Very Much Alive
Decisions, Decisions
-Frank's POV-
With every step as I neared the Creative Writing classroom, my heartbeat continually got faster and faster. 'I only have to make it through this class. Just don't stare at Mr. Way, or his lovely hair or perfect skin or firm ass or-STOP IT!' A lot was going through my mind. What am I going to say? What is he going to say? What is he going to do? What do I want him to do? That last question sent my head into a spiral. It was such a good question, one I wish I knew the answer to...
I entered the classroom. It was only about half full at that point, so I took my usual spot near the back. As I pulled out my writing pad, someone approached me.
"Mind if I sit here-Frank, wasn't it?" It was the Terra girl from Art. 'Since when was she in my writing class?' I wondered.
"Yeah, whatever," I responded unenthusiastically. She smiled, taking the seat to my right. She pulled out her notebooks and pencil. I noticed that there was a bunch of cut out pictures plastered all over it. They ranged from the Misfits logo to Breaking Bad to Batman. It was everything I liked all on a book. 'Oh god, I bet she's one of those hipster chicks that pretend to be into the 'old stuff' and 'hates mainstream'. Hmm... I know what to do...' "So you like Misfits? What's your favorite song?" I was sure I had her.
"Favorite song? It's impossible to pick just one! Probably something from "Walk Among Us" but I'm not sure..." she answered. Okay, so she knew a little bit about them. Big deal. A single album just wasn't gonna cut it for me.
"Which era ya like better?" Now that as a real Misfits test, it usually weeded out the true fans from posers. Of course she would get it wrong and have no idea what I was talking about.
"Danzig, hands down," she replied with a smirk. Well dammit... I narrowed my eyes slightly, then smiled. "It's a shame, I think they went downhill with Graves. Personally, I think he's alright, but Danzig was better, ya know?"
"Hmm, gotta admit, you know more than the average person." I had to give her credit. Most people I've talked to don't even know the Misfits, let alone listen to them. This girl was interesting. "What other bands do you like?" I probed.
"The Ramones, Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen, Nirvana-"
"Really? Name three other songs besides Smells Like Teen Spirit off of "Nevermind." Now if she could get this, I'd be amazed. My hopes weren't that high though.
"Lithium, Come as You Are, and In Bloom," she responded, that classic 'winning' look covering her face. "Have I earned your approval yet, or are you going to keep testing me? I know do know my bands, jackass," she teased with a smile. This girl was as fiery as the red locks on her head.
"Oh I'll leave you alone... for now," I joked back. Did I just make a friend? No, that did not just happen.
The last bell rang, and students were hurrying to their seats as the sex god himself- er, no, can't think like that yet- as Mr. Way stepped in the room. "Afternoon class, hope you're not worn out already because you've got stories to write!" A few people started up with a chorus of groans in response. "Yeah yeah, I know. Trust me I wanna go home too, but we've got to get down to business now. They ain't gonna write themselves," he said, throwing a hand in the air. Sassy little thing he was. I just loved how he could switch from being this sexy, mysterious beast to a sassy dork. It only made him more adorable, goddammit! "So last night, I went through the short stories and graded them. Uh, striped hoodie, pass these out for me, would you?" Mr. Way continued talking as the student did as he asked. "They were all pretty decent for your first attempt. Frank, Terra, I applaud you guys. Both of your writings were fantastic!" I glanced over at Terra, who then returned my look. I really hoped my face wasn't as red as hers.
When I got my paper back, there was a large 100% circled in red on the back. Terra's had the same. "Okay that was a fun little 'get to know you' thing. Now let's get started with your first for real assignment. Everyone find a partner," 'Well I would gladly choose you, Mista Way...-shut UPPP!' I have never been good at working with people. I, naturally, am a loner. I just sat there like an idiot as everyone else rushed to grab their best friends. It seemed like such an easy task for everybody else. Everyone except me. I noticed that Terra was also still sitting. I guess she doesn't have any friends in this class either. She looked over at me, silently agreeing to work with each other. It could've been worse, I suppose.
