Only Hope For Me

*2 months later*

"Frank honey, are you ready to go see Gerard?" My mom nodded sympathetically.

No, I really didn't. This was the day they were taking him off of life support and I didn't want to see him like that. I want him to wake up and hold me in his arms. I know he doesn't want to wake up but, I beg him everyday to wake up, and I squeeze his hand and I promise I'll be back tomorrow.

It's been so long as to that his wrist scars are now scars. Mikey feels so horrible and he and I have become friends and hang out in the hospital with Bob, who cries every time he comes to see Gee. He looks at me and we share a look. We failed. He slipped back into depression and I could've just gone down to his room with him and helped him. I could've held him while he cried and cussed out his brother.

I had to leave, and now, in everyone's mind, he's dead. In my mind, he's sleeping. He looks so at ease in his hospital bed, and was so comfortable slipping off into unconsciousness that fateful day two months ago.

"Yeah...." I muttered and got my jacket. I had started cutting again, and I didn't eat much. My dad even started talking to me and hanging out with me because I was acting so different. I appreciated it, it sometimes got my mind off Gerard. I only knew him for two weeks, but in those two weeks, I had fallen in love, and now its come to bite me in the ass. I don't understand. We could've been perfect. I could have helped him.

"Your father is coming with us..." Mom replied. I nodded, it was the first time he would ever meet Gerard, Gerard wouldn't be meeting him anytime soon.

Cause he's dead. I finally wrapped my mind around it. He's not coming back. He's not going to be able to love me anymore.

A tear slipped past my lower eye lid and traveled down to the floor. My dad saw this and smiled sadly at me before taking me into his arms and giving me a hug.

"Dad....I was in love with Gerard, I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"I know. and I love you." My dad said, before kissing my forehead and taking my mothers hand and going to the car.

I smiled at there love while tears cascaded down my cheeks and I silently thanked Gerard for bringing my parents back together.

I got in the car and we drove. Every where I looked, I saw him. I saw him in the little kids hanging out on the playground, because he was childish. Even the depressed teenagers hanging out with their mothers. I smiled and looked to my mom who was smiling sadly at the approaching hospital. It was the last time we would see Gerard alive today.

Alive.

I sobbed but coughed to try to cover it up. My dad looked in the rear view mirror but I looked away. I couldn't let my dad see me sob.

"Go on in without us Frank, we'll be right there." My mom smiled at me. I nodded and exited.

"Hi Frank..." The receptionist said to me and smiled.

"Hello...." I said awkwardly before she handed me some papers to give to the doctor and I walked to Gerard's room. It was originally in the suicide ward just in case he woke up, but now he was in a regular room.

"Hi Dr. Murphy, here's some papers." I said, tapping him on the back.

"Hello Frank! You're here early. You can go in, his family isn't here yet." He said, smiling sadly.

I nodded and walked inside. There he was, sitting in his brown haired glory. His hair dye had grown out when his hair grew and was no longer black. His mom had the nurses keep his hair cut, but it was longer.

I silently sobbed and took his hand.

"I love you so much Gee."

I felt a squeeze. "Gee?"

"Frankie?" I heard a groggy voice mutter. "Gee?!" I exclaimed.

He opened his beautiful hazel eyes and looked around the room in wonder, before looking down at his wrists.

"Thank god." He muttered and his hand squeezed mine really tight. "Gee..." I said, before getting up and throwing my arms around his neck. "Frankie, I'm so so so so so sorry." He mumbled into my hair, while I sobbed into his neck. "You were gone. You were being taken off life support today. I was going to lose you." I hiccuped.

"How long was I asleep?" He asked.

"2 months." I muttered, squeezing tighter. He stiffened but squeezed me so tight I thought I was going to die. It would be an excellent way to die if it were in his arms.

"Mr. Iero......oh my god. Dr. Murpy!" I heard a nurse take off running down the hallway to try and find Dr. Murphy. I giggled and held on tighter. My back popped a few times because he was squeezing so tight, but it was good. It was fine.

He was alive.

He looked at me strangely when we parted before asking me to take off my jacket.

"Why?" I asked, trying not to sound...uh...like I didn't want to.

"Because I want to see your arms, I know you've been cutting. You wouldn't be sobbing like I just brought back the life into your lungs if you haven't been feeling depressed lately." Gee said to me. I sighed before raising the sleeves of my jacket showing him some fresh and old scars from the past two months.

"Frankie..." He muttered before taking me back in his arms again.

"You don't sound sad anymore." I giggled. Two months ago, his voice sounded quiet and like he was going to cry any second.

"I have lost all interest in killing myself. I want to be with you now. I want to be alive and take my brother to the movies or some shit like that." Gee laughed. He had such a beautiful laugh, I don't think I have heard it before. He never laughed.

"Now, there's the thing, we need to take your son off of life support." I heard a muffled voice say outside of the door.

"Can you give us a little time to say goodbye?" Donna Way asked.

"Of course, he won't die right away, but we are going to unplug it now....." He said, opening the door.

"But, Dr. Murphy." I heard the nurse say, I smirked. "Lisa, I don't know what you're trying to say but stop saying it, I have to-- Oh." I heard him say when he turned to Gee, who was blinking happily at him.

"Nevermind?" Gee said quietly.

"Never mind." The doctor laughed. "Donna, it appears the Gerard has woken up." He laughed, before Donna pushed past him again and went to see her baby boy.

"My baby boy, you're awake." She sobbed.

"Yeah mom, and I know that my hair is brown now, and I want to dye it red." He said nonchalantly.

"Anything you want."

"Its going to be a new start for me. I'm going to be happy. And I'm going to be with Frank. Forever." He muttered into my ear.

"Forever."

"Alright so, when can I leave?"

Notes