Gives You Hell
Are You Mine?
Brendon’s P.O.V.
I felt bad for kissing Mikey and instigating this affair, and Justin wasn’t the only reason why. Mikey was in a horrible state of mind and was in a vulnerable position- really, I was taking advantage of him, and I hated that. He deserved so much better than being given the love he thinks he needs.
As I carried Mikey to bed, I considered ending the affair with Mikey. What Justin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, after all. I could at least let Mikey know that if he needed anyone, he could always come to me. If he ever needed a shoulder to cry on or a friend to just hold him tightly, I would be there.
Then again, did I really want to give this up? As I laid down next to Mikey, who was sound asleep, I decided that I didn’t want it to end. I had missed holding him close like this, falling asleep with him wrapped in the safety of my arms. I missed kissing him softly and hearing his cute little giggle.
I missed calling him my Mikey Mouse.
As I held him close, I took in the appearance that wasn’t the same as it had been since we dated. New scars lined his pale skin, piercings that just didn’t match his personality covered his face (although I found the nose ring rather attractive), and I could see his ribs poking through. It worried me that he had undergone such changes, but I knew it wasn’t my fault. I held Mikey tighter, remembering that I used to be friends with the asshole that made the sleeping angel in my arms the way he is now.
“I love you, Mikey Mouse,” I murmured, kissing his forehead softly. I held him tightly, slowly falling asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, Mikey was in the process of getting dressed, tugging a Dead Kennedys shirt over his head. I got out of bed and pulled him into a hug from behind, kissing his cheek. “’Morning, Mikes.”
Mikey rested his head on my shoulder, yawning. “G’morning, Bren.” He turned around and buried his face into the crook of my neck. I kissed the top of his head, gently rubbing his back.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I tried to kiss him, but he pulled away.
“Brendon, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered, “But I… I can’t keep doing this. It’s just… it’s not fair to Justin.” Tears began to slide down his cheeks, prompting me to wipe them away with my thumb.
“Mikes…” I held him tightly, resting my head on top of his. “Oh, Mikey… please don’t cry.” I tilted his head up so I could look him in the eye.
“Listen to me, Mikes. I understand that you don’t want to go behind Justin’s back. I understand that you don’t want to hurt him. I shouldn’t have kissed you… I shouldn’t have started this. I’m so sorry, Mikey.” I stroked his hair, letting him cry into my chest.
When Mikey walked into class a few days later, he was in tears. As he sat down next to me, I gave him a concerned look, which he brushed off. This really concerned me- even after he changed so drastically, he never ignored me. He had also been avoiding me the past few days, and, for some strange reason, had started to hang out with Pete. Pete.
Since Mikey wouldn’t talk to me, I decided to go to Justin. He gave me a death glare, which gave me an answer as to why Mikey was suddenly avoiding us.
“Justin… why is Mikey hanging with Pete?”
“Why the fuck should I care?”
I was taken aback by Justin’s sudden bitterness. “Just, that son of a bitch raped you both and-”
“I don’t fucking care if Mikey hangs out with that asshole,” Justin spat bitterly. “As far as I’m concerned, the two of them deserve each other.”
I gave Justin a glare. “Justin, I know you’re angry, but I know you don’t mean th-”
“Yes, I fucking do! For all I care, Pete could rape Mikey all he wants-”
Angrily, my fist connected with Justin’s face. Justin fell to the floor, his nose bleeding. He gave me a glare before tackling me to the ground, punching me in the jaw.
“Brendon, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Ryan was trying to pry me off of Justin while some other kid tried to pull Justin away. They finally managed to pull us apart, and the teacher sent us to the nurse’s office, then to the principal’s office.
On the way back from the principal’s office, where we both had received four hours of detention, I sighed. “I… I’m sorry, Justin. I shouldn’t have hit you.”
“I kind of deserved it. Um… I’m sorry for saying that Pete should rape Mikey,” Justin sighed softly, “It just… it came out and I really didn’t mean it.”