After another minute, Mr. Way started talking again. "Cool, so I see everyone has a partner..." He started skimming his eyes over the groups, nodding in approval. When he finally got to me and Terra, his smile faltered. It quickly recovered, but those intense eyes didn't. They looked... hurt. He shook slightly and moved on away from us. 'No, that was your imagination, he doesn't care about you... not like that. And you know it,' my left side barked. My right desperately tried to protest, but I figured it would be best to block it out and believe my logical side for that matter. "Okay, I want the two of you to write a short scene for a movie or play. It can be any genre- horror, comedy, romance, whatever. Make it school appropriate. Other than that, no restrictions. Get to work, I'll be at my desk if you need anything." 'Yeah I need something right now, it's called a Gerard Way...' I shook that thought off in a hurry. Now was not the time, we needed to start working anyway.
Coming up with an idea proved to be quite a challenge. "Let's just do something simple," I pleaded.
"No, no, no. Mr. Way apparently liked our last pieces a lot so he's going to expect a lot from us in this project. We could do some sort of comedy. We both seem to be pretty sarcastic," she argued.
"I'm not sure, not a lot of people appreciate my twisted, dry humor. Horror seems too obvious though. I bet a lot of people are doing that," I combated. She rolled her eyes.
"Well, this is difficult. Do you have any suggestions?" I had plenty of ideas, just not good ones, or ones I wasn't comfortable enough to share. "Look, we only have about 10 minutes left." That meant fifteen minutes until my meeting with Gerard. "What if we just started writing, check back in with each other tomorrow? Maybe then we could decide on something."
"Uh, alright. Seeing as how we can't come up with anything else, that sounds like the best option." We both got out paper. She started scribbling ideas down furiously while I sat there, staring at the blank paper. Every now and then I would pick up the pencil and hold it like I was about to write something. But then nothing would come to me, and I would sit the pencil down again. I normally had demented scenes and ideas running through my head all the time. Things like undead ballerinas, Harry Houdini's last performance, parades that led me to my death... It's like all my creative juices went into the lyrics I had written yesterday, now all dried up and useless. This ten minutes could not have lasted longer.
While sitting there, I listened in to the other peoples' conversations. I heard that one team doing a modern Romeo and Juliet spin-off which sounded incredibly stupid and sappy to me. Another group was thinking about doing a serious Shakespearian type monologue. Nothing sounded great, which was disappointing but not that surprising. Everything was just so... shallow and emotionless.
With that I broke out of my speculations and into the real world. I looked over at Terra, who was still writing frantically. She had already written about a full page, little notes here and there, things scratched out and inserted. It looked like an atomic bomb had been filled with words and then exploded all over her paper. She finally stopped to catch her breath once the bell rang. When she looked up, she scanned the paper and smiled contentedly. She then looked over at my blank paper, then up at me with a glare.
"You had ten minutes and got nothing done? Really?" she said exasperatedly. I wasn't really sure what to say other than I had a major writing block. She only rolled her eyes and started packing up her things. "Better have something tomorrow, don't think for a second that I'll be doing all the work." Damn she was feisty. She threw her backpack over her shoulder and left without another word. I didn't realize how short she until today. Finding someone shorter than me was a miracle. It was usually due to a birth defect or disease, but for her it was normal. She had a lot of bite packed into her pathetic frame, like me.
I averted my eyes away from her over to Mr. Way, who was standing behind his desk. He nodded to me and left the room, probably as a signal that he would be next door in the Art class, waiting. I guess it was that time. Time for everything to either become my fantasy dream or the usual, miserable reality that I loathed. I finished packing my things, got Pansy and walked out of class. The Art door was shut, though I could see a bit of light peeking out from under the bottom crack. I raised a fist to knock, but something was pulling me back. 'Should I knock?' I had been so caught up on having to talk to him all day. 'Of course I'm knocking, what's wrong with me?' Before that moment, I had only thought that I had to talk to him, but now... I never realized that I could just walk away and forget it ever happened. I could never talk to him again, unless necessary. He'd forever be Mr. Way, nothing more. It was decision time for me. Every possible outcome started to play out in my mind. I could knock, enter, talk, and we'd become friends or he'd hate me forever. I could not knock and never talk to him again. Walk away, like the coward I was. I could take my god awful life in my own hands for once and do something with it. If I did knock, it could turn out a dream-come-true or end in my heart breaking. At least I could walk away knowing I gave it a shot or not and never have to know. Decisions, decisions.
