Frankie's Suicide (Frerard)

He likes me. He touched my face. He was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him. Why have I never had that feeling before? When I had my first kiss with a girl I didn't feel anything. I didnt feel anything when I had sex with girls either. Gerard didn't even kiss me and I was a wreck. Maybe I am gay. Nah, I can't see myself dating Gerard. Can I? No. I dont know. Why is this happening to me? I shouldnt even be here. I should have never met him. I should be 6 feet under. I wonder what Gerard will think when I kill myself.
"Frank?" I look to my door to see a nurse holding a bundle on clothing "Your mum dropped these off but she said she couldn't stay"
"Why not?" Why wouldn't she stay? I havent seen her since the hospital. Im in a fucking psych hospital, what the hell is she doing thats so important she can't visit her only fucking son in hospital.
"She, uh, she didn't say" The nurse said, leaving the pile of clothes on my dresser.
"How are you doing today Frank?" She asked, coming to sit beside me
"I'm fine" I lie
"You don't look fine"
"Well I am" I reply stubbornly
"Frank, we're not here to judge you. We're here to help you get better. You can come to us about anything and we'll do our best to help"
"Okay" I respond, still not meeting her gaze.
"You know where to find me if you change your mind"
She waits a minute for a response but I don't give her one. I don't want to talk to any nurse. I don't need to. I wish I wasn't here. I wish I was dead.

