Who am I to you?

He's an asshole. How could I have loved him? How could I love him, after he so carelessly shattered my heart?

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!!??!?!" I screamsd, slamming the front door to my house. No one was home. Good.

I broke down then, sobbing and falling to my knees. I let the tears flow freely, shaking.

Soon my veins filled instead with rage. "I'M DONE! YOU HEAR ME? I. AM. DONE." I yelled at the ceiling, feeling the tears pouring down my cheeks. My heart was practically writhing in agony as I scrambled upstairs to my room. I ripped open my sock drawer, dumping everything on the bed. A glint caught the corner of my eye, and I snatched up the sharp little piece of metal. I had been weaning myself off of it for the past month and a half. I had bwen doing so well... Now I couldn't care less.

I stared at the blade, letting just the sight of it calm me down. Then I brought it down, ripping up the skin on my stomach and legs. It felt amazing, the sharp pangs that came from slashing up my body.

At first the blood had just been a trickle, but now It was starting to gush. I quickly cut a message into my arms. When I had finished, I raised the blade to my throat. I was just about to slit it when someone burst in. I was too dizzy to know who it was. They wrestled the bloody razor from my hand, yanking it away. I just giggled slightly, falling back onto my bed. Song lyrics were running in my mind.

Letting people down is my thing...
I don't have the right name or the right looks, but I have twice the heart...

Because I spilled
my guts
the world would never
look at you
the same way

and now I'm here
to give you all of my love
to watch your face
as I take it all away
away
awa-a-ay....

I heard a faint gasp from the person in the room just before I blacked out. They had seen my message.

'I love you, Gerard Way.'

Notes

Credit to Fall Out Boy and The Black Foxes for the lyrics, from the song 'Just One Yesterday'. I realize I skipped a lot of lyrics but that was what the ellipsis was signaling. MY PHONE IS A BITCH. I had this chapter all written an then my phone fucked up and reloaded AND I LOST THE WHOLE DAMN THING so I apologize for this shittier version.

ximakilljoywannabex