Wanna Be Somebodies

Gerard and I enter the office ninth hour, and even though I repeatedly tell myself that everything will be fine, I can’t keep my stomach from tightening.
I sit in the chair, peeling off the chipping pleather, too preoccupied with my own worries to pay attention to whatever class Gerard is talking about. Why is he talking? Did I ask him a question?
“So, I guess, yeah,” Gerard concludes.
“Oh,” I reply. I must’ve asked him something.
I see Mr. Ellis enter, his son Matt and friends in tow. I grip the arms to the chair until my knuckles fade to white. I want to run, I want to shove my way through all of them and bolt to my dorm. But I stay rooted to my seat like some sort of plant that won’t ever be plucked, and I my heels bounce with solid anxiety as the boys sit down in the chairs to the left of Gerard. Gerard himself is twiddling his thumbs, but of course Matt Ellis and his idiots have nothing to worry about. It’s a kangaroo court, with Matt Ellis as the judge, the lawyer, and the jury. He has control over everything. There’s no way out of this; no way to win. There’s no way to escape him.
“Mr. Iero, would you like to repeat what you and Gerard told me this morning?” Mr. Ellis asks. “So the boys know what they’re being charged with.”
“Umm….” I mumble. I don’t have to look over to see Matt’s eyes prickling into me, burrowing inside to see what they can find. “It was in the locker room a few days ago… Matt found it necessary to announce to the entire room that I was gay. They proceeded to tease me about it, making a lot of derogatory and sexual comments. It was a day or so after that at night, like five minutes before lights out, that they not only purposely misgendered me, but also beat me and tackled me.”
Mr. Ellis nonchalantly folds his hands on his desk, turning to face the culprits. “Anything to say to defend yourself?”
Matt leans forward, giving puppy eyes. “In the locker room, we were just kidding. We really didn’t think it’d hurt his feelings, really!” He pauses, furrows his brows. “As for the whole bathroom incident, I just can’t recall that ever happening.”
“Me neither,” one of his friends chimes in.
Mr. Ellis now faces me. “Mr. Iero, can you explain why none of these boys seem to remember this occurrence?”
“B-because they’re lying!” I insist.
“Do you have any proof?” Mr. Elllis interrogates. “Any witnesses or something of the sort?”
“Well….” I hesitate. I pull my shirt up and stand, pointing at one of the bruises on my ribcage. “This… is from your son, where he kicked me.”
“And how exactly can you prove this to be true?” Mr. Ellis demands.
“I…. I can’t,” I admit. I drop my shirt and sink back into my seat. “But he caused it, so who’s word are you going to take?”
Mr. Ellis shrugs smugly, a broad grin spread across his face. “Well, I can take the word of two new students, the main one with not only poor grades but also a mountain of a discipline file, or, I can believe four boys, all with a spotless GPA and record of discipline.”
“You seriously can’t base it off of that!” Gerard scoffs. “Just because he’s not the model student you’re not going to do anything about him being bullied?”
“Mr. Way, the fact is, I have no proof. No proof means no punishment. How do I know that you two aren’t setting these boys up? I’m just doing my best to be fair to everyone. I’m sure an intelligent young man like yourself understands,” Mr. Ellis rants.
Gerard stands, grabbing me by the shoulder and yanking me to my feet as well. “Oh, I fucking get it, crystal clear. You won’t help a student because he doesn’t film his own torture. That’s absolute bullshit. Ask anyone on the wrestling team; Frank’s being bullied.”
“Watch your mouth!” Mr. Ellis barks. “And I see no use in investigating a closed case. I will be seeing you in detention, Mr. Way. Library at 4:00.”
I open my mouth to protest, but Mr. Ellis interrupts,
“Would you like to join him, Mr. Iero?”
“No,” I scowl.
Mr. Ellis smiles. “Marvelous. You boys are all free to go.”
Matt and his friends hurry along to catch up with us, and Matt declares loud enough for his father to hear him,
“I’m really sorry you have a problem with us, Frank. Maybe we could hang out sometime?”
“Get away from me!” I hiss. I shove past him, but he steps in front of me, grabbing my wrist. He squeezes so hard that it hurts, growling,
“Listen here you little faggot. If you squeal one more time like the bitch you are, I will break every bone in your fucking body.”
“You don’t fucking talk to him like that, you shit!” Gerard retorts quietly. “Grow the fuck up.”
Gerard grabs my shoulder and begins to pull me along, but two of Matt’s friends pull me apart from him, and then Matt and the remaining friend restrain me, slapping a hand harshly over my mouth.
They drag us into the bathroom, where they lock the door upon entering. One boy blocks it, making sure that Gerard or I can’t escape. Matt throws me to the floor roughly, kicking me in the hip.
Gerard’s arms are held behind his back, and Matt walks over, ordering to the friend at the door,
“You! Make sure Iero doesn’t get away.”
He nods, and glares at me. I decide to stay on the floor, which is the safest spot. That’s not saying much though; it’s the equivalent of saying that fire is the least lethal method of suicide.
Matt grabs a fistful of Gerard’s hair, and brings his head forward and back crudely by the chunk. Gerard bites his lip, not wanting to give Matt any satisfaction. Matt digs into his back pocket, producing a pack of cigarettes. “You smoke, Way?”
Gerard doesn’t answer, just stares at the floor. Matt pulls out one of the cigarettes, not placing it between his lips, but lighting it anyways. I jolt up from my spot on the floor, realizing what he’s about to do.
I’m tackled as Matt rolls up Gerard’s shirt sleeve and presses the burning end to his bare forearm.
Gerard cries out, and jumps around uselessly, as the other two boys hold him tightly, planting him to the floor. “Fuck!” His knees buckle in towards each other, and he hangs his head as he yells, frustrated and in pain.
I try all I can to spring to my feet; but it’s hopeless as the much heavier and stronger boy pins me to the floor. Matt finally stops, and warns,
“That’s what you get, you fucking freak. As for Iero….”
Matt pulls a Sharpie from his back pocket, and removes the cap with a pop. He squats down next to me, and I squirm for all I’m worth, all though I know I’m doomed. I can’t tell what he writes on my forehead, but I can only assume it’s the word ‘fag’. When they all leave us behind, I go directly to the mirror to, squinting to read the word on my face.
It’s just a crude drawing of a penis. I scrub at it furiously, and Gerard hangs by me sadly, rubbing my shoulders.

Notes

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