I'm Okay. Trust Me

Frank's POV

On the bus ride after school, Gerard asked me if I wanted to come over to his house. It was tempting and very hard to say no, but I had definitely over-stayed my welcome and it was time for me to go home.
I trudged through the door and immediately went up to my room. My mom's car was in the driveway so I knew she was home and I didn't want anything to do with her at the moment.

I started working on homework since I didn't have anything better to do. A part of me regretted denying Gerard's offer. I missed him, despite the fact that I was with him not even 45 minutes ago. I missed his gentle touch, his warm skin against mine, his giggles and smirks, his smell a mixture of coffee and cigarettes. I know some people think smoking is gross, but even though I have never seen him do it (at least not yet) smoking fit Gerard's personality in some weird way. Besides, his breath never smelled like cigarettes, probably because he was always chewing gum. I liked to think he did it to be considerate to me. I had a feeling I was right.
My thoughts were interrupted by my door swinging open to reveal my hungover, yet still wasted mother. She wore dirty pajama bottoms, a loose tank top in which one strap was off her shoulder. Her hair was thrown into a poorly made messy bun, her makeup smeared and eyes half-lidded and bloodshot. She gripped a can of beer in one hand and the other clutched the door frame to keep herself steady. I found it a miracle that she made it upstairs.

“So, decided to come crawling back to mama, huh?” she slurred.
“Mom, please-”
“Oh shut up. You're pathetic. A waste of space just like your father. The only good thing that man ever did was beat the shit out of you”
I swallowed hard. Tears stung my eyes. I blinked them away.
She continued, “You know, if they ever let that scumbag out of prison, he's coming for you. You're the little bitch that ratted him out. He's gonna make sure you pay”

I stood up to face my mother, balling my hands into fists. “I did it for us! He didn't just beat me, he beat you too and made me watch! Oh wait, do you not remember? Probably not. You probably don't even remember my name because you're just a drunk whore now!” I screamed. I was hurt. Furious. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
“Shut the hell up! I knew I should have aborted you! You were a mistake anyway! You were created because your lousy father's condom broke, not because we wanted you!”

I froze. My stomach dropped. I was a mistake. Unplanned. Unexpected. I had been unwanted since my mother found out she was pregnant, and I still was.
The tears that I had been holding back leaked from my eyes. They rolled down my cheeks to my mouth. They were salty. How come tears tasted salty, but didn't sting your eyes like saltwater did?

“Oh for God's sake, get yourself together you little fag” my mother retorted, then clumsily turned around and left, slamming the door shut.

I broke down. My sobs loud and ugly. I gasped for air and tried to steady my breathing. It reminded me of my meltdown I had at Gerard's. How Mikey heard me and tried to calm me down. How he yelled for Gerard and he came running down the hall. How Gerard held me and rocked me slowly.
Without a second thought, I grabbed my phone and dialed Gerard's number.

“Hello?” Gerard answered.
“Gerard” I said, trying to hide the quivering in my voice.
“Frankie, what's wrong?”
“Listen to me Gerard, I need to stay the night again. Just one more night, I promise and then I'll find somewhere else to stay. I can't live with my mother anymore. Please Gerard, I can't do this. I can't-”
“I'll be there in ten minutes. Have your stuff ready, okay?”
“Okay, but I-”
“Frank, hun, be quiet. It's okay”
And with that, he ended the call.

Notes

Hi dears! I apologize for not updating yesterday, but hopefully this chapter makes up for it c: I'm very proud of it ^-^

xo