I'm Okay Now

"Hey I didn't mean to wake you" he said
"Don't worry you didn't" I replied as I tugged the covers over me. He slowly walked over the the end of the bed and sat down. I just stared at him as he glanced up at the ceiling, the silence got even more awkward by the second as we both looked at random things, trying to avoid eye contact. I sat up stright so it would be easier to talk to him. His dark brown hair fell just below his ears and it was a similar shade do the dark brown that outlined his hazel eyes.
"so what kind of bands are you into" I asked him trying to break the awkward silence. A smile appeared on his face and it was the most beautiful smile I have ever witnessed. Wait I couldent be- no I wasent- was I in love? No, no, no, no. He is my teacher. Just some really nice guy that happened to be my best friends brother.
"well.." He began showing off his eyes as they met mine. I could feel my heart start to beat faster every second I was with him.
We had this amazing conversation about our favorite music artists and bands, it turns out we had a lot more in common then I thought, which was great, finally someone out there like me. After our conversation we went to silence, it wasent weird, more like beautiful. We could even hear the night birds chirp outside the window when we fell silent enjoying the night sky. I walked over to the window that had a magnificent view that over looked the city, and sat down on the bench in front of the window. Mikey had an incredible view of new York since his house was on a hill. Within a matter of seconds Gerard joined me as we both admired the incredible view. a minute or so later the silence left the room.
"You know the cuts on your arm... Where they ever actually from... You doing that to yourself?" He knew that this was a sensitive subject for me, but why did he bring it up? It was hard for me to even think about that, let alone talk about it. I really wish I could just close my eyes and skip over that question, but after all he is doing for me, the least I could do is answer his damn question. His beautiful hazel eyes looked into mine but I just looked down in shame. "Some of them.. Not a lot though. Its just" I slowly moved my hand closer to the window so I could get closer to the skyline, then continued to talk. "My dad tells me, that I'm a worthless piece of shit, that no one would ever love me, and sometimes, well.. I believe him." I struggled to get the words out, I felt so ashamed of myself, how can I say that in front of him? He must think I'm a screwed up teenager now who is only seeking attention. I curled up into a ball, putting my head between my knees, and held back in all the tears that where trying to escape from my eyes.
"Hon, your not worthless. Your anything but." He said in such a soft voice. I looked up at him to see his gorgeous face looking at me. No one ever looked at me the way he dose, it was almost as if he cared about me, like he actually wanted to help me. Like he knew what I was feeling. I felt his warm arms wrap around my cold body, as he pulled me in close. It was the best feeling in the world. I actually felt like I could trust him, and Katy doesn't trust anyone.
"But I am worthless, no one loves me. My dad knows I can't do anything right, and my sister forgets I even exist, I only have two friends and they are the only ones that pay attention to my existence, sometimes I just can't take it anymore" I choked out. More tears fell from my eyes and off my check. As good as it felt letting go of all my thoughts and emotions, it still hurt to talk about it.
"Your not worthless" he said with his voice getting louder with every word that slipped out of his mouth. He made it clear that he was getting very frustrated with me and I don't blame him, he's spending so much time on someone that doesn't even matter, but why didn't he give up on me yet like everyone els did?
"Yes I am" I spoke as I released myself from his warm hug. I was getting very angry with myself so I did what I always did when I become scared and/frustrated, I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down, and thankfully it worked.
"Listen Kate" I stared at him blankly waiting for him to continue but he was struggling to get his words out "just- I- your not worthless and people love you, trust me. Both Mikey and I care for you and I don't like how you tell yourself lies. Just try to have positive thought. I understand that it's hard, trust me I've been in your shoes, but you can give it a try and see where it takes you." I continued to stare out at the city taking in what he just said, and once when I understood a smile flew across my face, this was the first time I knew I wasn't alone. It's been a while since I last smiled and honestly, it felt grate.
**gerards pov"
"just- I- your not worthless and people love you, trust me. Both Mikey and I care for you and I don't like how you tell yourself lies. Just try to have positive thought. I understand that it's hard, trust me I've been in your shoes, but you can give it a try and see where it takes you." She continued to stare out the window and I was scared how she was going to take it but in a matter of seconds she was smiling. This was the first time I've ever saw her smile and it was so pretty. If only she smiled more, what I would do to see that work of art again.
"Your simile is gorgeous" I said. Shit did I really just say that! Shit shit shit shit! She probably thinks I'm some sort of perv! My hands started shaking as my mind was flipping the fuck out. What do I say now!
"Well- I- I mean- like- that was the first time you- you ever smiled and it's- it's nice to see you happy" oh my god I'm such a creep but when I looked up from my feet, to my surprise she was blushing. I thought she would run away from my pervey self but no, she stayed.
"Thanks gee" every word she spoke fell threw my ears like honey.
"Sorry about that"
"Why would you say sorry"
"You probably think I'm some sort of creep"
"No, not at all. I think that you are extremely sweet" now I was the one that was blushing, and the smile on her face never disappeared.
The last thing I rememberd was still feeling my hands shaking as I lost all controll over my body.

Notes

I wonder what happens next chapter