You're Beautiful To Me.

Gerard's P.O.V.

When we had arrived at the funeral, Mom was crying harder than she had been this whole time. I led her in along with Grandma and we sat on a pew. I tried to help Grandma clam her down, but it was no use. She kept crying and crying that it was almost getting tiring. But then again, I couldn't blame her. Losing a son must be the hardest thing ever. Even if she wasn't around 90% of the time. About ten minuets after I started trying to console her, Selena showed up. She looked shy walking in, but eventually spotted me so I waved her over. She looked like she'd never been to a funeral before and slowly made her way over to us. She was wearing a black dress I had never seen before, bright red lipstick and a small, feathered, top hat with a veil, clipped into her narrow curls. She actually looked really pretty, aside from the sad, empty look that surrounded her. I wasn't sure I was any different. I was in my plain black jacket and matching pants, with a black, button-down shirt underneath. I wore the jacket open, exposing my red tie to the world. The red tie was always Mikey's favorite piece of clothing of mine. He told me that it was like saying 'fuck you' to the world because it was rebellious. Selena finally made it over to us, so I introduced her to Mom.
"This is my mom." I said bluntly. "This is Mikey's... Was Mikey's girlfriend." I turned to Mom, correcting myself. Mom took a breath and began to talk for the first time since we got here.
"Oh my." She painted a temporary smile on her face and continued. "He had told me so much about you. He was right about how pretty you are too." A laugh escaped her lips. "Thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me and I'm sure it would mean a lot to... Mikey." She began to cry again and I gently rubbed her back and held her hand. Selena immediately looked awkward and grabbed her hand. Mom pulled herself together and stopped gasping for air. Selena's eyes searched for a way to escape and spoke again.
"I'm going to go say hi to Frank and Ray." She said. My mind instantly moved to Frank. I hadn't even greeted him this whole time. I felt so guilty. He probably thought that things were awkward between us. I still had feelings for him- big ones -but I didn't think that would be the right time. The ceremony finally started and the priest began to talk. I still wasn't listening very much, but I did catch some stuff. Things like "Mikey was great," "He was talented," and the oh-so common "He should still be here."
The priest asked for someone to come up and say a speech, so I nudged Mom and she obediently went and took the priests place.
"Mikey was my baby boy. He was always the best him he could be. I remember when he was really little, we would all go to the park together, him, Gerard, and their father, and I, and we would all have a picnic by the lake every Saturday." She began to tear up at the memory. "They always loved to go and play with each other. We had been the happiest family. I always loved that, and it will stay in my heart forever. Thank you for those memories, baby. I will always love you." She walked over to the casket and gave him a kiss.
"Anyone else?" The priest called. I shot out of my seat and awkwardly walked up to the podium. I never thought that I would be in this position. Having to stand in front of my dead brother and tell everyone about how great he was. Was. I hated that word. I officially hated it.
"Mikey's my brother. I'm not going to say was, because he still is my brother. Since we were little, we had always been best friends. It was that kind of bond that couldn't be broken by anything. Not life, not death. And it isn't broken. That bond remains on pause until we meet again. We have had our fights and our downs, and this may separate us for now, but you're still my baby brother. And you will always be my baby brother." I felt the tears pricking at my eyes, but I resisted the urge to cry. No matter how much I wanted to, I wasn't going to cry. I was done crying. "I love you Mikey." I walked over to the casket that held my baby brother and kissed his cold cheek. I looked down and noticed wet droplets on his tux, and realized I was crying.
"I'll see you on the other side when we meet again." I whispered to his soul. It wasn't there, but I knew it heard me. It had to hear me.
Up next was Selena. She moved with an awkward vibe, like she had on the first day of school.
"Mikey was... Is my boyfriend." She hesitated. "He was there for me when no one else was. He saved me from getting bullied on my very first day of school here." She looked at me and her words felt like knives. I forgot how bad I had actually been to her. It wasn't fair. She never deserved that. "I think it is true when I say I love him. I may only be 17, but I know what love feels like. It feels like what Mikey and I had. I had gone through a tragedy coming here. I lost my parents. So losing Mikey, was really hard on my heart, and on my soul." She paused and looked down at her hands. "So thank you, Mikey. Thank you for saving my life, even if it cost you yours. I love you now, and I will love you always, even when I'm not breathing." I could see tears falling from her eyes, as she finished. She walked over to Mikey and kissed him, then moved back to her seat. Frank moved toward the front and I averted my eyes from him.
"I don't quite know how to express my feelings about Mikey. He was like a brother to me. We had know each other since kindergarten, to now. We were inseparable, and still are. So for you Mikey," He turned toward the corpse. "I read you this poem." Frank had always had a secret passion for poetry. He could recite 112 poems on the dot if asked to. The only people that knew were Mikey, Ray, and me.
"Your spirit
Dancing through the trees.
Finally,
Your spirit is free.
You are gone on this Earth,
But you live on.
In friends, in family, in lovers.
In me." He walked over to the casket, stuffing the paper in with Mikey. Ray stood next and stumbled up to the podium. I could see his body shaking as he tried to speak.
"Mikey was..." Ray tried to speak, but tears welled in his eyes. He quickly wiped away each one with the back of his hand tried to continue. "Mikey was my best friend." He took a deep breath and went on. "I think Frank said it best when he said that we were inseparable. Because that's what we were. My favorite memory of him and I, was in the sixth grade. All four of us were at a park on the old swing set. And through the gate, walk these two girls." I knew this story like the back of my hand. He was nervous as hell, but did it anyways. Ray laughed at himself and I couldn't help but laugh at the memory too. I think I even heard Frank behind me laughing, resulting in a tingly feeling in my stomach. "We all egged him on to go get the girls numbers, being the hormonal teenage boys we were. He agreed and walked over to them with the most confidence I had ever seen in a sixth grader. Or anyone for that matter. He went over there and 'wow'ed them with his confidence, saying things like 'Hey ladies, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?' " Tears fell from his eyes when he laughed. I could tell that they were 50% sadness but 50% joy. "And he got those girls numbers. Both of them. I was really proud of him that day." He said. He moved over toward the casket and spoke directly to Mikey. "Thank you for being my friend Mikey. We screamed, we cried, we succeeded, we failed, but on top of all of that, we laughed. We made memories. And I can't ever repay you or thank you enough for that. Thank you Mikey Way." He said with a smile. Big, fat, wet tears fell onto his cheeks as he walked back to his seat. My eyes followed him all the way to his seat, where my eyes met with Frank's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We all moved out to the cemetery and stood by where they were going to lower him. It was raining out so we had a confined space of shading. The hardest part was when they lowered him into the ground, sealing him in the dirt for the rest of eternity. We all placed red roses in with him, one by one. Another bouquet was placed on top of the coffin and they lowered him in. It made me sadder than I had ever been to be standing there, having my baby brother being locked under six feet of dirt. Funny to think, just a week ago we were talking and laughing together. Funny how life works out.

Notes

GUYS I THINK THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE NEXT BUT IDK. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO WRITE IT BC IMMA MAKE MYSELF SAD ND I DON'T WANNA DO THAT, BUT I HAVE TO WRITE IT AND THE ONLY WAY TO IS TO BE SAD UGH SO CONFLICTED. I ALMOST MADE MYSELF CRY RE-READING THE LAST CHAPTER AHHH WHY IS LIFE DIFFICULT.

Be watching out for the last chapter btw for the mini contest to write a collab with me c: (Follow me on Tumblr c: sponge the cat c:)