If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first hand what it's like to be me

Gerard’s POV

As soon as I got home, I went straight upstairs to my room, leaving Frank downstairs, sat on my bed, and just started crying. I never wanted to die more than I did back then. That was probably the worst they’re ever got me, and now it’s happening to Frank. What did I ever do to them? Oh yeah, I became friends with them on the first day of school back in year seven. Then, when I was sure I could trust them, I told them I was gay. Big mistake. If I hadn’t have come out to them then I wouldn’t be like this.

Frank must’ve heard my cries as he came rushing in and hugged me tight, protectively.
“Shh, don’t worry, we’re home now, you don’t need to worry, I’m here, its okay,” he kept whispering soothing things in my ear, which was actually helping. Soon enough I stopped crying, and let go. He gently wiped away my tears that had made their way down my cheeks with his soft thumb, and kissed my cheek. I instantly blush and tense up, not used to this simple gesture. I’m used to having fists against my face, not Franks smooth lips.

“How about I sort myself out and then I can show you my little ‘hide out’?” I suggested shyly. No-one else knows about besides my parents and I.

“Sure,” he said with a smile. I can tell he wants me to get better, and I hope it works.
Fifteen minutes later and we were in the woods, heading for the centre where the meadow was. When we were nearly there, I slowed down a bit and let Frank take lead. I sneaked up behind him and covered his eyes with my hands, causing him to let out a squeal, disturbing a few birds. I giggled and said it was only me, whilst leading him to my little private home. As we neared the meadow, I counted down from three and uncovered his eyes, revealing everything to him.

“Ohmygod, it looks so beautiful, Gerard!” He let out. I blushed then nodded. It simply is.
“May I?” He asked. I hesitated then held out my arm in the direction of the small hut, granting him permission. I followed suit and unlocked the door for him, opening it. He stepped inside to gather up his surroundings. It was slightly dark with the only light being from the windows, but that’s just how I like it. It was rather messy, but I don’t think Frank minded. There were shelves on the walls holding comic books and sketchbooks, a desk thing covered in assorted pens, pencils, and the occasional paints with a painting that I was working on, but I forgot what I wanted to do with it so I just left it there, my laptop on the scruffy rug in the middle of the floor, a pile of books I’ll probably never get round to reading in a corner, and some beanbags next to them.

I sat myself down on the beanbags and just watched Frank wander around my little ‘home’, occasionally stopping to inspect something, put it back down, then move on. This whole process took around half an hour, but it never got boring. Watching all his different facial expressions change every now and then amuses me slightly, but also worries me at what he’s seen and is trying to hide it by pretending he saw something, like, not depressing. I don’t think there’s too much stuff to worry about, seeing as a lot of my stuff is in my bedroom. Then I caught a glimpse of the small black box on one of the shelves. It was hidden in a shadow, but all it took was to look at it at a certain angle and you could easily see it. Unfortunately, Frank done exactly that, and found it. He lifted it up from the shelf, having to stand on tippy toes, and brought it down to his height. All I could do was watch in terror as he opened the lid and peered inside. Then I remembered I hid the contents underneath a small patch of black fabric at the bottom, so no-one else could find what I care so deeply about. He put the lid back on and placed it back on the shelf, before walking over to me and sitting on the beanbags next to me.

“Cool room, I wish I had something like this, but we’re still trying to figure out where to put everything, so I’m going to have to wait a while, give or take a couple weeks to get everything the way we like it,” He said, that gave me an idea.

“Hey, why don’t I come round yours and help you with it all? Saving you and your mum to do it all,” I suggested. I’d love to meet his mum, from what he’s told me, she seems like a really nice lady.

“Sure thing!” We checked the time and headed out the forest towards the nearest bus stop. I saw him fumbling around in his pockets and his bag in a panic, and started thinking if he left anything.

“Shit, I think I left my money at home…”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay,” I said, confident I had enough money for the both of us.

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” We got on the bus, got a ticket and sat together near the back. The seats on this bus where tiny, so Frank and I had to sit really close.

Nope, not awkward, nothing awkward about practically sitting on top of your tiny friend which you may or may not have, like, the biggest crush on.

I blushed at my thoughts, and turned to look out the window next to me so Frank won’t see. I felt his eyes on the back of my head, and looked at our reflection in the window to see Frank looking at me. I smiled a little, wondering about why this boy likes me.

Soon enough, we reached the stop outside what I guessed was Franks’ house. No cars where present, so I guess his mum must be out. I glanced at Frank as he was getting up to leave, so I done the same.

Frank got out his keys and unlocked the front door, opening it out for me.

“Please do excuse the mess,” God, he sounded so British. I rattled my brains for thing English people would say, but simply just came out with,

“Okay, old chap,” I tried to say it in my best British accent, but failed miserably, I ended up sounding Australian, which earned a soft, playful punch in the arm by Frank, and him telling me to not mock his accent. That left us in heaps of laughter as we went upstairs to Frank’s room. Although it’s still a ‘work in progress’, it looked pretty amazing.

“You had Kerrang! in England?” I said, noticing that a lot of the posters on his walls were from Kerrang! magazine to far back to be from when he arrived here.

“Yeah, I’ve been collecting the magazines for about four years now, kind of annoying seeing as it comes out every. week.” Finally, someone feels my pain!

“Haha, yeah, it is,” I agreed, gathering my surroundings. I saw a white guitar with the word ‘PANSY’ on it. Looks pretty cool, I didn’t know he played guitar, I’ve always wanted to play, but I didn’t really have the energy to go to lessons. I prefer singing to be honest, much easier, less effort. I sat myself down on his bed, watching him try and tidy his room up a bit.

“Don’t worry about the mess, I’ve seen worse,” I said. He looks so adorable hurrying around his room with his small legs, then the way he looks at me afterward. Enough to make me blush. Goddammit, why am I always blushing!? Ugh.

“Coffee?” He asked. I decided to give it a miss, I’m not exactly desperate.

“Nah thanks, I’m good,” He gave me a concerned look, laughed slightly, then sat down next me and rested his head on my shoulder. It sucks for me because I’m too tall to do it back to him, unless I slide down a little, but that would look strange. I can, however, rest my head on top of his, so that is what we done.

His hand found mine and held it loosely. I squeezed his back gently, maybe to reassure him that I’m okay, I don’t know.

“I really, really, like you… shit,” He said quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself, thinking aloud, maybe.

“Same,” I said back. Because it’s true, I really do like him. I felt him smile on my shoulder before lifting his head up and kissing my cheek. I hesitated, however, before I turned my head around and connected our lips together. I placed my hand on his back, pulling him closer, feeling his arms make their way around my neck as our lips began to move in sync. I don’t know why people close their eyes when they kiss, I guess it’s because the best moments in life are never seen, only heard or felt. His fingers tugging gently on my hair, my arms around his back, I’ve never felt happier. I smiled into the kiss, knowing how right this felt, how perfect it felt. I never wanted for it to end, but unfortunately the need for air overpowered us, and we pulled away, blushing slightly.

“I know I’ve only known you for over a day, but I think I’m in love with you, Frank Iero.”

Notes

eeeeeee yay

I HAVE AN IDEA FOR NEXT CHAPTER OMG YAY

BE PREPARED AHHH

hi btw

-Axx