of them immediately. Mikey sits in the chair to the left. My mother sits in the chair to the right. And Gerard sits in the middle.
They're all asleep, their heads hanging to the sides.

My heart stops when I hear footsteps approaching behind me. I brace myself, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to get the image of the faceless beast that I know is coming up behind me out of my head.
Suddenly, the footsteps stop and a I feel a sharp pain in my side.

“Get up” demands the creature. His voice deep and throaty, familiar.

I stand, wincing as I do, though I do not turn around to face the monster.

I grit my teeth and growl “What do you want?”

“Pick up the gun” it says.

I bend down slowly, and grasp my hand around the handle of the gun. The cold metal making me shiver.

“You have a decision to make. You can save two of the people in front of you, but to do so, you must take the life of one of them using the weapon you're holding”

The dreaded panic that I always feel in my dreams starts to bubble up inside me, but I swallow it. I already know my what my decision will be.

I step forward and as I do, Mikey, Gerard, and my mother all begin to stir. They are waking. I freeze and dig my teeth into the inside of my cheek.

Once they are all awake, they stare at me, their eyes full of confusion.

I look my mom directly in the eyes and see the woman I hadn't seen in God knows how long. Her hazel eyes are wide and alert. Her dark brown hair is pulled back into a clean ponytail. I forgot how beautiful my mother could be.

I quickly pull myself back. She said I was a mistake. That she should have aborted me. That I deserved what my father did to me. I don't care if she was drunk when she said it, the hate in her voice was real.

I breathe hard and take another step forward. I lift my hand that's clutching the gun.
My mother gasps.

“Frank.. Frank, what are you doing?” her voice is soft, yet frantic.

I aim the gun directly at her head.

Mikey's mouth falls open and Gerard looks away. My mother's face becomes contorted with worry and shock.

She speaks again, her voice louder this time. “Frank, you can't do this. I'm your mother. I love you”

I grit my teeth. In a small voice I reply “No you don't”

She furrows her eyebrows. “What?” she asks.

Suddenly, something erupts inside me. I scream.

“YOU DON'T FUCKING LOVE ME! YOU SAID I WAS A MISTAKE! YOU SAID I DESERVED WHAT DAD DID TO ME! EVEN THOUGH HE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU TOO! I TRIED TO SAVE US, TO SAVE YOU! BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO FUCKING SCARED! AND WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN HE FINALLY GETS LOCKED UP?! YOU FUCKING TRY AND GET RID OF THE HURT AND GUILT WITH ALHCOHOL! I HATE YOU!”

I press the barrel to her forehead and pull the trigger back. The gunshot is followed by Gerard and Mikey's shrieks.
I stumble back and fall down. The gun goes clattering across the floor.
Soon, Gerard and Mikey's screams seem to stop. Or maybe it's just because my sobs drowned them out.


Gerard's POV

Frank's screams make my heart stop. I quickly flip the shower nozzle off and wrap I towel around my waist. I scurry out of the bathroom leaving a trail of wet footprints behind me.

When I run into my room, I see Mikey frantically trying to wake Frank up, who's screams had turned into sobs.
I push Mikey to the side and grab Frankie's shoulders firmly.

In a gentle voice, I say “Frankie, hun, it's me, Gerard. Wake up”

Frank stirs a little more and then his eyes open. They're full of worry, terror, yet there seems to be a hint of relief.

“Gerard” he chokes, “I shot her.. I shot my fucking mom” he lets out another sob.

“Frankie” I say shakily, “You didn't shoot anyone. It's okay”
He looks up at me, his eyes red and puffy, his cheeks glistening with tears. He grabs my wrists, pulling me down, and tightly secures his arms around me.
I wrap my arms around his small, shaking body and hold him, my wet hair causing droplets of water to soak into his shirt.

“Gerard” he says softly, after a moment.

“Yes?” I reply.

“It made me shoot her”

I swallow hard and look up, realizing Mikey is still there. His eyes meet mine and he just shakes his head, sighing.

Maybe Mikey is right about Frank.

Maybe there is something wrong with him.

Notes

OH HI LOOK I'M ALIVE

Ohhhhh myyyyy goodnesssss I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. My updates won't be on a strict schedule for the next two weeks or so cuz there's a lot of stuff going on, but I will try my best to update as much as I possibly can cuz I love you guys :3

Anyway, Frank's dreams are getting more realistic and he's starting to have more control in them. What do y'all think? Oh, and the title for this chapter was indeed inspired by MCR's song Mama. I think it fit really well.

xo