Keep Me Safe from Myself

**Hannah POV**

I walked down the dark hallways in a hurry, just trying to reach my next class. The bell wouldn't stop ringing, like it was broken or something. I could hear the snickers and the whispers all around me. I crushed my headphones into my ears but nothing would play. I continued to race down the corridor, which seemed to stretch on endlessly. A shadow came into view, with long blonde hair and those piercing blue eyes you couldn't stop staring at. She kicked something across the floor and it landed at my feet. I looked down and saw a small, fragile child stare back at me with cold, lifeless eyes. I looked up back at her and saw her lips mouth the word 'Slut', but the words didn't break the whispering that was shaking my eardrums to the core. I took a few steps forward, slid out a knife, and slit her throat.

I shot up from my awkward position on the floor and rubbed my now-sore neck. I glanced at the clock- 7:00. Must have fallen asleep.


Feelings can change in an instant. You can be so sure of something, and regret it the next.
I'd passed out scribbling the words down in my sketchbook. I traced the outline of a bird and closed the booklet. My pencils were scattered all over the newly-open hardwood floors. I'd deflated the air mattress and folded it back up in the closet earlier in the week. The bed was big enough for both of us anyways, and now that we were together I had no problem sleeping in the same bed as him. Well, I didn't have a problem with that in the first place, he wanted to be a 'gentleman' about it. Yeah, just like it was SO gentleman to bring me close to the best orgasm I'd had in months, and then leave me hanging- twice!

I looked around. The floor had a few grey marks from where I had kicked some of the pencils around. My clothes were in a neat little laundry basket I'd gotten the last time I was out. It wasn't much, but it kept the room clean.

I hadn't left the room in a day or two. I refused to leave. I mean, I wen't to work and all but I wouldn't talk. I kinda just sulked, my mind not taking a break for 5 seconds from thinking about my baby, or what would have been. What if it had been extremely smart? What if it had been beautiful? It could have had a life, and a family of its own someday. I tried to push the thoughts away. I knew one day I would try again, with someone that truly loved me, but I still couldn't stop feeling like a piece of my soul had been ripped from me. Gerard was worried about me- he told me so. Which was nice, but it didn't make me feel any better. My bad moods were just rubbing off on people, making them feel worse. Wonderful.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I violently flinched and twisted my head. I relaxed almost immediately.

"Chill baby, it's just me." He smiled sweetly and kissed my cheek, handing me a grilled cheese sandwich. This had been one of my cravings that I wasn't able to let go of, they were just so simple, yet so good.

I murmured a soft thank you, and continued to stare at the dark, blank walls.

He looked at me with soft eyes, and I smiled back. It had been the first time I'd smiled in a few days, even if it was somewhat forced. He grinned, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Ignoring my screams of protest, he sat me on the bathroom counter and took a washcloth to my wrist, rubbing at 'Bittersweet' until there was nothing but a big blotch of red. He picked me back up,and didn't let me go until I was properly seated in the passenger side of his car. He locked the doors and I put my hand on the gears, keeping it in park.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "My phone?" He opened his side door and I rolled my eyes. He came back with my phone and headphones. He unplugged the small black earbuds and shoved them in his pocket, then handed me my life in a box. I glared at him and turned on the camera. Dear God I looked like Hell.

"You can have your music back AFTER you actually talk to me." He challenged. I took my hand off the lever and crossed my arms.

"Oh no, anything but an actual conversation, PLEASE!" I half plead. I laughed and sat back in my seat.

"Just give me five minutes."

"You got thirty seconds, before I cause an accident grabbing my headphones."

He bit back a smile. "Do you know how hard it is to keep my eyes on the road with you in the car? I have to forbid myself from staring at you long enough to get to where were going. But Sweetheart, I hate seeing you like this. I know this has been really difficult, and I'm so proud of you for not grabbing the first blade you saw and just ruining everything you've built up towards. Hell, I'm still in shock you didn't jump when you first found out. I don't think I would have been as strong as you were." A few tears welled up in my eyes. He was proud? Of me?

"No no no don't cry! This is supposed to be uplifting!" He took my hand and held it in his. It was a perfect fit, always had been.

"Anyways, I thought you deserved a small reward. I saw you take that IV in no problem." He shuddered.

"A bit afraid of a small needle, are we?" I teased, and he rolled his eyes.

"Terrified. You haven't seen true fear until you've seen me forced to get a flu shot. My childhood was horrible." He laughed and looked down in embarrassment.

We slowed down and he pulled into a small, black building covered in graffiti.

He hopped out of his car and raced to the other side, opening the door for me before I had a chance. He took my hand and kissed the back of it.

