The Ghost From Our Past

I could hear the tremble in his voice when he said my name over the phone. He thought I was Lindsey calling him, but then I told him it was me. It was good to hear his voice but knew I didn't have long before Matthew returned. This needed to be quick and to the point.

"Gerard, I'm with Matt. He's taking us to New Jersey, I don't know exactly where we are now."

"Okay, are you at a hotel or had satiation?"

"Gas station, it's called Linkin Gas and Go. I don't have much time, I just wanted to say I'm sorry an goodbye."

"Shiloh, I'm going to find you."

"Please just forget about me, you need to have a normal life again. You won't ever have that if I'm still in it." There was silence, I looked up to see Matt on his way back. "Gee, I have to go. I love you." Quickly I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket. Matthew got in the car, he handed me a water and smiled. "Thank you."

I noticed him looking around for something. It wasn't until I felt the heat on my face and the pain in my stomach that I realized what he was searching for. Witnesses, once he saw it was clear he slapped and punched me. I cried out in pain but he was quick to cover my mouth with his hand.

"You disappoint me Shiloh, I thought you would be a good girl and behave. Who did you call and what did you tell them?" My eyes were watering from the sharp pain from the punch. He removed his hand so I could answer him.

"I didn't call anyone!" Another slap, "Matthew please stop!"

"Tell me the truth Shy, that's all I ask. You're making me hurt you when I don't want to. This wasn't suppose to be this way, why do you have to act up?"

"Gerard."

"What?"

"I called Gerard but I swear I didn't tell him anything. All I said was for him to forget about me." He leaned in closer to me, I flinched thinking another slap would come. Instead he kissed my cheek and wiped away my tears. Matt reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone, he turned it on and looked.

"Now see was telling the truth really that hard."

"Matthew, what happened to you? Somewhere deep down has to be the man that I loved. That took me to an arcade on a date and who was my very first."

I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. There was a hint of sorrow, like he knew what he was doing was wrong. "I'm sorry Shiloh, for all the bad I've done but I promise I have gotten help. I'll prove I am better and the same man you love." He turned the car back on and started to drive again.

All I could do was stare out the window, I didn't know how I was feeling. I wasn't happy, upset or angry, I felt nothing. It was almost like I gave up, accepted this as my fate. What else could I do? Little squees started coming from the backseat, I turned to look inside the crate. Kitty James was pawing at the door, he wanted out.

"What's that noise?"

"It's James, my kitty. He wants out of his crate."

"Go ahead, he can sit on your lap. I don't mind sweetie." I unbuckled my belt and reached into the backseat. Carefully opened the crate door and picked kitty James up. Then I slowly sat back into my seat and hugged him. Matthew looked over and he actually smiled a genuine smile. "Hey James." He reached out to pet him but James didn't like it.

Before I could stop kitty James he scratched and bit Matthew's hand. He quickly pulled his hand back and yelled. I held tightly onto James, afraid of what Matt would do. Matthew's hands tightened around the wheel, his breathing was fast. He continued to stare at the road, calming himself down instead of attacking like I thought he would.

I figured it would be best to put James back in the crate after that. It was a difficult task to do with my hands still tied together. Once he was safely put away, I looked at Matt. "Are you okay? I don't know why he did that."

"I'm fine." It looked like he was calm again, I took his right hand in my tied hands and squeezed it. If I could keep him calm and happy things would go a lot more smoothly. "Shy?" I hummed a response. "I love you." He brought my hands to his lips and kissed them. My eyes started to feel heavy and I closed them, falling instantly asleep.

This time when I woke up it was dark outside. The car was stopped, I turned over to see Matt was not in the car. A muffled sound came from behind me, I looked to see Syn was awake too. "Syn? Baby, are you okay?" He nodded at me, "I'm so sorry." I reached to him with my hands still tied and brushed his hair. Just then the driver's door opened and Matt entered the car.

"Oh good, you're both awake. I got us two rooms for the night. Syn, James and I will be in one room and you will have the other room to yourself. Sound good?" He pulled up next to a couple of doors, rooms twelve and thirteen. "I'll get you settled first, then help them into our room." Matt got out of the car, grabbed my suitcase from the backseat and came around to my door.

I got out and we walked to room thirteen, he unlocked it and we entered. He placed my suitcase on the floor, as I looked around the motel room I could feel the emptiness. Then I turned to look at Matt, he took out a pocketknife and opened it. "Matt?"