With every step as I neared the Creative Writing classroom, my heartbeat continually got faster and faster. 'I only have to make it through this class. Just don't stare at Mr. Way, or his lovely hair or perfect skin or firm ass or-STOP IT!' A lot was going through my mind. What am I going to say? What is he going to say? What is he going to do? What do I want him to do? That last question sent my head into a spiral. It was such a good question, one I wish I knew the answer to...
I entered the classroom. It was only about half full at that point, so I took my usual spot near the back. As I pulled out my writing pad, someone approached me.
"Mind if I sit here-Frank, wasn't it?" It was the Terra girl from Art. 'Since when was she in my writing class?' I wondered.
"Yeah, whatever," I responded unenthusiastically. She smiled, taking the seat to my right. She pulled out her notebooks and pencil. I noticed that there was a bunch of cut out pictures plastered all over it. They ranged from the Misfits logo to Breaking Bad to Batman. It was everything I liked all on a book. 'Oh god, I bet she's one of those hipster chicks that pretend to be into the 'old stuff' and 'hates mainstream'. Hmm... I know what to do...' "So you like Misfits? What's your favorite song?" I was sure I had her.
"Favorite song? It's impossible to pick just one! Probably something from "Walk Among Us" but I'm not sure..." she answered. Okay, so she knew a little bit about them. Big deal. A single album just wasn't gonna cut it for me.
"Which era ya like better?" Now that as a real Misfits test, it usually weeded out the true fans from posers. Of course she would get it wrong and have no idea what I was talking about.
"Danzig, hands down," she replied with a smirk. Well dammit... I narrowed my eyes slightly, then smiled. "It's a shame, I think they went downhill with Graves. Personally, I think he's alright, but Danzig was better, ya know?"
"Hmm, gotta admit, you know more than the average person." I had to give her credit. Most people I've talked to don't even know the Misfits, let alone listen to them. This girl was interesting. "What other bands do you like?" I probed.
"The Ramones, Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen, Nirvana-"
"Really? Name three other songs besides Smells Like Teen Spirit off of "Nevermind." Now if she could get this, I'd be amazed. My hopes weren't that high though.
"Lithium, Come as You Are, and In Bloom," she responded, that classic 'winning' look covering her face. "Have I earned your approval yet, or are you going to keep testing me? I know do know my bands, jackass," she teased with a smile. This girl was as fiery as the red locks on her head.
"Oh I'll leave you alone... for now," I joked back. Did I just make a friend? No, that did not just happen.
The last bell rang, and students were hurrying to their seats as the sex god himself- er, no, can't think like that yet- as Mr. Way stepped in the room. "Afternoon class, hope you're not worn out already because you've got stories to write!" A few people started up with a chorus of groans in response. "Yeah yeah, I know. Trust me I wanna go home too, but we've got to get down to business now. They ain't gonna write themselves," he said, throwing a hand in the air. Sassy little thing he was. I just loved how he could switch from being this sexy, mysterious beast to a sassy dork. It only made him more adorable, goddammit! "So last night, I went through the short stories and graded them. Uh, striped hoodie, pass these out for me, would you?" Mr. Way continued talking as the student did as he asked. "They were all pretty decent for your first attempt. Frank, Terra, I applaud you guys. Both of your writings were fantastic!" I glanced over at Terra, who then returned my look. I really hoped my face wasn't as red as hers.
When I got my paper back, there was a large 100% circled in red on the back. Terra's had the same. "Okay that was a fun little 'get to know you' thing. Now let's get started with your first for real assignment. Everyone find a partner," 'Well I would gladly choose you, Mista Way...-shut UPPP!' I have never been good at working with people. I, naturally, am a loner. I just sat there like an idiot as everyone else rushed to grab their best friends. It seemed like such an easy task for everybody else. Everyone except me. I noticed that Terra was also still sitting. I guess she doesn't have any friends in this class either. She looked over at me, silently agreeing to work with each other. It could've been worse, I suppose.
After another minute, Mr. Way started talking again. "Cool, so I see everyone has a partner..." He started skimming his eyes over the groups, nodding in approval. When he finally got to me and Terra, his smile faltered. It quickly recovered, but those intense eyes didn't. They looked... hurt. He shook slightly and moved on away from us. 'No, that was your imagination, he doesn't care about you... not like that. And you know it,' my left side barked. My right desperately tried to protest, but I figured it would be best to block it out and believe my logical side for that matter. "Okay, I want the two of you to write a short scene for a movie or play. It can be any genre- horror, comedy, romance, whatever. Make it school appropriate. Other than that, no restrictions. Get to work, I'll be at my desk if you need anything." 'Yeah I need something right now, it's called a Gerard Way...' I shook that thought off in a hurry. Now was not the time, we needed to start working anyway.