"Hope you're ready!" He beamed and walked me inside. The neon sign read 'Tattoo Heaven'. I gasped and jumped into his arms, giving him the biggest hug ever. I mouthed the word 'Really' and he chuckled, nodding his head. I kissed him and ditched him, running inside like a kid in a candy store.

I quickly got myself situated in the chair and had Gerard write the word in cursive perfection on a piece of paper, so the tattoo artist knew what to do. She was a thin girl, so pale it looked almost sickly, but still flawless with her raven black hair. She had tattoos all up and down her arms. Badass, I thought. I looked up at Gee and could tell he was thinking the same thing. A shoddy feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. Was I jealous?

She came back with a packaged needle and opened it in front of me, which calmed my nerves a little. I didn't want to get some God-awful disease from my 'reward'. I took the piece of paper from Gerard and added a few music notes and a squiggly line, as well as a heart. Content with what was in front of me, I handed it to the girl and she nodded, pulling out her materials and getting to work.

Everything went smoothly until she started to use the needle. Gerard grabbed my other hand but refused to look. I was afraid he was going to pass out on me. I felt the needle pierce my skin as she started to work, and I gasped, and squeezed Gerard's hand. I took a few deep breaths to calm down and cleared my throat.

Gerard looked up, a worried expression on his face. "Does it hurt?" He asked, keeping his eyes on me and refusing to even glance at the needle.

"Yea, but it's fine. It's actually kinda turning me on." I admitted, and he put his hand over his face, shaking his had and trying hard to stifle a laugh. The lady smiled.

"Don't worry. You're not the first person to say that, and you certainly won't be the last." She continued on with her work.

It took less time than I thought it would, and pretty soon she was finished. She wrapped my wrist with gauze and Gee paid her. I rushed him out the door and jumped in his arms, practically attacking his face with kisses.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!" I exclaimed, peppering his face with more kisses.

He met every single one of my kisses with his own ruthless supply. "So, pain is a turn on now?"

I hid my face, embarrassed., then put my hand up to his. "Why do you think I bite my nails until they look like an animal mauled them?" I asked innocently and he laughed.

He carried me to the car when I felt my phone start to buzz. I looked up and saw an unknown number FaceTime request. 'Unknown' my ass- I knew I had to add Blaze's new number to my phone, I just never gotten around to it.

I answered the phone and rested my head on Gee's shoulder, getting him into the camera's view too. The video connection was still loading but I couldn't contain my excitement, so I started yelling into a blank screen.

"Hey Blaze! Look!" I shouted, holding up my covered wrist. "Gee brought me to this really awesome place and I got a tattoo of that thing I always write on my wrist, it's so cute and I know you can't see it but she did a really good job and-"

"Nice to see the both of you too." A deep, husky voice slurred in the background The video feed finally loaded and there was a dirty blonde on the other end. This wasn't my sister, not even close. I froze, and Gee quickly grabbed my phone and pounded the end button. He buckled me up in the passenger seat and then himself. We sped off towards the house in almost complete silence.

"When we get home, I'm giving you ten minutes to grab my bag from the closet and pack everything you can. We're leaving."

My eyes were frozen wide open "Where are we-"

"Hotel. All of us. I don't think he knows Frank's here so I'll let them decide for themselves." He pulled into the driveway and kept the car running. He was pissed- beyond pissed. It was starting to scare me. I got up and grabbed the blue duffle bag buried in the back on the closet and got to work. I threw what I could in there- some clothes, my sketchbook, sharpies, make up, hair products; Shit, I practically packed the entire bathroom in there. Gerard joined me in my room and helped me pack my things, taking some of my things in his when my bag couldn't carry any more shit. He gave me the 'Are you kidding me' look.

"Hey, this is ALL necessary." I gave him a smirk and he opened the bag to check for something. He pulled out a pair of pink lacy underwear with blue and purple detail. He look up at me. "Like I said, ALL necessary." I repeated again and winked.

He grabbed the bags and threw them in the trunk, then pulled out his phone. I could hear Mikey on the other line.

"When your done with Casey, meet me at Tuscany's." He paused. "No, the cheese factory. YES THE HOTEL. Sorry, look just don't go home. Mikey you can't go home." He clicked the phone off and took a few deep breaths. I took his hand and grasped it tight. I decided to cope the only way I knew how- I turned on the radio and blasted the music.

Notes

I almost made this a really short and shitty chapter, but I decided against the short part. Sorry for the really late update, Ive had a really shitty day, got some really shitty news, and just really pissed at everyone. So I decided last minute to write it out. Thank you guys for reading, I promise I'll try to make this better.
New question: Any tatted readers out there? Care to share?

Comment, Rate, Subscribe, Criticize. You know what to do~ :*

Xoxo
-Hazel