Only Hope For Me

I woke up to sunlight streaming through my bedroom window and saw it was 9 AM. "Frank! You don't really have to do chores I was just messing with ya!" I heard my mom yell after I muttered 'fuckin chores'. I smiled and got in the shower, preparing to get ready for tonight. I looked down at my fresh scars and frowned and turned on the water, biting my lip to stop the yelp from escaping my throat. I need to stop cutting, I just can't. Maybe....

I kinda stole all of Gerard's razors and blades. It's not like he needs them! He even started a blog where people talk to him about their problems so that they don't kill themselves. He is so adorable. He called me crying and told me about this one girl's story. I smiled and held him close until he stopped and told him to calm down. He helped that girl. He is a hero.

"I'm just a man, not a hero." He muttered when I told him that. I rolled my eyes. "Real heros are the ordinary people who do things that make them extraordinary." I whispered and his eyes lit up. When I feel really upset with myself and want to mutilate my skin and kill myself, I think about the good times I spend with him, and I'm alright.

With him, he makes me love me.

I never tell him that I have been cutting myself regularly, but I can tell he knows.

When I finally get out of my shower in which I contemplated life, I look to the clock, 10:30 AM. SHIT. He's going to be here in 30 minutes and I haven't backed yet. I grabbed my phone and my charger and some clothes. I grabbed some condoms that I have been saving for a special occasion. This better lead to the special occasion that he said was going to happen.

"Oh hello Gerard! My my, your hair is so bright!" SHIT MOM.

I realize I have been walking around naked packing. Shit. I grabbed a black flag t-shirt and black skinny jeans, while pulling up my boxers.

"He's not ready is he?" I heard him ask. "Nope!" I yelled down the stairs. I heard them burst into laughter and I smiled to myself.

After I finally got dressed, I left my jacket upstairs, deciding against wearing it and grabbed my backpack with all my things. There was Gerard.

Holy Shitoki mushrooms, his hair is so fucking rad.

It is literally firetruck red and I literally just wanna run my hands through it and pull it. I was fantasizing that I didn't realize that I had said goodbye to my mom and walked out the door with Gerard.

"Your hair is sexy." I whisper seductively in his ear. He shuddered and gripped his steering wheel tighter.

"You wanna skip lunch?" He squeaked when I trailed my hand up his thigh.

"Hell yeah."

He took off driving to the woods and I saw a campsite sign. I looked at him funny. "We are going to a remote location so I can fuck you so hard you can't see straight." He muttered.

Holy shit he's making it so hard to resist him right now.

I sat there, concealing my awkward hard on, and fiddled with my thumbs. I fell asleep sadly.

And when we got to the campsite and he woke me up to unbuttoning my jeans. The tent was already up and everything was set up. I was laying on the bed with my shirt off. "Sorry, you were moaning my name in your sleep so..." He smirked.

I gulped when he took off his shirt and jeans, leaving himself in his boxers. "You are a gorgeous motherfucker, you know that?" I whispered, placing my hand on his chest. He took a deep breath and kissed me passionately. I opened my mouth to his and his tongue entered my mouth. We made out for a couple minutes before he looked me in the eyes. "I want you to stop cutting yourself. It kills me to think you don't think yourself worthy of anything but trash, and I love you so much that if you ever kill yourself, I would kill myself just to be with you, and that would make me a hypocrite." He said, stroking my cheek. I smiled.

"Whatever you want, whatever will make you happy." I said, kissing his lips again. He moved his hands down my waist and palmed me through my jeans. "Goddamn." I moaned. He smirked and took off my previously unbuttoned jeans, slipping my boxers off as well. I closed my eyes and could feel his eyes looking me up and down. "You are one beautiful man." I heard him mutter before placing my lips to his. He grabbed my cock and started moving his hand up and down. I bit my lip and arched my back. Jesus Christ.

I opened my eyes to see him moving his lips to my neck, attaching them there and sucking. I moaned and did what I had been wanting to all day. Pulled his motherfucking hair.

He bit my skin a bit and moaned. I moved my hands from his hair and hooked my index fingers to the waistband of his boxers and taking them off. He looked at me and went into his bag, pulling out some lube. "How awkward was it to walk in and by that in a convience store?" I laughed.

"Jesus Christ you have no idea." He said, before slicking his fingers and putting them in my entrance.

Ow, that fucking burns. "Ah...." I hissed, but slowly became used to it and it became pleasurable. Until he added another finger and the process repeated itself with each finger. After slowly preparing me, he finally lined himself up. "Uh, I really hope this doesn't hurt as bad as the google posts says it does." He muttered. I giggled.

"You googled it?" I laughed. He narrowed his eyes. "Shut up, I needed to know what to do." He trailed off and I shut up. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay go." I whispered, and he obeyed. And my fucking god that hurt so bad. He slowly entered me and I whimpered, tears coming out of my godforsaken eyes, and he noticed that he was hurting me and I was crying. He tried to pull out, but I stopped him. "The only way for it to stop hurting is if I get used to it." He nodded, holding in a moan.

"Alright, I think I'm good." I said after a few minutes when the pain subsided. He started slowly thrusting and I moaned. He started going faster and faster and he was moaning like a cheap whore.

Then he hit something in me that made my vision go white and for me to yell a really loud "FUCKING SHIT!"

He smirked, but moaned, and continued hitting the spot inside me. What the fucking hell is that and why the fucking hell is it up the butt.

I moaned and he grabbed my dick and started jerking me off in time with his thrusts, to the point where I came in between us and he groaned and came inside me, before collapsing on top of me.

"Worth the wait." He panted.

"Definitely."

Notes