“I know, man. We all say things when we’re angry.” I stopped and pulled him in for a tight hug. “I, uh… I assume you know what went down between Mikey and me while you were gone.” When Justin nodded, I sighed. “I’m so sorry. I want you to know that I was the one that started that. Mikey, he was just… he was so lonely. He started purging again, and I… I-”
“He started purging again?” Justin gave me a look of guilt. “Oh… I didn’t… I didn’t know.” Justin sighed, closing his eyes. “Shit, I’m a terrible friend.”
“Hey,” I said, “Don’t say that, Justin. You didn’t know.”
“Do you have any idea what I said to him when we broke up?” Justin asked me, “Do you have any idea what I called him? No wonder he’s hanging out with Pete… I’m an even bigger asshole than the guy that raped him”
I hesitated before asking, “Justin, what did you say to him?”
A few things that Justin told me would’ve been expected- slut, whore, and sleaze, just to name a few- but there were other, much worse things that Justin had said, things I tried my hardest to ignore.
“Okay, I expected some of that,” I admitted, “But you’re right- that was pretty low and you should feel bad about that.” When Justin looked down at the ground, ashamed, I gently lifted his face so that we were looking each other in the eye. “However… I can see that you do still care about Mikey.”
I sighed, wondering how we were going to fix things. In all honesty, I didn’t want to give Mikey to Justin. I loved him, and I wasn’t willing to give him up. Then again, I still had feelings for Justin, too. I wanted him to be happy, just like I wanted Mikey to be happy.
“Just,” I said, “I know this is going to make me sound like a creeper, but I just want you to hear me out.” Justin nodded, leaning against the lockers. “Okay, I know that this really sounds weird… but we both really like Mikey, and we care deeply for him. We hate to see him get hurt. We hate to see him upset. And I don’t know if the feeling is mutual or not, but… I still have feelings for you, too. I was thinking that maybe we could… um… make this work.”
Justin gave me an intrigued look. “Are you suggesting that we share Mikey?”
I nodded. “I know that it sounds really weird, but I figure that we can make this work.”
Justin seemed hesitant, but he nodded anyway and said, “I’m willing to give it a try… that is, if Mikey doesn’t hate me.”
I smiled and kissed Justin softly. “Don’t worry, Just. We’ll get everything straightened out.”
I felt bad for kissing Mikey and instigating this affair, and Justin wasn’t the only reason why. Mikey was in a horrible state of mind and was in a vulnerable position- really, I was taking advantage of him, and I hated that. He deserved so much better than being given the love he thinks he needs.
As I carried Mikey to bed, I considered ending the affair with Mikey. What Justin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, after all. I could at least let Mikey know that if he needed anyone, he could always come to me. If he ever needed a shoulder to cry on or a friend to just hold him tightly, I would be there.
Then again, did I really want to give this up? As I laid down next to Mikey, who was sound asleep, I decided that I didn’t want it to end. I had missed holding him close like this, falling asleep with him wrapped in the safety of my arms. I missed kissing him softly and hearing his cute little giggle.
I missed calling him my Mikey Mouse.
As I held him close, I took in the appearance that wasn’t the same as it had been since we dated. New scars lined his pale skin, piercings that just didn’t match his personality covered his face (although I found the nose ring rather attractive), and I could see his ribs poking through. It worried me that he had undergone such changes, but I knew it wasn’t my fault. I held Mikey tighter, remembering that I used to be friends with the asshole that made the sleeping angel in my arms the way he is now.
“I love you, Mikey Mouse,” I murmured, kissing his forehead softly. I held him tightly, slowly falling asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, Mikey was in the process of getting dressed, tugging a Dead Kennedys shirt over his head. I got out of bed and pulled him into a hug from behind, kissing his cheek. “’Morning, Mikes.”
Mikey rested his head on my shoulder, yawning. “G’morning, Bren.” He turned around and buried his face into the crook of my neck. I kissed the top of his head, gently rubbing his back.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I tried to kiss him, but he pulled away.
“Brendon, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered, “But I… I can’t keep doing this. It’s just… it’s not fair to Justin.” Tears began to slide down his cheeks, prompting me to wipe them away with my thumb.
“Mikes…” I held him tightly, resting my head on top of his. “Oh, Mikey… please don’t cry.” I tilted his head up so I could look him in the eye.
