We Don't Fight Fair

The next week or two was filled with anticipation for Mikey to heal. The day he did and was released was a great one. Frank and I had set up a little surprise party for Mikey. There were rainbow colored streamers everywhere. The cake was glittery and and if no one has guessed, it was unicorn themed. The look on his face was priceless. He swatted a pink balloon out of his face and we all calmed down.

Then the conversation had gotten serious. It was summer, and all of us planned on going to college. We had sent out acceptance letters, and were waiting for a reply. The thing was, Frank insisted that we attended the same college. He was scared that we would drift apart. Once we were alone and Mikes went to bed, he sat me down and I adressed his foolish decision. "Your future is much more important than your boyfriend." I said bluntly. He looked a little hurt. "So, what? You were planning on just dropping what we have once we get into college?" He questioned. "Well, no, I mean, we could always keep in tou-" "NO, Gerard! Long distance relationships never work and you know it!" I was quiet for a minute. "Frank do you really want to be in a relationship in college? It seems like an opportunity to be free and wild and crazy. Do you actually want to be chained to someone during this time in your life?" I said softly. His eyes widened. "Well, of course. I love you. If you go, I go too." My mind flew back to my suicide attempt. "That's a horrible motto." I said almost immediately.

He crinkled his nose. "Well, it's what I'm choosing to do. Why can't you just accept my decision and be happy I stayed with you for so long? Why can't you be grateful I didn't dump your sorry ass when I saw your pathetic cuts."

Well that hurt.

He saw what he had done. But unlike what I did when I accused him of hurting Mikey, he meant it. And he wasn't taking it back. "I-I'm gonna go out for a little." I said, standing. He said nothing back, but glared at the carpet.

"I love you." I whispered weakly, not even sure if he could hear me. Walking out the door with no car keys, I decided thatjust wandering would be my best bet. I past the park where Frank and I had the best date I had ever been on. My eyes began to sting. I continued to walk through my small town. I passed the bakery. Not many stores were open so late at night. I liked it. The moon was beautiful and the stars were brighter than ever.

I went on to a bridge about 50 feet above rushing river water. I smiled down at it. No one ever came down this way. It was very dangerous and it was normally blocked off. But I climbed right over the crossing tape. I started singing "Something Vague" by Bright Eyes.

I laughed. "Now and again, it seems worse than it is, but mostly the view is accurate. " I began the song. I stared walking towards the ledge. "And you're not really sure, what you're doing this for, but you need something to fill up the days." I chuckled sadly and continued to sing until I reached my favorite part. "There's a dream in my brain, that just won't away, it's been stuck there since it came, a few nights ago, and I'm standing on a bridge in the town where I lived. As a kid with my mom and my brothers."

I loved it because of how ironic it really was.

"Well now I'm confused. Is this Death, really you? Do these dreams have, any meaning? No-no it's more like a ghost, that's been following us both. Something vague, That we're not seeing? " I edged closer and stepped over the rail. "Something more, like a feeling?

• I let the last note ring out sweetly into the night air, mixing with the roaring river below me. Nothing holding me. I was suddenly falling. I felt nothing. Completely numb.

Notes