Keep Me Safe from Myself

**Hannah POV**

It'd been almost five weeks since I first moved in with Gerard. And three weeks since our first... encounter. I didn't understand why he didn't just take me right then and there. No, thats a lie. I totally understood why, I just didn't approve. I'd applied for a job at the comic shop with Gerard, which he was ecstatic about. I was supposed to start today, but I'd been feeling really shitty the past couple days, and Gee had made me an appt. with a doctor to make sure it was nothing serious. I was due for one anyways, so we just scheduled a check-up.

I rolled my eyes at the thought. I was sitting with Mikey and Casey at lunch. Mikey had ended things with Jenna after what had happened, and whenever I looked at Casey, she was beaming. She was always happiest with Mikey, and you could see the sexual tension building between the two. I smirked at my own thought. It was only a matter of time.

School went be pretty fast that day. I had switched out of my english class in favor of an art one. Gerard had gotten me a new sketchbook and pencils, and I discovered I was actually pretty talented. Mrs. D was really nice, and I didn't have to socialize with anyone in the classroom, it was perfect.

The bell rang one final time, signaling everyone to get the fuck out. I quickly found Mikey and Casey, and we made our way to the student parking lot. Mikey was going to Casey's house for a "project" (or so they called it) after school. I hugged them goodbye and started my search for Gee and his car. He was always in the same spot, so it wasn't hard for me to find him. I dashed over and hopped into the front seat, and gave him a quick hug.

"How was school?" He asked, like he usually does. He pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive home.

"School was fine. Nothing different." I mumbled, popping in an earbud. I put my head down, I had a killer headache.

Gerard held my hand. "Still feel like shit?" He asked, and I nodded.

The drive to the doctors was mostly silent. I didn't want to bring it up, but God Damn I wanted it to happen again. He pulled up to the front entrance and I picked up me head, looking at the river that sat opposite the building. The sky was grey and the water was choppy. Guess we're getting a storm soon, I thought.

"Why did you stop."

"Well, uh.. because we're here?" He looked at me and laughed, putting a hand in his hair.

"Don't give me that, you know exactly what I mean." I gave him a small shove.

"Look Hannah, you're a beautiful girl, one of the smartest, kindest, most talented people I know. But that night, you were just so fragile, so broken. As much as I wanted to, I didn't want to push my luck. But I couldn't help myself. You make me feel like a horny teenager again." He chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, I love it. But I hate at the same time. I just thought you'd be mad at me for even trying." He put his head down on the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off. He jumped, startled.

I laughed. "The only reason I'm mad at you-" I started, stepping out of the car. "Is because you did stop." I closed the door and swung my hips, walking towards the front door. I faintly heard him call out "I'll be out here."

I stepped inside the elevator and hit the '2' button. The elevator ride up just made me feel even more nauseous. I signed in with the receptionist and took a seat a few feet from the bathroom. I hadn't sat down for five minutes when I made a mad dash to the nearest toilet and emptied my lunch into the bowl. This bug was really getting to me. I heard my name being called from the waiting room and quickly cleaned myself up and washed my mouth out at the sink, I pushed my hair to one side and strutted out, and spotted the doctor . He looked nice, round face, brown hair, and tons of tattoos. Nice. We made our way to a door marked "Exam room 3".

"Hey Hannah, I'm Doctor Carlile". He took my height, weight and blood pressure. Then started with the usual dirty questions.

"I know you're not here for this, so lets just get this part of the paperwork over with. Any STD's?"

"Ew, no." I shuddered. God help me if I ever did.

"Sexually active?"

I giggled as the memory with Gee flooded my thoughts, quickly replaced with Zack and our.. events. "Um.. yea."

"Any chance you're pregnant?" He looked up, clearly seeing the discomfort on my face.

"No." No way, no fucking way.

"Last one, I promise. Date of your last cycle." He was scribbling on his clipboard.

I looked up, lost in thought. "I... can't remember. But they're like, forty days apart, so it's easy for me to lose track."

He scribbled one last thing on his clipboard, then got up and grabbed a cup. "I have to go and check up on one last patient. In the meantime, just to be sure-" He handed it to me. "Bathrooms down the hallway."

I rolled my eyes, trying to comfort myself. It's just a precaution- they always do this. I thought. I took deep, heavy breaths, and stepped into the bathroom to do my business. I quickly finish, and place the cup in the double sided metal box placed against the wall. I made my way back to the exam room, and hopped up on the bed. Damn it all- I left my phone in Gee's car.

It seemed like I was there for hours when Dr. Carlile finally came back into the room. His face held a big smile and he sat down, obviously pleased with something.

"Well, Hannah, looks like we were both wrong, because you-" He paused. "Are pregnant!" He beamed, trying to be excited for me.

I blinked. Once, twice. My whole body started to tremble. My breathing became erratic, and my hands immediately grabbed my hair.

"Hannah, Hannah look at me. You're going to be a gre- " I pushed him aside and walked to the front desk, and quickly paid for my visit.

The lady handed me back my credit card. "Would you like to schedule for an ultrasound?" She asked with a smile. I snatched my card and took the stairs down. I didn't wanna stand still. I had to keep moving, God knows why. I kept walking, trying -and failing- to control my breathing. I burst out the front doors, and past Gerard's car. I didn't stop until I reached the river, it was worse than before, one wrong move and I could be gone forever. Is that why it seemed so tempting?

I took two steps onto the rocks and stared at the water. It was like it called to me, daring me to join it. I felt a tear stream down my face. Pregnant? I thought. Theres no fucking way. I... I went to take one final step, when I realized that the voice calling to me wasn't the water. I turned around to see Gerard, his face completely panicked. He ran towards me and I stepped back onto the pavement, and into his arms. I started to sob, I couldn't fight them back anymore. It seemed to happen a lot whenever i hugged him. He carried me back to the car and sat me down.

"What the fuck was that all about?" He whispered, completely dumbfounded.

I stayed silent for a few minutes, then realizing he wasn't going to move until I spoke, so I told him.

Notes

OHH SHEEEEIT~ Don't hate me >.<<br>
Comment, Rate, Subscribe, Criticize. You know what to do~

Xoxo
-Hazel