Very Much Alive
Drown In My Sorrows
-Frank's POV-
I trudged through the halls, maneuvering my way through a ton of sophomores who were all about 2 or 3 inches taller than me. Wetness was collecting in my eyes, bunching up near the corners. 'Don't you dare fucking cry over this. You knew it would happen sooner or later...' Trigonometry class was next and I needed all my wits about me in order to distract myself-err, pay attention. Yeah, pay attention, not drown in my sorrows. I made it into Room 23, my body felt a thousand times heavier. It's like the gravitational pull on me had increased since talking with Gerard. 'I guess I'll have to call him Mr. Way from now on, that's all he'll ever be... a teacher.'
Mr. Deeds was not here today-Thank God, I was not in the mood to here that old man ramble or bore me with some anecdote from his past. He had left us with a young, female substitute. She was nothing special- mid-twenties, brunette, brown eyes, and minimum makeup. Mr. Deeds left her instructions to pass out a worksheet that we were to complete and then let us read/do whatever the rest of class. I stared blankly down at the worksheet, all the equations and formulas jumbling around in my head. I felt numb, I just couldn't do anything. The teacher had her back to us (bad idea) and I was sitting near a door, so I snicked out. Just like that-gathered my stuff, and tiptoed out the door without her ever noticing. I wasn't really sure where I was going or what I was going to do-I just need to move. It makes things less awkward, gives me something to do. Distracts me. My eyes were still a little wet from earlier, so I went to the boys bathroom to check my eyeliner. As I had guessed, it was smudged around the corners. I ran my fingers under the tap water, wiped away the excess, and then reapplied the charcoal-coloured liner. I was almost finished with my right eye when I thought I heard something. I stopped. Nothing. I continued on with my left eye and thought I saw movement. I capped the eyeliner and turned around and -BAM! My face was pressed against the tile in an instant, bones being crushed under an unspeakable weight.
"'Sup faggot!" That voice sounded familiar... why the hell had he just tackled me?! "Oh am I gonna make you pay for your dumbass stunt from Wednesday," my attacker barked, as someone else kicked my ribs. A white flash of pain tore through me. 'Wednesday, what happened Wedn-...Jordan.' Jordan: the douchebag womanizer. Jordan: the jock that has terrorized me since freshman year. He was a year older than me, he had gotten held back and repeated 9th grade twice. 'How had he known I was in here?' I was interrupted by another blow, this time to my stomach, which sent another jolt of twinge of unimaginable agony throughout my body. "So who have you been sucking off this week, fag?" he grabbed my head by the hair and slammed it back against the floor as hard as he could. I landed on the side of it luckily, but it still sent my teeth clattering together. "Is it that Toro kid, or maybe the new artsy freak Way? Wouldn't surprise me if you were going after teachers you whore..." he spit. I killed me that he dared to talk about Gerard like that, the jackass. There wasn't much I could do though, so I remained silent. "Oi fellas, what should we do to the pathetic little gay girl?" I rotated my head as far as I could, considering Jordan was straddling my back. I counted four other feet, meaning he had brought two of his sidekick gorillas with him. Funny that he didn't have the courage to take me on alone...
Unfortunately, I was too lost in thought to realize that he had grabbed my hair once more, bashing my face straight into the floor-this time I landed on my nose. I could feel blood trickle down onto my upper lip and saw a drip fall onto the floor. My body felt numb. Whether it was from the pain and Jordan suffocating me under ridiculous mass or still from losing Gerard, I wasn't sure. "How 'bout we pummel this kid's face in so hard, no one will pay to fuck him. He'll be out of a job!" one joked, sending the rest into a roar of snickers. Jordan hopped off of me, allowing me to breathe again before flipping me onto my back with a kick of his foot. I could briefly see a disgusting purple/greenish bruise right on his jaw line. 'Nice job Ray!' One of his goons stomped into my ribcage, probably bruising it. The other got me right in the groin and Jordan sent a punch to my jaw. My whole body cried out in misery, the throbs of pain made me convulse violently. I just couldn't fight back. Normally I would try to defend myself, but I felt like I had deserved this. I lied there and let them at me. 'You deserve it. You're worthless, pathetic and no one loves you. You-you're like...'
"You're like your deadbeat dad, cocksucker!" That was it. By some miracle, an adrenaline-fueled, 'last ditch effort' miracle, I picked myself off the ground and lunged at Jordan. I collided with him, sending him stumbling back and hit his head against the wall. It made a pretty obvious 'crack' noise. He crumpled to the ground as I collapsed once more, his buddies gathering around him. "GET HIM!" he shouted. The two morons hovered over me, taking shots at various parts of my body. An eternity seemed to pass, the once unbearably sharp blows now fading into rough pulses, like it was nothing. They just kept coming and coming... "You're no fun, let's leave before someone sees," one of his followers suggested. They started for the door, but Jordon stopped in his tracks-a single step away from the exit. 'Oh damnit, just leave me alone already...'
