I'm Okay Now

**Alicia's pov**
I needed some time alone to get a hold of myself. I was thinking about leaving but that would be rude to just bail on everyone all of a sudden. Also I don't want frank to feel any more guilty then he already does. After all, it's not his fault at all. I love Mikey, yes. But I'm not in love with him. We sorta took big steps into our relationship without the right amount of time to adjust. He's such a kind guy with no bad in him, and that just might be the problem. Maybe that's what I feel right around frank. Cuz he's outgoing and willing to make mistakes while at the same time has a kind heart. I walked up the wooden stairs that never creeks until I reached Mikey's room. Without hesitation I entered the small room and plopped myself down on his bed and started to cry. I have never cried over a guy before. Usually a girl only needs one person to make her feel better, but for me, it will hurt no matter what decision I make. If I choose frank I will be in a better relationship, but Mikey gets hurt. But if I stay with Mikey I'll be bored and not really want it anymore, but no one gets hurt. It's these kind of situations that make me want to punch a wall. The pillow was closer so I decided to use that as my punching bag. All of my surrounding smells reminded me of Mikey, I didn't deserve to be here. I got so caught up in my thoughts about the future that when someone started knocking on the door, I nearly had a heart attack.
"Come in!" I said, trying to sound as cheerful and normal as I possibly could. It really wasn't working out to well. Katy and Mikey walked into the room looking the same since I last was them about 10 minutes ago. Kat was still wearing a supernatural tee and tied her long brown hair up in a neat ponytail. While Mikey didn't even bother to brush his hair.
"Hey Alicia" Katy spoke with a soft voice " y- you looked like you where sick earlier on. Is everything alright?"
"Yea." I instantly replied. "Just a- a h-headache I guess. I'm starting to feel a little bit better tho." I did my best to keep a straight face but I was never good at acting, I had the look of guilt ever where.
"Do you want anything to help with the headache?" Mikey asked, trying to be helpful. Right now the last thing that I want is to take anything els from him.
"Nah it's fine, thanks tho" I replied as I turned my gaze back to the ceiling. "It's starting to pass anyways. I'll be back downstairs soon"
"Kay I love you" he instantly stated as he started making his way to the door. I didn't know if I should say it back so I didn't and hoped that he wouldn't notice. Well thankfully he didn't, but what's even worse was that Kat did.
"As soon as Mikey left, Katy instantly turned to me and continued with her glare.
"Spill" she demanded as soon as she knew Mikey was no where near. I really don't want to tell Kate what's happening, but I suck at keeping my own secrets. And besides, I think I can trust her with anything, after all she is my best friend. My thought felt as dry as a dessert and it was as if it was on fire. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. It took me a couple of treys until I was finally able to say something without being caught up in all the tears that started pouring from my eyes.
"Kate, I fucked up bad"

Notes