"It's okay." He started to come closer, I backed up until my legs hit the bed and I fell backwards onto it. Matthew got on the bed, kneeling above me with the knife still in his hands. I closed my eyes thinking the worst but then I felt a pressure release from my wrists. Finally I opened my eyes to see he cut the tape apart. Painfully I peeled the rest of the tape off, letting out little screams that couldn't be heard out of the room.

"Have a goodnight Shiloh." Matt closed the door, quickly I got up and locked it. However I noticed he had the key still, he could come in if he wanted to. I looked out the window to see Matt pushing Syn into the next room while carrying kitty James' crate. Then I heard the door shut and the TV was turned on, must have thin walls.

I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. There was dried blood in my nose and both sides of my face were red from the slaps. I traced my fingers on the back of my head and felt the bump from whatever he knocked me out with. The water was cold when I turned it on, just what I needed. First I took my glasses off, then I cupped the water in my hands and splashed my face a few times.

Then I went into my suitcase and pulled out a long t-shirt to wear. I changed so now I was in shorts and the shirt, I got into the bed and checked the clock on the table next to me. It was a little past midnight, of course I wasn't tired from sleeping in the car. So I laid there and watched the red numbers change every minute until a knock came at my door.

"Hello?"

The door unlocked and opened to show Matt standing there. "Good you're awake, Syn's asleep but I can't sleep yet. Want some company?" I nodded, did I really have a choice with this? He closed the door and relocked it and then came and sat on the bed with me.

My back was against the wall, I was sitting cross legged on the pillows. Matt was sitting across from me and we were playing poker. It was now past one in the morning, "I'll be back." I hopped off the bed and went to the dresser where my bottle of water was. My mouth was getting dry, I didn't realize how nervous I was with him.

As I took a drink I put my back towards him. Suddenly I felt his arms wrap around my waist, his head placed on shoulder. "I have missed you so much." I turned around so we were face to face and he leaned in and kissed me. "I've missed your taste." He placed his lips against my neck and kissed, without thinking a small moan escaped my lips. Matthew didn't hesitate, that was what he was waiting for.

He hands lifted off my shirt leaving me completely topless, then he removed his shirt and tossed it. Before I could say anything he picked me up and laid me on the bed, kissing my neck again. "I've waited so long to touch you again." Next Matt removed my shorts leaving me completely vulnerable. He removed his jeans right after and climbed on top of me.

I couldn't speak, couldn't move and I didn't want this. Finally I let out a little whisper, "Matt please don't."

"Shhhh, I'll be gentle." I felt him push into me and started thrusting in slowly. This wasn't happening, he hands trailed up my arms and held my hands above my head. I closed my eyes waiting for this to be over, "Shiloh, open your eyes." Scared of what he would do if I didn't I opened them. It wasn't Matthew I was staring at anymore, it was Syn.

Another moan left my lips, a little louder then the first time. Syn smiled and kissed me, he started to speed up. I threw my head back from the increase of pleasure. "You're so perfect." I heard Syn's voice whisper in my ear. Syn started kissing and biting my neck, one of his hands started to massage my breasts. I bit my lip and closed my eyes trying to hold back the moans.

Then another voice came, it wasn't Matthew or Syn. "Don't hold back, I want to hear you." I opened my eyes again to see Gerard above me. My hands wrapped around his neck and I brought him into a passionate kiss. His hands wrapped around my back and pulled me up into his lap, he continued thrusting deeper. We kissed again and I let out a moan into his mouth, his tongue danced with mine.

Gerard gently laid me back on the bed and was now caressing my body, marking me as his. Soon that feeling of pure pleasure was building up, aching to be released. I could see Gerard was feeling the same way, as our bodies moved as one. Suddenly the pressure was too much and I let out my loudest moan yet, wrapping my legs around Gerard's hips.

Gerard followed close behind me, everything felt amazing. My eyes closed from the intensity, I felt him lie down beside me. "I love you." The words escaped my mouth easily. Both of us were breathing heavy, I opened my eyes and turned to kiss Gerard. However, Gerard wasn't there, Matt was lying there and he wrapped his arm around me.

"I love you too Shiloh, see we can be happy again." What have I done? It wasn't Matthew to me, I didn't want this in the first place. I asked him to stop, but he didn't and my mind imagined Syn and Gerard. "Have to go back, check on Syn but I'll see you in the morning." Matthew kissed my head and got dressed, then left me alone in the room.

Quickly I went into the bathroom and threw up. Now I was crying hard and got into the shower. I sat there, knees to my chest and my arms wrapped around my my legs. The hot water was making my skin red, but I needed it. Not only did Matt take advantage of me but I imagined Gerard instead of Syn. I felt dirty, used and guilty. How could I make this end?

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