"One last thing..." he mumbled. He turned on his heel and started over to my crumpled body. I rolled my head over to look at him-dead in the eyes- and smirked. He grabbed my collar and pulled me close to his face, his hot, horrid breath choking me. "Wipe that shitty smirk off, bitch," he snapped, sending a spray of saliva on me, "and consider this a warning. Next time you dare to pull shit like that, it won't end as merciful as this time. I'll make you scream-not like you scream for your fuckbuddies, no-you'll be begging to live once I'm through with you next time. GOT IT?" he pushed me away and my head collided with the floor. His foot connected with my side for the last time and he sauntered away, not before washing off his blood-covered knuckles. I knew it was my blood. My blood was also covering the tiles, my shirt, some had even gotten on the walls. My vision was very blurry now. Blackness was trickling through my eyesight, white spots pounded along with every heart beat. My head throbbed. My entire body felt useless. Despite all that, I refused to let him have the last word.
"Fuck you and go to hell, you bastard." He didn't hear me, which I was kind of glad for. He probably would've killed me if he had. I have to admit, I'm surprised I'm not dead already. My vision was slipping now, in and out of darkness. The last thing I saw was a pair of shoes running to me, a distant voice calling my name, yelling it. Someone was shaking me, cradling me, telling me to hold on. Then it all faded to black. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I woke up again, I was in the nurse's office, sprawled out on one of the cheap mattresses for patients. 'But I'm not a patient... why am I even here?' When I tried to turn over, the excruciating agony reminded me of the recent events. It was blurry, but I recall Jordon beating me to a pulp. I think there were people with him...
"F-Frank?" a voice called. I wasn't sure who it was. A soft hand encased mine. "Oh Frank, I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner..." A face hovered over mine, but it was too blurry to make out. A black aura lingered over their head, I could only assume it was hair. Whoever it was began comforting me as the darkness started trickling through my vision again. My eyelids fluttered and faltered. "No, please no. Don't do this again!" I couldn't fight it. I felt myself slipping away once more. The blackness overcame me and I was gone again.
I trudged through the halls, maneuvering my way through a ton of sophomores who were all about 2 or 3 inches taller than me. Wetness was collecting in my eyes, bunching up near the corners. 'Don't you dare fucking cry over this. You knew it would happen sooner or later...' Trigonometry class was next and I needed all my wits about me in order to distract myself-err, pay attention. Yeah, pay attention, not drown in my sorrows. I made it into Room 23, my body felt a thousand times heavier. It's like the gravitational pull on me had increased since talking with Gerard. 'I guess I'll have to call him Mr. Way from now on, that's all he'll ever be... a teacher.'
Mr. Deeds was not here today-Thank God, I was not in the mood to here that old man ramble or bore me with some anecdote from his past. He had left us with a young, female substitute. She was nothing special- mid-twenties, brunette, brown eyes, and minimum makeup. Mr. Deeds left her instructions to pass out a worksheet that we were to complete and then let us read/do whatever the rest of class. I stared blankly down at the worksheet, all the equations and formulas jumbling around in my head. I felt numb, I just couldn't do anything. The teacher had her back to us (bad idea) and I was sitting near a door, so I snicked out. Just like that-gathered my stuff, and tiptoed out the door without her ever noticing. I wasn't really sure where I was going or what I was going to do-I just need to move. It makes things less awkward, gives me something to do. Distracts me. My eyes were still a little wet from earlier, so I went to the boys bathroom to check my eyeliner. As I had guessed, it was smudged around the corners. I ran my fingers under the tap water, wiped away the excess, and then reapplied the charcoal-coloured liner. I was almost finished with my right eye when I thought I heard something. I stopped. Nothing. I continued on with my left eye and thought I saw movement. I capped the eyeliner and turned around and -BAM! My face was pressed against the tile in an instant, bones being crushed under an unspeakable weight.
"'Sup faggot!" That voice sounded familiar... why the hell had he just tackled me?! "Oh am I gonna make you pay for your dumbass stunt from Wednesday," my attacker barked, as someone else kicked my ribs. A white flash of pain tore through me. 'Wednesday, what happened Wedn-...Jordan.' Jordan: the douchebag womanizer. Jordan: the jock that has terrorized me since freshman year. He was a year older than me, he had gotten held back and repeated 9th grade twice. 'How had he known I was in here?' I was interrupted by another blow, this time to my stomach, which sent another jolt of twinge of unimaginable agony throughout my body. "So who have you been sucking off this week, fag?" he grabbed my head by the hair and slammed it back against the floor as hard as he could. I landed on the side of it luckily, but it still sent my teeth clattering together. "Is it that Toro kid, or maybe the new artsy freak Way? Wouldn't surprise me if you were going after teachers you whore..." he spit. I killed me that he dared to talk about Gerard like that, the jackass. There wasn't much I could do though, so I remained silent. "Oi fellas, what should we do to the pathetic little gay girl?" I rotated my head as far as I could, considering Jordan was straddling my back. I counted four other feet, meaning he had brought two of his sidekick gorillas with him. Funny that he didn't have the courage to take me on alone...
