I Don't Love You

I stared at my wall, I did not want to see Frank’s face when I was about to tell him.

“A-and then when I was 12, when I had been living with my uncle for 2 years. H-he started to touch me when he was drunk, but after a couple of times he started to rape me.” I had tears slowly falling down my face, I had certainly been crying a lot recently. “I was 12 so I had no idea what was happening. After that happened he started to sell me out to people. I was being used. People would always complain “how I wasn't worth the pay” and then my uncle would beat me and he…” I hated this part, this was the worst part. “H-he would force me to train on him as he called it. I hated it that was the first time I started to cut and the first time I thought about suicide, I couldn't take it. I had so much shit happen to me in my short 12 years of life.”

I took a shaky breath. The story was going to get a little bit better.

“And then when I was 14, I stopped showing up to school for weeks without any reason as to why my teacher called the cops. My teacher always had a suspension but I never confirmed or denied it. When the police came I was tied to my dad’s bed, naked and crying with a gag in my mouth. They saw some of the scars I got from the whip my uncle used when I miss behaved; some of them even threw up.”

I didn't feel like going into all the stuff that happened to me afterwards. It wasn't important. “At the trial the judge gave him 30 years with no parole. I had put all my last living relatives in jail, I had no one to live with. So they put me in the foster care system. I went to four homes before I came to this one. Do you want to hear about them?” I wanted to make sure.

“Yeah, I want you to tell me everything. I want to understand you more.” He softly whispered into my ear. I nodded.

“My first home, they were never checked like they should be. The state just wanted me gone. They didn’t want to worry about me. My first family abused me. A family that was supposed to love me abused me. Ever since my uncle started to rape me, I withdrew from everyone. I had slowly started to come out until that family came, I just got worse. I was taken away from that family. My second family was not any better, they didn’t feed me. That’s why I don’t eat. I’m used to getting no food. I was taken from that one too. They never realized what was going on. They just kept on putting me with bad families. The third one kept me up for the six days I stayed with them. I developed insomnia. The fourth family was supposed to adopt me until…”


I stopped I did not want to tell Frank I was gay. Even though I have a feeling he already knows from when he kissed me, but is till didn’t want to say anything.

“What?” Frank gently prompted. I guess I had to tell him.

“They found out..i’m gay. They didn’t want a gay adopted son. They kicked me out.” I put my head down. Frank put his hand gently under my chin and tilted my head up. He softly kissed my lips. I kissed back, I just wanted someone to love me. I ahd been through so much shit, it’s the only thing I want.

“Oh Gee, I don’t care that you’re gay. You know I am.” He closed his eyes and rested his head against my forehead. I hugged him.

“Thanks Frankie.” I whispered. “But now, if you don’t mind the story is almost over.” He chuckled softly and nodded. “I was put in an orphanage. There were only 5 of us. The guy beat us if we were a diva. Let’s just say I was beaten a lot.” I laughed with no humor. “I was taken from that. I was taken by the Way’s, and honestly. I honestly feel like I’ve found a home here.” I finished. Before Frank could day anything, I heard my door creak open.

My head snapped up, I saw Mikey standing in the doorway with tears streaming down in eyes.

“Gerard, you have found a home here. And you will always have a home here.”

Notes

We hear the rest of what happende to Gee :( poor Gee