*two weeks later*
Life had become depressing. More depressing than usual. Every time I woke up for school, I started to feel light headed and feel panic rush through me. My hands would be come sweaty and my gut turned. Guilt would shoot through me and I'd make myself go back to bed, telling myself I'd go to school tomorrow. Thoughts of Gerard's face as I pierced his skin ran across my mind and it made me feel even more guilt. I had never felt this way before. Even when I was human I never felt this. I was scared to see Gerard, knowing he could know that I'm not human. He would confront me and I'd have to explain. Just the thought of it, made me gag. I've never been so scared before. My anxiety was making me depressed, and slowly killing me.

My anxiety has alway been relevant, yes. But I've never felt so anxious that it made me depressed. There's always the fear that someone will find me and kill me, and I sure as hell wasn't ready for that. I wasn't eating as much as I did, which really fucked up my system. It was making me physically and mentally sick. It made it so, some days, I was too weak to move from my bed and other days I was strong enough to sneak out of my house and drink from my neighbor while they slept. Luckily for me, their blood was pretty filling. It was on the bitter side, but at least I was eating.

Being too weak to move was the worst part. It made me have to think. It was my only pass time besides sleeping. I kept thinking about Gerard, obviously. I left him confused. I gave him two scares because of my loose mind, my eager temptation. He probably hated the scares and it was all my fault. How could I be so careless? Why did I loose control? How could I so easily give into my temptations. He probably told everyone. They're going to come kill me one day. When I least expect it. And just when I thought I was feeling the slightest bit alive...

---

Today's the day. I have to go back to school, not for Gerard, but for me. I woke up to the loud yelling of my alarm, feeling stronger than I had in the past two weeks. I sighed as I sat at the edge of my bed. Cold air kissed my skin and made the tattoos on my arm rise as I sat. I shivered at the cold, picked out my clothes and took a shower. I smiled as the hot beads, sliced through my skin, giving me a warm sensation that coursed through my body. I got out, got dressed and left. I found my breakfast quickly after leaving. The blood was a little too sweet but it filled me to last through the day.

When I walked through the school doors, anxiety slowly moved within me as I smelt Gerard's blood, waft through the air. By now I taught myself to tame my senses, just in case he came into contact with me again. As I walked farther into the school, his scent became stronger. Thankfully, my training worked an I easily kept walking to me class. I walked past the nurses office and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I froze when I saw Gerard sitting on the table. Blood was dripping down his nose and the right side of his face. He caught me staring and became slightly tense.

"Frank," he said getting off the table and pulling me into the room. "Where have you been?"
I quickly thought of an excuse, but was shaky when I spoke. "I-I was sick a-and was.... Having family things.."
He stared at my blankly but observing my face. His eyes paced quickly on me. "Why didn't you call?"
His question caught me off guard. And apparently it showed. His facial expression went from concerned to horrified in a matter of seconds. "I didn't want to bother you." I mumbled.
Gerard sighed in relief, bringing and shaking his head down and lightly chuckling. His raven hair hung over his eyes and a small smile grew on his face as he brought his head back up. "You don't bother me, Frank." He said as his smile grew a little bigger. "I thought you didn't like me anymore. I thought I weirded you out after we..." He trailed off as his cheeks became flushed.
I shook my head, not saying a word. After a few minuets of silence, my senses snapped me back from whatever space I was in. "What happened?"
"I was jumped when I got to school. It happens a lot..." He paused and stared at the floor. He looked up at me again. I stared at the rest of his face and he noticed. "Please stop staring."
I shook my head, again, snapping back into reality. "I'm sorry." "It's fine, I guess." He sighed. "I'm used to it."
"You shouldn't tho-"
"Well I am, okay?" He snapped loudly and made me jump. he sighed and relaxed again. His voice was deep and sad. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."
"It's okay." I said quietly. The bell rang and we both walked to class. We talked all period. He caught me up on what I missed and I lied to him about everything. I couldn't help but feel guilty about lying to him, but I had to do it. I told him that my aunt and grandmother were sick and I was the one that had to take care of them until my cousin came down from New York. He asked me why I never answered my phone and I has to tell him that I forgot my charger. I thought it wouldn't be very convincing but was wronged when he nodded his head in agreement.

---

Lunch eventually came and I sat outside. The sun was out and I wasn't going to risk any chances of missing it. I was thankful when it was just me. The warm sun rays kissed my skin and I felt it become warmer the longer I sat in the sun. It was the only thing that made me happy. I sat there for a long time, just by myself. Yeah, I liked talking to Gerard but I felt like I need to distance myself from him. The distance wasn't because I was feeling sick of him, but my temptations grew bigger the longer I stayed with him, and I wasn't going to risk that again. I went the rest of the day without talking to him. When school got out I got my snack, feeling hungrier than usual. After my snack I raced to my apartment.

I took my usual nap and felt somewhat relieved. After talking to Gerard today, I knew he didn't know about me. It made me feel slightly better. As long I kept myself under control, he never would know. Something told me that would be easier than it always seemed. As long as I kept my distance. But as I thought about him more, my anxiety came back. It was for a different reason. I liked Gerard.

Notes

Hey loves. Sorry I was gone for two weeks.
I've been feeling really burnt out lately and have no inspiration to write.
I really like this chapter bc it's longer than usual. Or at least I think it is.
I love you and please keep reading.
Stay Ugly bbys