Unfortunately, I was too lost in thought to realize that he had grabbed my hair once more, bashing my face straight into the floor-this time I landed on my nose. I could feel blood trickle down onto my upper lip and saw a drip fall onto the floor. My body felt numb. Whether it was from the pain and Jordan suffocating me under ridiculous mass or still from losing Gerard, I wasn't sure. "How 'bout we pummel this kid's face in so hard, no one will pay to fuck him. He'll be out of a job!" one joked, sending the rest into a roar of snickers. Jordan hopped off of me, allowing me to breathe again before flipping me onto my back with a kick of his foot. I could briefly see a disgusting purple/greenish bruise right on his jaw line. 'Nice job Ray!' One of his goons stomped into my ribcage, probably bruising it. The other got me right in the groin and Jordan sent a punch to my jaw. My whole body cried out in misery, the throbs of pain made me convulse violently. I just couldn't fight back. Normally I would try to defend myself, but I felt like I had deserved this. I lied there and let them at me. 'You deserve it. You're worthless, pathetic and no one loves you. You-you're like...'
"You're like your deadbeat dad, cocksucker!" That was it. By some miracle, an adrenaline-fueled, 'last ditch effort' miracle, I picked myself off the ground and lunged at Jordan. I collided with him, sending him stumbling back and hit his head against the wall. It made a pretty obvious 'crack' noise. He crumpled to the ground as I collapsed once more, his buddies gathering around him. "GET HIM!" he shouted. The two morons hovered over me, taking shots at various parts of my body. An eternity seemed to pass, the once unbearably sharp blows now fading into rough pulses, like it was nothing. They just kept coming and coming... "You're no fun, let's leave before someone sees," one of his followers suggested. They started for the door, but Jordon stopped in his tracks-a single step away from the exit. 'Oh damnit, just leave me alone already...'
"One last thing..." he mumbled. He turned on his heel and started over to my crumpled body. I rolled my head over to look at him-dead in the eyes- and smirked. He grabbed my collar and pulled me close to his face, his hot, horrid breath choking me. "Wipe that shitty smirk off, bitch," he snapped, sending a spray of saliva on me, "and consider this a warning. Next time you dare to pull shit like that, it won't end as merciful as this time. I'll make you scream-not like you scream for your fuckbuddies, no-you'll be begging to live once I'm through with you next time. GOT IT?" he pushed me away and my head collided with the floor. His foot connected with my side for the last time and he sauntered away, not before washing off his blood-covered knuckles. I knew it was my blood. My blood was also covering the tiles, my shirt, some had even gotten on the walls. My vision was very blurry now. Blackness was trickling through my eyesight, white spots pounded along with every heart beat. My head throbbed. My entire body felt useless. Despite all that, I refused to let him have the last word.
"Fuck you and go to hell, you bastard." He didn't hear me, which I was kind of glad for. He probably would've killed me if he had. I have to admit, I'm surprised I'm not dead already. My vision was slipping now, in and out of darkness. The last thing I saw was a pair of shoes running to me, a distant voice calling my name, yelling it. Someone was shaking me, cradling me, telling me to hold on. Then it all faded to black. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I woke up again, I was in the nurse's office, sprawled out on one of the cheap mattresses for patients. 'But I'm not a patient... why am I even here?' When I tried to turn over, the excruciating agony reminded me of the recent events. It was blurry, but I recall Jordon beating me to a pulp. I think there were people with him...
"F-Frank?" a voice called. I wasn't sure who it was. A soft hand encased mine. "Oh Frank, I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner..." A face hovered over mine, but it was too blurry to make out. A black aura lingered over their head, I could only assume it was hair. Whoever it was began comforting me as the darkness started trickling through my vision again. My eyelids fluttered and faltered. "No, please no. Don't do this again!" I couldn't fight it. I felt myself slipping away once more. The blackness overcame me and I was gone again.
Notes
Okay, again this is shorter than normal, but I updated twice today. This was a good place to cut off, so yeah.... Thanks for reading! Please comment, rate and subscribe (it makes me type faster) and there will be more tomorrow!
-xo OfSaintsandSinners
Love it.
1/25/16