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1 week later
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I've kind of gotten into a routine now. Breakfast, group, lunch, hang out with the gang, dinner, hang out, bed. Bob usually goes off to his room after meals which I'm kind of grateful for. He scares me. Not once has he said a word to me. All he does is glare at everything. My mum hasnt visited but has apparently been in contact with Dr.Collins. It's friday which means no group tomorrow. A nurse took the bandages off my hands but I still have to wear bandages on my wrists.
I'm in the theater room with Gerard, Jaime and Ray. Theres two red, leather couches in front of a TV with entire bookshelves filled with DVDs. Jamie thought watching the lion king would be a brilliant idea.
After that incident in Gerards room, we havent talked about it but Gee is acting like it never happened. I cant stop going over that moment in my head. What did it mean? It's still a bit awkward between us.
Gerard and I are on one couch, Ray's lying on the other, and Jamie's sitting on the floor in front of him.
Scar is about to kill Mufasa when Ray starts snoring. Gerard laughs at him and his cute giggle makes me wanna go awww.
"Oh no" Gerard say, turning his attention back to the movie, Mufasa's getting trampled and Gee looks horrified
"Haven't you ever seen this before?" I ask him
"No, oh my god, Simba! No, dont look Simba!"
I cant help but laugh because he looks genuinely upset by a cartoon. He's sitting cross-legged on the couch, hugging a pillow. He's so adorable.
I end up watching him more than I watch the movie.
When the credits start rolling, I realize that Jamie is asleep and has her hand in Ray's. Gerard looks at me and says "That was amazing" referring to the movie
"Yeah I guess" I say with a laugh "What do you want to do now?"
He stares into my eyes for a moment and says in a low voice "Do you wanna hang out in my room?"
My heart stops. What does he mean by that? Is he going to try something again? I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I guess I do kind of like him though. I dont know, whatever happens, happens. He probably hasnt even given what happened with us a second thought.
"Yeah, sure"
We walk down the hall to his room silently. It's awkward. He seems tense.
He opens the door for me to go in first. There are more sketches on his walls now. Theres a few crumpled-up pieces of paper on his desk. I wonder over to the desk and see he has left his sketch book open. The picture in the sketch book kind of looks like me. Actually, it looks a lot like me. I pick it up to examine it closer. It even has my scorpion tattoo on the neck. It is me. It's me, sitting cross-legged and laughing. He makes me look so happy. It's really detailed. Why would he draw this?
"Gee...." I don't know what to say
He's still standing by the door. I look him in the eyes and he looks shy and embarrassed.
"I love your smile. I wanted to capture it" He uttered
I slowly put the sketch book down without breaking eye contact. I don't have words to describe what I'm feeling. He's so perfect. And I'm so... imperfect.
Before I have time to second-guess what I'm doing, I walk over to him and without hesitation, I put my hands on either side of his face and bring his face down to meet mine in a passionate kiss.
At first, he seems a bit shocked but it doesnt take him long to reciprocate. His hands wind around my waist and pull me closer to him. I push against him, making him lean against the wall. His lips are soft and his body is warm. Just like I imagined. His tongue finds its way into my mouth and he massages my tongue with his own. I wrap my arms around his neck and without breaking the kiss, he guides me backwards until I feel something push on the back of my knee caps, making me fall backwards. I land on his bed and he stands over me, staring at me for a moment before he's on top of me and kissing me again. My heart feels like its going to beat out of my chest. His touch feels so good. I can feel his erection trough his jeans against my own. He grinds it against me while my tongue invades his mouth. He starts kissing my jaw and then my neck with his hand on the other side of my face. I tilt my head back to allow him easier access to my neck. He pecks the base of my neck before he licks it slowly and kisses it some more. I can't stop the moan that comes from my mouth. He kisses my collar bone and it makes my whole body tingle. I push my hips up to his and he grinds his back down on mine.
He breaks contact for a second to take his shirt off and for the first time I finally get to see what his body looks like. He's perfect. I only get to admire him for a moment as he doesnt hesitate to bring his lips back to my own. I push him to the side and climb on top of him and kiss him immediately.
We stay there for a while, just making out but I cant take it any more. I need him. All of him. He lifts my shirt up and I take it the rest of the way off. I start to kiss his neck and earn a moan from him. It is probably the hottest thing on earth. Making Gerard moan is like a drug. It makes me feel like I'm on top of the world to know I can make him feel good like that.
I start to kiss down his chest slowly. I swirl one of his nipples around with my tongue, making him bite his lip. I suck and nip at it one more time before i continue making my way down his stomach. I kiss all the way down to his snail trail and i start to unbutton his pants. He helps me get them off and I kiss his cock through his briefs. He arches his back and pushes his erection up to my mouth. I watch his face as I pull off his briefs and his thick cock springs free.
He's done some man-scaping and his dick is pretty big. I take it in my hand and lick if from the base to the tip causing him to moan and arch his back. I do it again but this time I move my mouth over the tip and suck gently. He's watching me and I dont break eye contact as I slide it in my mouth.
"Oh, Frank" he says in a shaky voice
I can taste his pre-cum. It's not even half way in and its already in my throat. I start bobbing my head up and down while I grasp the base with one hand. He closes his eyes and throws his head back. I suck and bob and he puts his hands in my hair, moaning my name which makes me unbelievably hard.
He pulls me up to him and starts kissing me again.
"Top or bottom, babe?"
"I dont know" I answer honestly
"You be top then"
I continue kissing him, I dont know how to do this. Ive never had gay sex before, what if i hurt him.
I think he can feel that I'm tense because he says
"Have you ever done this before?" and I shake my head
"You dont have to do this" he assures me
"But I want to"
"You sure?"
"Yes"
He looks me in the eye for a moment and the slowly kisses me. It's a caring kiss. Like he wants to make sure I'm okay.
I wrestle my pants off and Gee grabs lube and condoms out of his bedside table draw.
"Wow" he says when he sees me naked. I feel really self conscious but he quickly grabs me and starts sucking. It feels amazing. His warm mouth feels so good on my dick and the way he moves his tongue is incredible, swirling it over the tip, up and down my length when hes not sucking it. He takes it in his mouth again and pushes it all the way in, completely enveloping my cock. He holds it there, squinting up at me for a moment before he gags and pulls back, taking in a breath and staring at my wet dick before he takes it in his mouth again.
"Oh God, Gerard, I need you" He smirks up at me and lays back on the bed and I hover over him. He takes out a condom and puts it on for me and hands me the lube. I kiss him again and then squirt some of the lube on my fingers. I've seen gay porn before so I think I know what I'm doing.
He spreads his legs and I gently push a finger inside of him. He bites his lip and I start to move it in and out slowly.
"Another" he says
And I add another finger. His face looks like hes in pain, eyebrows furrowed, looking down at what I'm doing to him.
"Oh, keep going baby" He whimpers. I start sliding them in and out. I don't want to rush him so I keep doing this for a while when he begs;
"For god sake Frank, fuck me already"
I smile at his desperation and pull my fingers out. I line myself up and slowly push it in. He gasps with what I'm assuming is pleasure and I slide in the whole way.
It feels amazing. Warm and tight. I don't think I'll last long.
"Oh, Frank baby" he moans "Oh god that feels so good"
I start sliding in and out of him, slowly building up speed and he grabs his own cock and jerks it to the same rhythm that I'm fucking him at.
"Yes baby, right there, oh fuck" he moans when I angle myself in a different way, hitting his prostate.
This feels better than anything I've done before. I can't help but moan and say his name over and over. God, he looks so hot, biting his lip and staring back at me. I move in and out of him faster and faster, I'm getting close and I think he is too
"Oh, Gerard, I'm gonna-"
It felt like I was exploding. The feel of being inside him was almost too much for me too handle. I cant stop myself from moaning loudly when I empty my load inside of him. I was shaking and I didnt even notice Gee had came as well until I was done and he was still convulsing under me. He was gasping for air and I looked down at all the hot cum in between our sweaty bodies.
It feels like theres cotton balls in my ears, I cant hear properly it was that good.
"Oh my god Frank" he says between pants "That was amazing"
I kiss him again and slowly pull out.
We lie, side-by-side while we catch out breath.
"Gerard... that was the best sex... I've ever had"
He props himself up on his elbow and looks down to me.
"Me too, Frank" He whispers before he kisses me slowly.

Notes

I am both surprised and concerned at how easy it was for me to write smut :P
Please leave a comment of what you think, rate & subscribe. Let me know if this was too dirty

March on MCRmy <4