“Listen to me, Mikes. I understand that you don’t want to go behind Justin’s back. I understand that you don’t want to hurt him. I shouldn’t have kissed you… I shouldn’t have started this. I’m so sorry, Mikey.” I stroked his hair, letting him cry into my chest.
When Mikey walked into class a few days later, he was in tears. As he sat down next to me, I gave him a concerned look, which he brushed off. This really concerned me- even after he changed so drastically, he never ignored me. He had also been avoiding me the past few days, and, for some strange reason, had started to hang out with Pete. Pete.
Since Mikey wouldn’t talk to me, I decided to go to Justin. He gave me a death glare, which gave me an answer as to why Mikey was suddenly avoiding us.
“Justin… why is Mikey hanging with Pete?”
“Why the fuck should I care?”
I was taken aback by Justin’s sudden bitterness. “Just, that son of a bitch raped you both and-”
“I don’t fucking care if Mikey hangs out with that asshole,” Justin spat bitterly. “As far as I’m concerned, the two of them deserve each other.”
I gave Justin a glare. “Justin, I know you’re angry, but I know you don’t mean th-”
“Yes, I fucking do! For all I care, Pete could rape Mikey all he wants-”
Angrily, my fist connected with Justin’s face. Justin fell to the floor, his nose bleeding. He gave me a glare before tackling me to the ground, punching me in the jaw.
“Brendon, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Ryan was trying to pry me off of Justin while some other kid tried to pull Justin away. They finally managed to pull us apart, and the teacher sent us to the nurse’s office, then to the principal’s office.
On the way back from the principal’s office, where we both had received four hours of detention, I sighed. “I… I’m sorry, Justin. I shouldn’t have hit you.”
“I kind of deserved it. Um… I’m sorry for saying that Pete should rape Mikey,” Justin sighed softly, “It just… it came out and I really didn’t mean it.”
“I know, man. We all say things when we’re angry.” I stopped and pulled him in for a tight hug. “I, uh… I assume you know what went down between Mikey and me while you were gone.” When Justin nodded, I sighed. “I’m so sorry. I want you to know that I was the one that started that. Mikey, he was just… he was so lonely. He started purging again, and I… I-”
“He started purging again?” Justin gave me a look of guilt. “Oh… I didn’t… I didn’t know.” Justin sighed, closing his eyes. “Shit, I’m a terrible friend.”
“Hey,” I said, “Don’t say that, Justin. You didn’t know.”
“Do you have any idea what I said to him when we broke up?” Justin asked me, “Do you have any idea what I called him? No wonder he’s hanging out with Pete… I’m an even bigger asshole than the guy that raped him”
I hesitated before asking, “Justin, what did you say to him?”
A few things that Justin told me would’ve been expected- slut, whore, and sleaze, just to name a few- but there were other, much worse things that Justin had said, things I tried my hardest to ignore.
“Okay, I expected some of that,” I admitted, “But you’re right- that was pretty low and you should feel bad about that.” When Justin looked down at the ground, ashamed, I gently lifted his face so that we were looking each other in the eye. “However… I can see that you do still care about Mikey.”
I sighed, wondering how we were going to fix things. In all honesty, I didn’t want to give Mikey to Justin. I loved him, and I wasn’t willing to give him up. Then again, I still had feelings for Justin, too. I wanted him to be happy, just like I wanted Mikey to be happy.
“Just,” I said, “I know this is going to make me sound like a creeper, but I just want you to hear me out.” Justin nodded, leaning against the lockers. “Okay, I know that this really sounds weird… but we both really like Mikey, and we care deeply for him. We hate to see him get hurt. We hate to see him upset. And I don’t know if the feeling is mutual or not, but… I still have feelings for you, too. I was thinking that maybe we could… um… make this work.”
Justin gave me an intrigued look. “Are you suggesting that we share Mikey?”
I nodded. “I know that it sounds really weird, but I figure that we can make this work.”
Justin seemed hesitant, but he nodded anyway and said, “I’m willing to give it a try… that is, if Mikey doesn’t hate me.”
I smiled and kissed Justin softly. “Don’t worry, Just. We’ll get everything straightened out.”
@trini47
Not to sound rude or anything, but we've been incredibly busy lately and fan fiction takes a backseat to the real world. I'm not sure when it will be updated, but it will (eventually) be updated.
6/20/14