Only Hope For Me
Chapter 1
Beep Beep Beep Beep
I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of my god forsaken alarm clock. I slammed my fist against it and it thankfully stopped beeping. I sighed, knowing I had to get up and face the day, even though I really just wanted to die. I stood, running my fingers through my greasy black hair I hadn't washed the whole weekend, and walked to my bathroom upstairs I shared with my brother.
I stripped down and got a good look at myself. All I saw was scars. My fresh cuts were still raw and red and barely scabbed over. I closed my eyes tightly. I hated looking myself in the mirror. It was what I didn't want to see, the shell of myself I was forced to walk in.
I finally got my senses together and climbed into my shower, turning on the water. I hissed as the water burned my fresh cuts. This is why I never showered. It hurt to goddamn bad! I took my shower and got out, quickly wrapping a towel around my waist.
I walked back down to my basement room and put on my Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt and some black skinnies. It was supposed to be in the 90s today but I didn't want anyone to see my scars, so I threw a black zip up hoodie on over that. I sighed, my hair wouldn't cooperate anyway. I slipped on my black beaten up converse and trudged up the stairs, skipping breakfast, and walked out the door, grabbing my backpack on the way.
Another day of hell. Wonderful. I walked my five minute walk to Belleville High and tried to get to my locker before anyone saw me.
"Hey FAG!" A voice shouted behind me.
I inwardly cringed and turned to see Ray, the school bully.
"...hi Ray." I said in a small voice before getting punched in the nose.
"Why don't you go kill yourself so I don't have to be around a faggot?" Ray snickered and walked away.
He's right....I should kill myself.
I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of my god forsaken alarm clock. I slammed my fist against it and it thankfully stopped beeping. I sighed, knowing I had to get up and face the day, even though I really just wanted to die. I stood, running my fingers through my greasy black hair I hadn't washed the whole weekend, and walked to my bathroom upstairs I shared with my brother.
I stripped down and got a good look at myself. All I saw was scars. My fresh cuts were still raw and red and barely scabbed over. I closed my eyes tightly. I hated looking myself in the mirror. It was what I didn't want to see, the shell of myself I was forced to walk in.
I finally got my senses together and climbed into my shower, turning on the water. I hissed as the water burned my fresh cuts. This is why I never showered. It hurt to goddamn bad! I took my shower and got out, quickly wrapping a towel around my waist.
I walked back down to my basement room and put on my Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt and some black skinnies. It was supposed to be in the 90s today but I didn't want anyone to see my scars, so I threw a black zip up hoodie on over that. I sighed, my hair wouldn't cooperate anyway. I slipped on my black beaten up converse and trudged up the stairs, skipping breakfast, and walked out the door, grabbing my backpack on the way.
Another day of hell. Wonderful. I walked my five minute walk to Belleville High and tried to get to my locker before anyone saw me.
"Hey FAG!" A voice shouted behind me.
I inwardly cringed and turned to see Ray, the school bully.
"...hi Ray." I said in a small voice before getting punched in the nose.
"Why don't you go kill yourself so I don't have to be around a faggot?" Ray snickered and walked away.
He's right....I should kill myself.
@One_Of_The_Fabulous_Killjoys
Yes
5/12/14