Coming up with an idea proved to be quite a challenge. "Let's just do something simple," I pleaded.
"No, no, no. Mr. Way apparently liked our last pieces a lot so he's going to expect a lot from us in this project. We could do some sort of comedy. We both seem to be pretty sarcastic," she argued.
"I'm not sure, not a lot of people appreciate my twisted, dry humor. Horror seems too obvious though. I bet a lot of people are doing that," I combated. She rolled her eyes.
"Well, this is difficult. Do you have any suggestions?" I had plenty of ideas, just not good ones, or ones I wasn't comfortable enough to share. "Look, we only have about 10 minutes left." That meant fifteen minutes until my meeting with Gerard. "What if we just started writing, check back in with each other tomorrow? Maybe then we could decide on something."
"Uh, alright. Seeing as how we can't come up with anything else, that sounds like the best option." We both got out paper. She started scribbling ideas down furiously while I sat there, staring at the blank paper. Every now and then I would pick up the pencil and hold it like I was about to write something. But then nothing would come to me, and I would sit the pencil down again. I normally had demented scenes and ideas running through my head all the time. Things like undead ballerinas, Harry Houdini's last performance, parades that led me to my death... It's like all my creative juices went into the lyrics I had written yesterday, now all dried up and useless. This ten minutes could not have lasted longer.
While sitting there, I listened in to the other peoples' conversations. I heard that one team doing a modern Romeo and Juliet spin-off which sounded incredibly stupid and sappy to me. Another group was thinking about doing a serious Shakespearian type monologue. Nothing sounded great, which was disappointing but not that surprising. Everything was just so... shallow and emotionless.
With that I broke out of my speculations and into the real world. I looked over at Terra, who was still writing frantically. She had already written about a full page, little notes here and there, things scratched out and inserted. It looked like an atomic bomb had been filled with words and then exploded all over her paper. She finally stopped to catch her breath once the bell rang. When she looked up, she scanned the paper and smiled contentedly. She then looked over at my blank paper, then up at me with a glare.
"You had ten minutes and got nothing done? Really?" she said exasperatedly. I wasn't really sure what to say other than I had a major writing block. She only rolled her eyes and started packing up her things. "Better have something tomorrow, don't think for a second that I'll be doing all the work." Damn she was feisty. She threw her backpack over her shoulder and left without another word. I didn't realize how short she until today. Finding someone shorter than me was a miracle. It was usually due to a birth defect or disease, but for her it was normal. She had a lot of bite packed into her pathetic frame, like me.
I averted my eyes away from her over to Mr. Way, who was standing behind his desk. He nodded to me and left the room, probably as a signal that he would be next door in the Art class, waiting. I guess it was that time. Time for everything to either become my fantasy dream or the usual, miserable reality that I loathed. I finished packing my things, got Pansy and walked out of class. The Art door was shut, though I could see a bit of light peeking out from under the bottom crack. I raised a fist to knock, but something was pulling me back. 'Should I knock?' I had been so caught up on having to talk to him all day. 'Of course I'm knocking, what's wrong with me?' Before that moment, I had only thought that I had to talk to him, but now... I never realized that I could just walk away and forget it ever happened. I could never talk to him again, unless necessary. He'd forever be Mr. Way, nothing more. It was decision time for me. Every possible outcome started to play out in my mind. I could knock, enter, talk, and we'd become friends or he'd hate me forever. I could not knock and never talk to him again. Walk away, like the coward I was. I could take my god awful life in my own hands for once and do something with it. If I did knock, it could turn out a dream-come-true or end in my heart breaking. At least I could walk away knowing I gave it a shot or not and never have to know. Decisions, decisions.
Notes
Sorry to post this so late, it took me longer to write than I had expected. Also, sorry to leave with a cliffhanger (not really) but I hope you enjoyed! Another chapter tomorrow
-xo OfSaintsandSinners
Love it.
1/25/16