Only Hope For Me

It was about two weeks after Gerard almost killed himself and I was over everyday with Bob. Mikey was being an asshat and wouldn't speak to him and only hung out with Ray who wanted to come and apologize to Gee, but Mikey wouldn't let him.

Asshat.

Anyway, today, it was just me and Gee, because Bob had to help his mom with cleaning, even though me and Gee have been getting closer and I think Bob wants us to get together today.

Maybe! Hopefully! Probably not.

Eh, maybe actually, Gerard has been sitting closer to me than Bob and wanting to cuddle with me every time I spend the night.

Not that I have a problem with it but still.

Now, I'm walking to Gerard's house because he invited me to watch horror movies in his basement while Mikey the Asshat hung out with Ray.

Did I mention I was mad at Mikey?

I got to his house and just walked in, not even bothering knocking and yelled, "I'm home!"

I heard Mr. Way's chuckles coming from his office. "Hello Frank!" He yelled, still chuckling which made me crack a smile. "Yo Mr. Way! Going down to Gee's room if you need anything!"

So I had become their 3rd son which made me hella happy. I wanted Gerard's parents to like me if I did ever date him, so they could accept us more easily.

"Hey Gee!" I heard a sobbing coming from his bathroom.

"Gee?" I asked peaking in.

He was holding a razor 3 inches from his skin. I ran to him. "Gee please don't. Don't relapse. You're doing so well!" I pleaded, reaching for the razor. He looked into my eyes and they were in misery. "I'm doing this because of you Frank. I'm so sorry." He sobbed, putting the razor in my hand.

"Oh...Alright, so I'm just going to go into 'my' room while you get yourself sorted out?" I asked, and he nodded solemnly.

"Holler if you need me!" I tried to cheer him up but he was curled in the fetal position.

I ran to 'my' room, which is just the room opposite Gerard's in his basement, and just slid down the door. What did I do? Why was he cutting himself over me?

I felt that depressed feeling sinking back into my stomach. I hadn't felt that feeling in a while. Oh god, no please. I looked to the razor in my hand, and clenched my other fist, so I didn't cut my hand.

I can't do this. Please god don't make me.

I got up and went to the mirror. I looked to myself and rolled my sleeve up. Gerard was cutting from me, I was cutting from him.

I hadn't done this in a while, and thought I wouldn't ever do it again. Guess there are times you are wrong.

I slide the blade across my upper wrist, nearer to my elbow, and just stood. That felt good, but not when Gee burst into my room unexpectedly to apologize.

"Hey Frankie I'm rea-- What are you doing?!" He gasped and slapped the blade out of my hand.

"Frankie why?" He asked in a whisper. I slowly sat on the ground while Gerard was trying to get a response.

"Frankie, I wasn't cutting because of something you did!" He gasped.

"Then why Gee?"

"Because I love you Frank." He said, sincerely.

I gaped at him and looked at my forearm. It had blood trailing down to the crease of my elbow, and started to sting.

"Gee..." I didn't know what to say. I obviously loved him to, but now what?

I threw aside my arm before grabbing his face with both my hands and bringing his lips to mine, kissing firmly and painfully. I needed this. I needed him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer than we already were, and my hands gradually pulled to tug at his hair. He moaned, and I took the opportunity to stick my tongue down his throat, which he giggled happily, which caused me to start smiling into the kill. It was my first kiss with a dude. It was actually really nice.

After we pulled away, he kissed throat all the way down to my cut scars, and he even kissed the openly bleeding one. I sighed and let him do whatever, before pulling off his hoodie and t-shirt and doing the same. He had no new fresh cuts and I was so fucking proud of him.

And So FUCKING attracted to him.

Notes